


Better Days

by Marvelfan1209



Series: Ups and Downs [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Awesome Natasha Romanov, Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Depression, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Wanda Maximoff, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Panic Attacks, Parent Natasha Romanov, Protective Natasha Romanov, Self-Harm, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Wanda Maximoff Angst, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:22:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28765521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvelfan1209/pseuds/Marvelfan1209
Summary: Wanda and Natasha have gotten much closer and Natasha has become a parental figure in Wanda's life. Sometimes she loves having a parent but other times she hates it. She has gotten over the death of her brother mostly, but not completely. She has some dark moments but she always finds her way back to the light.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Cooper Barton & Natasha Romanov, Cooper Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Laura Barton & Natasha Romanov, Laura Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Lila Barton & Natasha Romanov, Lila Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Nathaniel Pietro Barton & Natasha Romanov, Nathaniel Pietro Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff & Avengers Team, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark
Series: Ups and Downs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107506
Comments: 130
Kudos: 143





	1. Having Family is Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda is starting to fall into a rhythm after she arrives back at the compound with Natasha. She still has some demons that she is fighting with but she is doing much better as she continues to make improvements.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder, self-harm. Be safe!
> 
> Here we go, second story!! Thank you for all of the love you guys gave me on the first part of this story, I really, truly appreciate it!!! This one might start off a little slow but I plan on the length of the story being much larger than the last story. The last one ended with 14 chapters but I'm planning on this one having at least double that, but as always, we'll see! 
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter but I just wanted to get one out, the next one will be longer! Also, WandaVision is literally AMAZING!! I won't spoil it but I definitely can't wait for more!!!!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the first chapter of the second part!

NATASHA POV:

A lot had happened in the past week. 

The day we got back to the compound has been a fairly easy day. Wanda and I got settled in the compound and we trained for the first time in a long time. It had been a long day for Wanda so I wasn't surprised when she started to fall asleep during the movie. I felt her relaxing further and further into my side and I whispered, "I love you my sweet, little witch." 

I felt her tense next to me before she relaxed again and whispered back, "I love you too." She then turned her body so she could lay her head on my chest. She slowly drifted off to sleep and by the time the movie was over, she was in a deep sleep. I had carried her back to her room but she wouldn't let go of my shirt so I laid down next to her. It was the first time in a long time that she didn't have a nightmare. 

The next several days were nice. Wanda was in a good mood which was great to see. We would train very lightly each day, just to get Wanda used to moving around again and starting to condition her. She still had the tube in and I was trying to get her off of it sooner rather than later. She had had this tube for almost two weeks which meant that we were going to need to change it soon. I was _not_ looking forward to having to place it again but I was going to have to if we didn't get her eating full meals again. 

Steve, Tony and I would try to get her to eat more and more at each meal but the most we had gotten her to eat was two pieces of buttered bread with an orange. That was huge compared to most of her other meals. We could sometimes get her to eat a bowl of cereal but then she would refuse to eat anything else until she did a training session. I knew that it was just her mind trying to assure her that she wasn't offering her body nutrients but it was upsetting nonetheless. 

It was the sixth day at the compound when Wanda surprised me. She had had a rough night from another nightmare but when she walked into the kitchen, she grabbed two frozen waffles out of the freezer and on her way to put them in the toaster, she made an announcement, "I am done with the feeding tube." I set my coffee cup down and looked at her, waiting to see if anything followed that statement. 

She put the two waffles in the toaster and pulled out an orange which she started peeling. She also went over to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup of coffee. I stared at her in disbelief. She had gone from eating a piece of bread, a small bowl of grapes, and a dinner roll the day before to eating a full breakfast the next. 

The waffles finished in the toaster and she pulled them out and lathered them in peanut butter. She then sat down at the table and quickly ate all of the food. She didn't seem upset which was good but I had a feeling that there was a reason for this sudden need to eat, I just didn't know if I wanted to question her about it yet. 

"Wanda?" I asked as soon as she had finished all of her food and got up to leave. 

"Yeah Nat?" 

"Is there a reason why you just ate an entire breakfast?" I was slightly nervous that Wanda was in some kind of trance and that my comment would make her snap out of it and freak out but she stayed calm as she looked at me. 

She shrugged, "I'm just done with the tube. If I eat today, can we take the tube out?" I was trying to think of what we had talked about recently and if any of it would contribute to this sudden change. Maybe she really was just ready to get back to normal?

"Um, maybe not today but if you eat that well, then we can very soon." I knew that one day of good eating was not going to guarantee another day of good eating so I wanted to take it slow. 

"Okay, can we go train now?" Something about her seemed off but not necessarily in a bad way. It almost seemed like she was reading off of a script and that she was hiding something but she didn't seem upset so I let it go. 

"Sure, let me just go get changed really quick," I told her. "I'll meet you in the gym. Why don't you go warm up, take a few laps around the gym?" She nodded and took off in the direction of the gym. 

I quickly got changed and met her in the gym within five minutes. She was jogging lightly around the edge of the gym, just like I had told her too. When she noticed me she jogged over to where I was standing. 

We quickly got into our routine of sparring gently and then working on power control. She was getting stronger and I knew I was going to have to let her start to _actually_ train soon but that didn't mean she was going to become an Avenger. She still didn't know this so she was set on training to be an Avenger. Luckily a mission hadn't come up yet so she hasn't needed to find out my plan yet, but I knew that this wouldn't last forever. 

She seemed to act completely normal during training which made me question what I had thought earlier. Maybe I just imagined her being off? 

We finished training and then we headed back to the living room. I watched as Wanda grabbed a granola bar in the kitchen before joining me in the living room. Vision was in the living room and he asked to talk to Wanda. I shrugged and left the room, leaving Wanda and Vision alone to talk. I then headed off to go find Tony, I needed to talk to him about the feeding tube situation. 

Sure enough I found him in his lab. 

"Hey Tones," I said as I entered the lab and sat on one of his rolly-chairs. 

"What's up?" he asked as he continued working. 

"Wanda's eating again." He glanced in my direction but continued working. 

"Okay...she has been eating, hasn't she? This isn't new information."

"No, I mean like actually eating enough to sustain her body. She ate a full breakfast this morning and she grabbed a granola bar when we finished training. She said she wants to get off of the tube." Tony had stopped working to look at me.

"Are you going to let her get off of the tube?"

"Well I mean I don't want her to have to live with it! If she is eating, I think I should take it out."

"Remember how much of a pain in the ass it was to put it in?" Tony reminded me. 

"Yeah but she's in a much better place now, both mentally and physically. She hasn't thrown up in weeks-"

"That you know of," Tony mumbled under his breath. 

I glared at him but continued. "She is getting much stronger and can move around without getting lightheaded. She can run and spar now which is a huge improvement from a few weeks ago. She can also eat meals. Before, just thinking about food put her into a full-blown panic attack. I think she's ready to get off of the feeding tube."

"She's your kid, if you want, go for it." I froze when he said "your kid." I thought of her as my own daughter but I didn't know that other people thought of her as mine as well. 

"I think I'll make sure that she eats well all of today and tomorrow. If she eats well, I'll take the tube out tomorrow afternoon, hopefully for good this time." 

"Alright, let me know if you need help with any of it." By "it," I assumed he meant placement or removal of the tube so I thanked him and then left his lab, going to find Wanda to let her know that it was lunchtime. 

WANDA POV:

Despite Nat having her own room at the compound, she chose to sleep with me every night. It made me feel like a baby but it also made me feel safe and secure. I had managed to sleep through one whole night without a nightmare but unfortunately, the nightmares were back the next night, leaving me bawling in Nat's arms until the early hours of the morning. 

We had been at the compound for almost a week when I had another nightmare, this one was a bit different though.

_Pietro was yelling at me, but not because I shot him. He was telling me that I was weak because I couldn't eat like a normal person. He screamed at me until I was sobbing, begging him to stop. He told me that my tube made me ugly and that if I didn't get rid of it soon, he was going to hate me and possibly kill me, depending on how mad he was._

When I woke up, I knew it wasn't real but it didn't mean that my feelings understood that it wasn't real.

I felt hurt and scared. I wanted to get rid of the tube so that Pietro didn't hate me. Natasha was in the room when I woke up but I didn't cry as much this time, I was mainly scared and disgusted with myself for needing the tube. I was weak, Pietro had told me that. It took all of my strength to not reach up and pull the tube out right now. 

I didn't get anymore sleep that night but after about half an hour of Nat rubbing my back and telling me that it was okay, I pulled away and turned over, feigning sleep until I heard her breaths deepen and even out, meaning she fell asleep. 

I tried to go back to sleep but every time I closed my eyes, I saw Pietro screaming at me, calling me weak. I heard Natasha get up at around 5:30 and then I heard her talking to someone else outside of the room. When I listened closely, I heard a male voice that matched Steve's. 

The voices got further and further away until I could no longer hear them. I climbed out of bed and sat at my desk, rolling up my sleeve to look at the red marks on my arm. Most of them were faded or gone completely but there were still some that I had made the night before. After I was sure that Nat wasn't coming back, I started snapping the band on my arm, over and over again, until I started to draw blood. 

I knew to stop there and move to another section of my arm. I heard a small noise come from one corner in my room and I whipped around, shoving my sleeve down in the process, scared that I had been caught. 

Vision had just phased through my wall. "Vision!" I shouted quietly enough that no one else in the compound could hear me but loud enough that he would know I was upset. "You can't just phase through my wall! There are doors for a reason. What if I was changing? Huh, then what would you have done?"

"I'm sorry, I just thought that since you were awake, you would be okay with a visitor. I see that I was wrong now and for that I'm sorry. Also I don't see how you changing would have made a difference?"

"I wouldn't have had clothes on Vision. You can't barge into people's rooms, you have to knock on the door and wait for them to call you in. Then and only then can you enter the room, okay?" I was a lot calmer now, knowing that Vision didn't mean to be rude, he just didn't know any better.

"I will knock next time," he told me. "Before I go, can I ask you a question?" I nodded at him to go ahead. "What were you doing before I entered?" He looked at my wrist and I realized that I had tiny red marks on my shirt. I was wearing a white shirt so it was fairly easy to see. 

"Oh, um, nothing."

"It appears that you are bleeding," he said as he walked closer, pointing to my wrist. 

"Oh, I um accidentally gave myself a paper cut with this," I said, holding up a piece of notebook paper. "I was just working on bandaging it when you came in," I lied. 

"Well I hope your wrist feels better soon," he told me sincerely. "Do you need any help bandaging your wrist?"

"No thanks. I'm all good," I smiled at him. "Thank you for asking though." He then hesitantly said goodbye and left the room. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled my sleeve back up to look at my wrist. It wasn't bleeding heavily but it was enough to stain my shirt. 

I quickly stripped my shirt and pulled on another one in case Nat got back soon. I snapped the rubber band a few more times on both of my wrists and then I cleaned them before getting dressed into workout gear. 

It was around 7:30 when I finally left my room and headed to the kitchen. I had been thinking about this moment since my nightmare. I was going to make Pietro think I was strong, I was going to get off of my tube. Natasha looked up when I walked in, her hair was slightly damp which meant that she had showered, most likely in her room because she hadn't come back to our room since she left that morning. My guess was she went on a run with Steve. It was kind of nice that she left me alone. It's not that I didn't like her company, to be honest, I didn't really want to be without her but it was nice to know that she now trusted me enough to leave me alone without a babysitter for a few hours. 

I announced that I was done with the tube while I started to make my breakfast. Natasha didn't say anything so I continued making my breakfast. I was really tired since I hadn't gotten much sleep that night so I poured myself a cup of coffee while the rest of my breakfast finished baking. 

I was deep in thought while I ate, thinking about how proud of me Pietro would be for not being weak. I was also going to get rid of this tube soon so he wouldn't think I was ugly. I knew he couldn't kill me in real life but that didn't mean that he couldn't do anything in my dreams. I got pulled out of my thoughts by Nat's voice. "Wanda?" 

"Yeah Nat?"

"Is there a reason why you just ate an entire breakfast?" There was no way that I was going to tell her the actual reason, because if I did, she would make me talk to a shrink and I didn't want that. 

I nonchalantly responded with, "I'm just done with the tube. If I eat today, can we take the tube out?" I wanted to please the Pietro that had been in my dreams. 

"Um, maybe not today but if you eat that well, then we can very soon." Her response wasn't exactly what I wanted but it was good enough. 

"Okay, can we go train now?" This would show Pietro that I wasn't weak. If I trained, it would show him that I was becoming powerful and that he could think of me as strong, not weak. 

She let me know that we could but that she had to get changed really quick. She also told me to do some laps so I quickly headed down to the gym and sprinted two full laps. I then started jogging because I felt like my legs were going to give out. Nat then entered the gym and I jogged over to her, getting ready to train. 

I was hoping that she would let me train harder today but it was the same as every other day, light sparring with power control. It kind of sucked but I also worked really hard to make the sparring perfect so that Pietro would be proud of me. 

Training flew by and soon Nat was announcing that we were done. I grabbed a granola bar before following Nat to the living room and was slightly surprised to see Vision in the living room. 

"Can I speak to you Wanda?" he asked as I started unwrapping the granola bar. Nat looked at me. 

"Sure," I said. Nat shrugged and left. "What's up?"

"How are your wrists doing?" I quickly checked to make sure that no one else was in the room before answering. 

"They are good. I hate paper cuts, they sting like a son of a bitch but I'm okay now," I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner before I turned to leave. He stopped me though. 

"Do you get paper cuts from rubber bands?" I froze and turned to look at him. 

"What do you mean?"

"Well you told me that you got a paper cut from notebook paper but when I came in your room, you had a rubber band around your wrist and it looked like it was causing you pain from the loud snapping noise it made. That was a rubber band wasn't it?"

I was starting to panic slightly but knew that I had a good chance at getting Vision to hide this from everyone. 

"Well you don't get paper cuts from rubber bands but rubber bands can cause other injuries." I knew that there was no point in lying about that. He knew I was lying and he would probably tell on me then. "I was just curious as to what a rubber band felt like when it hit you, that's all. No problem."

"Oh, well I may be wrong but it looked like it hurt you so maybe you should refrain from doing that in the future?" 

"Of course. Now can we keep this our little secret? It was no big deal but Nat won't see it that way, she overreacts."

"No problem Wanda, this will be our little secret," he told me and I immediately trusted him. 

"Thank you so much Vis!" I then headed to my room to shower from the training. 

By the time I finished showering and getting dressed, it was already lunch time. I walked into the kitchen and Nat was already there, making cobb salads. I sat down and quickly ate the one that she made for me. She looked at me a little weird but I didn't care, my main concern was to please Pietro. 

The rest of the day flew by with Nat and I going outside to get some fresh air and then Tony asking me all about my time at the Barton's. Before I knew it, it was time to go back to bed. I was nervous that Pietro would be back and wouldn't be happy since I hadn't managed to get rid of the tube. I had eaten a large bowl of spaghetti for dinner and then I even had a donut for dessert to try to please Pietro. 

As Nat and I climbed in bed, I prayed that Pietro wouldn't show up mad at me in my dreams again. 

Luck was not on my side as I had another dream with him and he was _not_ happy that I still had the tube.

_He screamed at me and called me weak and ugly again. He told me that he now hated me which made me sob and beg him for forgiveness. I tried to reason with him and tell him that I tried to get rid of the tube by eating but that I had to wait another day before I could get rid of it but he didn't want to listen. Instead he pulled out a knife and approached me. I tried to back up and run away from him but some invisible force kept me glued to the ground and he was able to hold the knife against my throat as he warned me. "If you don't get rid of the tube by tomorrow night, you will not be happy." He left the threat open but I knew exactly what he planned to do and it included the knife that was pressed against my throat._

_He threw me back and looked at me with such hateful eyes that my heart broke. I begged him for forgiveness but he just ignored me, sharpening his knife._

This time when I woke up, I did cry, _a lot._ Natasha held me and told me that it was going to be okay and eventually, I calmed down. I knew that they were just dreams but the look in his eyes haunted me. I never wanted my brother to hate me but that's what was happening. All that meant was that I was going to have to try harder with eating the next day. I could do that, especially if it would make Pietro happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!!
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated and let me know if you would like anything to be added to this story. I have a general outline for how I want this story to go but there are still a lot of blank holes that I need to fill so if you have a specific thing that you would like to see, let me know!! I will try my best to incorporate all of your ideas, no matter how big or how small!! 
> 
> Thank you for all of your guys' awesome support! I was asked on the last chapter of the first story if there was a way to get notifications if I post something. I'm not totally positive but there should be a button that says Subscribe somewhere on the story. If you subscribe to the series (Ups and Downs) it should send you emails every time I update. If you subscribe to an individual story (like this one or Be Okay) then I think it will just give you notifications if I change anything on that specific story, not the series. I'm still kind of new to this site so if I got any of this wrong or if someone knows how to receive notifications, please help me out!!
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter will be out by mid-week but we'll see! Have a great weekend everyone!


	2. Dreams Don't End at Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda gets haunted by her dreams and it effects her even during the day. She still makes improvements from a medical standpoint but she is suffering a little bit from a mental standpoint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hope you are all doing well!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder, self-harm, anxiety/panic. Be safe! :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all of the feedback on the last chapter!! I will make sure that all of your ideas and requests are added at some point. I have to find the right time for all of them to be included though so please don't get upset if you don't see your request in this chapter, you will eventually see it!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

NATASHA POV:

Wanda had continued to eat well throughout the rest of yesterday and then she ate well today as well so I told her that we could get rid of the tube. She was a little nervous to have it pulled out since it had been hurting her earlier so I told her that we could take it as slow or as fast as she wanted it. She just wanted it out though!

"I'm ready," she breathed out as I grabbed a hold of her tube. I gently pulled it out but made sure to do it fast enough that it didn't cause her extra pain. The tube was out quickly and Wanda looked ecstatic. She had been acting off for the past two days but I couldn't place a finger on it. It wasn't causing problems though so I let her be, not pushing her to tell me what was going on. 

"You did it Wands," I told her as I gave her a hug. We were finally ready to put the tube behind us and move forward. I expect to have some bumps in her eating but hopefully she'll do good for a long time and hopefully we'll never get back to how bad she was before. 

"I did it," she whispered as she pulled away from me. She then mumbled something else but I couldn't understand a word she said. Before I could ask her to repeat herself, she was up, running off to the lab. "I've gotta go show Tony!" I smiled and started to clean up the supplies from the tube removal. 

As I was throwing out the tube, I ran into Vision. 

"Hello Agent Romanoff," he greeted. 

"Hi Vision. How are you?"

"I'm doing quite alright. Has Wanda spoken to you about anything?" I looked at him curiously. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Oh nothing, I was just curious to see if you two have had a conversation lately." He knew something that he wasn't telling me, it was extremely obvious. I thought that androids were incapable of lying but then again, I guess he wasn't really lying, it was more of an omission of the truth. 

"What would we be talking about Vision?" I questioned in a tone that told him I was not joking around. When he didn't speak up, I continued, "Vision, what do you know?"

"Nothing Agent Romanoff. Wanda and I have had some lovely conversations and I was just wondering if you too also partook in interesting conversations." Now he was lying, this was not what he wanted to talk to me about but I wasn't going to push it. I'll just ask Wanda later. 

"Yes, Wanda and I have had many pleasant conversations. Now if you excuse me, I have to go find her." He nodded as I stepped around him and headed down to the lab. Once I got there, I saw Tony showing Wanda one of his many projects. 

"Hi Nat!" she said, smiling, as she saw me enter. 

"Hi, I just had an interesting conversation with Vision," I started, watching as her smile faded. 

"What'd he say?" she asked and I immediately knew something was up. I had one idea as to what it could have been and I sure hoped not. I slept with Wanda and was with her most of the day so I don't know when they could have done it but Wanda was a teenager, if she wanted to, she'd find a way. 

"I don't know, why don't you tell me what you think he said," I pushed slightly. I didn't want her to get upset but it was obvious that they were hiding something from me. 

"Well I don't know why he would be talking to you about me," she feigned innocence. Tony looked at us curiously. 

I sighed, I wasn't ready for this. "C'mon Wanda, we need to have a little _talk_." She looked at me confused. 

"Why?"

"Well I need to make sure that you are being _safe_ and all," I said smoothly, trying to catch her on. "You know, the birds and the bees?" Tony choked on his coffee and Wanda blushed. 

"No Nat! Vision and I are not... we haven't... we're not like that. That hasn't happened and it never will!" I smirked at the horrified look on her face. 

"Okay, I was just making sure." She huffed and turned back to Tony. 

"You didn't hear a thing," she scolded and he held his hands up. I laughed but then realized that I had no idea what Vision was trying to hint to me. 

"Wanda, we still have to have a talk though. You and Vision may not be screwing around but we still need to have a talk as to what he said." She looked nervous as we left the lab and headed to the living room. 

It was empty when we got there so we both sat down and I looked at her. "Do you want to tell me anything before I tell you what Vision said?" She shook her head after some hesitation so I continued. "Well, he was asking if we have had any _interesting_ conversations lately, so, tell me Wanda, what interesting conversations _should_ we be having?" I wasn't mad but I was firm so that she knew that this wasn't a joke. 

"Um, I don't know. He was probably just confused like always," she stuttered out as she looked at me. She was fidgeting with the edges of her sleeves and messing with her rings, both nervous habits she had. 

"Wanda," I warned. 

"It's nothing!" she yelled and I was surprised. She was normally pretty calm or she would start crying but she didn't usually yell at me. "I don't know why you care anyways!" she yelled as she got up to leave. I grabbed her wrist and made her look at me. 

"Wanda, calm down," I told her gently. "I'm not mad at you, I just want to know if there is something that I should know?" I knew that there was something because she got angry which was a defense mechanism but from what I could see, she wasn't doing anything detrimental to her health so she didn't necessarily _need_ to tell me right away. I would like her too but it wasn't required.

"Well nothing is going on that you need to know about so let me go," she said as she pulled her arm away from me and crossed her arms over her chest. She was starting to frustrate me a little bit but I knew that she was a teenager and that this is what they did. 

"Okay, well I want you to know that I am here to talk to anytime you want to," I started gently.

"Well I don't want to talk so don't worry about it," she said with sass as she turned to leave. 

"I wasn't finished," I raised my voice. 

"I am," she said as she continued to walk off. 

"If you're not back here by the count of three, you're going to be sorry," I warned. She stopped but didn't walk back over. "One," still no movement. "Two," nothing. I did not want to say three. "Thr-" She rushed over to stand in front of me. "That's better," I told her. "Now when I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it the first time, not whenever you feel like it." She rolled her eyes at me. 

"Whatever," she mumbled under her breath. 

"Excuse me?" I asked. 

"Fine, I'm sorry. Can I go now?"

"You can. You can go straight to your room and think about your attitude. FRIDAY will be watching you and if she tells me that you left the room, we will be having a serious discussion. Got it?" 

"Yeah," she breathed as she stormed off to her room. I was just glad that she didn't argue with me over being sent to her room. 

I took a breath as I sat on the couch. How did Laura ever deal with me when I was a teenager?

WANDA POV:

Nat pulled out my tube after I told her I was ready and it was such a relief, now Pietro could go back to being happy with me instead of calling me weak and ugly. 

"You did it Wands," she told me as she pulled me into a hug. 

"I did it," I whispered. "I did it for you Pietro," I said extremely quietly, not wanting to chance Nat hearing it and questioning me. I wanted to go show Tony that it was gone so I left as I yelled over my shoulder, "I've gotta go show Tony!" Nat didn't follow me so I went all the way down to the lab where Tony was working on some projects. 

I put the code in the keypad and opened the door. "Hi Tony," I exclaimed as I strolled over to see what he was doing. "Whatcha working on?"

"Oh, nothing much," he said and it looked like he was about to launch into an explanation as he looked up at me and stopped. 

"Notice anything different?" I asked him as I smiled. 

"Wow kiddo, it's gone already? That was fast, you did awesome!" I gave him a quick hug and then asked him to show me some of the things he was working on so he started pulling me through the lab, showing me his different work stations with all of the projects. 

We were so busy that I didn't notice Nat at the door until she was in the lab. "Hi Nat!" I said as I walked over to her. 

"Hi, I just had an interesting conversation with Vision." My heart dropped to the floor. There was no way he told her about what he saw in my room, he wouldn't tell her, would he? 

"What'd he say?" I realized that Nat could be talking about anything, it wasn't necessarily about me, right? I didn't want to give myself up so I wanted to wait to hear her say it before I told her about the rubber band thing. 

"I don't know, why don't you tell me what you think he said." I knew what she was doing, I wasn't stupid, and I definitely wasn't going to out myself. 

"Well I don't know why he would be talking to you about me," I told her innocently. 

Nat seemed upset and then she started asking me to go have a talk with her. She kept saying _talk_ weird and both Tony and I were confused. Then she told me that she planned to have the birds and the bees talk with me and there was no way that I was going to have that conversation with her! I already knew all of that stuff, and even worse, Vis and I _were not_ doing that, never. Ew, that's just gross. 

She seemed amused at my slight panic attack but informed me that we still needed to have a talk. From what she had said so far, I don't think she knows what's going on but I never knew. She was a very sneaky woman who liked to hide her emotions and thoughts. She could be thinking literally anything and I would have no clue what was going on in her brain without using my powers. 

She brought us to the living room and sat me down to have a talk. It felt like I was in trouble which immediately made me want to get defensive. "Do you want to tell me anything before I tell you what Vision said?" Shit, that made it sound like she knew what was going on. Should I fess up and hopefully not get in trouble for hiding this or should I wait and hope that she doesn't know but also risk getting in trouble? I had to decide quickly as I shook my head. "Well, he was asking if we have had any _interesting_ conversations lately, so, tell me Wanda, what interesting conversations _should_ we be having?" She didn't know, thank gosh! 

"Um, I don't know. He was probably just confused like always." Vis usually didn't know what was going on in this modern world so I was hoping that I could pass off whatever conversation they had as a misunderstanding with him. 

"Wanda," she warned me and I immediately got defensive. I didn't want to talk!

"It's nothing! I don't know why you care anyways!" She looked at me shocked before she quickly hid the shock with a neutral expression tinted with anger. I tried to leave but she made sure that I couldn't by grabbing my wrist. I was panicking slightly, hoping that she didn't feel the rubber band on my wrist or somehow feel the welts through my shirt.

She continued to push and I couldn't stand it. "Well nothing is going on that you need to know about so let me go." 

"Okay, well I want you to know that I am here to talk to anytime you want to," Nat told me gently. 

"Well I don't want to talk so don't worry about it," I sassed as I made to leave the room. 

"I wasn't finished," she told me strictly as I continued to leave. 

"I am," I told her. 

"If you're not back here by the count of three, you're going to be sorry," she warned. I stopped but when I didn't move, I heard, "One. Two." I didn't want her to feel the satisfaction of me walking over but I also didn't want to get in trouble. Nat continued, "Thr-" I quickly got in front of her so that she didn't have any reason to punish me. "That's better. Now when I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it the first time, not whenever you feel like it." 

"Whatever," I mumbled as I rolled my eyes. I wanted to say "whatever bitch" but I knew that that would not go over well so I held my tongue at the end. I couldn't hold back the "whatever" though. 

"Excuse me?" she raised her eyebrow at me as she crossed her arms. 

"Fine, I'm sorry. Can I go now?" My voice was still full of attitude but she seemed to be done with me. 

"You can. You can go straight to your room and think about your attitude. FRIDAY will be watching you and if she tells me that you left the room, we will be having a serious discussion. Got it?" 

"Yeah," I huffed as I stormed off. I got to my room and sat on the bed as I rolled up my sleeve. I started snapping the band thinking of all of the words Pietro called me. Ugly, one snap, weak, another snap. I kept going until I was bleeding, then I went to my bathroom and cleaned the wounds. I figured that the rubber band was much better than cutting because I wasn't trying to kill myself, I was just punishing myself and making sure that I felt grounded to reality. 

I felt a knock at the door and I huffed as I called out, "Come in." I expected Natasha so I was surprised to see Steve at the door. 

"Nat told me to tell you that it's dinner time." I looked at him and felt tears come to my eyes. Had I ruined my relationship with Nat? She didn't even want to talk to me? She had to have Steve talk to me because she couldn't? 

Steve noticed the tears and came over to me. "Do you want me to get Nat?" he asked as he sat next to me, rubbing my arm to try to offer me comfort. I shook my head as tears started to fall, I didn't want to see her disappointed face, then hers would show up in my dream along with Pietro's. 

"I'm such a failure," I choked out before I started crying. Before I knew what was happening, I felt big, strong arms wrap around me and I opened my eyes to see Steve holding me. 

"You are not a failure," he told me soothingly. "You are so strong, you got off of your tube. Is that a failure?" I shook my head. "Exactly, you are so strong. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you are a failure." 

I calmed down and pulled away from him, embarrassed. "Thanks Steve," I mumbled, wiping away the rest of my tears. 

"No problem," he told me, smiling gently. "I'm always here to talk to if you ever need it, okay?" I nodded. "Okay, now let's go eat. Nat's probably wondering where we are." I got up and headed into the bathroom while Steve left the room. 

I took some deep breaths while I looked in the mirror. I splashed my face with water, trying to get rid of the red splotches on my face from crying. Once I was satisfied with how my face looked I left the room and headed to the dining area. 

Nat and Steve were talking quietly in the corner of the room and Nat looked at me concerned as soon as I walked in. I knew that Steve was telling Nat what had just happened, that I had a meltdown like a two year old. I looked down as I sat down at the table, getting ready to eat. I was excited to be able to eat without the food pulling on the tube in the back of my throat. 

We were having grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner so I quietly started nibbling on the sandwich while the rest of the team sat down. Nat was on my left, Steve and Tony each had an end of the table, and Vision and Rhodey both sat on the other side of the table, across from Nat and me. 

They all chatted while we ate, I stayed silent though, not really looking up from my soup. I was still upset from the fight that Nat and I had had earlier. I quickly finished my food and then excused myself from the table, heading to the gym. I know Nat said that I was only allowed to train for an hour a day which I already did with her earlier but I wasn't technically training...I was just, working out. 

I started punching a punching bag and then ran around, trying to burn off some calories. I was so busy punching the bag that I didn't hear when the door opened or even Nat calling my name. 

I felt a hand grab onto my shoulder and I spun around and shot a red ball out of my hand, throwing the person against the wall. I almost threw up when I saw Nat groaning on the floor, slowly standing up. 

"Oh my gosh Nat! I'm so sorry! I didn't hear you coming!" I rushed to explain as I ran over to help her up. 

"It's okay honey," she told me as she grabbed my face and made me look at her to try to prevent me from panicking. "I'm okay, I'm not hurt."

"Yes you are," I said. I slammed her into the wall _hard,_ there was no way that she was completely fine. 

"I'm okay, let's go up to bed." I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was already 10 pm which meant that I had been in the gym for nearly 4 hours! I was glad she wasn't yelling at me about not listening to her about the one hour rule but I had a feeling we would be having a talk about it later. 

I let her guide me all the way to our room and then quickly got changed in the bathroom. I was feeling shaky, probably from all of the exercise, so I was glad when I was finally in bed. Nat climbed in next to me and looked at me. 

"Are you okay honey?" she asked me and I so badly wanted to tell her about Pietro but instead of talking, I just nodded. "You can tell me anything, I won't get mad or judge you." I couldn't tell her about Pietro, she would make me see a therapist and I don't want to talk about my problems. I so badly wanted to tell her though but I couldn't make myself say anything. I was scared that Pietro would get mad at me and call me weak for asking for help. I was getting upset, trying to figure out if I should tell her or not, and tears started leaking out of the corners of my eyes. 

Nat saw and wiped away the tears, pulling me into her chest. "Oh baby, what's wrong?" I shook my head and just enjoyed feeling safe in her arms. Nat had something about her that made it so that when she was hugging me, I immediately felt calmer and safe. 

"I can't tell you!" I told her, distraught. 

"I promise I won't get mad honey. Just tell me what's going on, I can't help you if you don't talk to me. Is eating getting too much?" 

I finally gave in and told her. "Pietro hates me!" I cried. "He hates me Nat and he's going to kill me!" I realized how crazy I sounded but it honestly felt great to get it off of my chest. 

"Pietro doesn't hate you baby," she told me quietly, gently rubbing my back. "Why do you think he hates you?"

"Because he told me!" 

"How did he tell you?" 

"In my dream, he called me ugly and weak and he almost killed me last night with a knife." Nat probably thought I was insane but I didn't want to stop telling her about it since I started. It felt so nice to finally have someone who could protect me from my dreams and tell me that it wasn't real. 

"Pietro loves you so much and he would never hurt you. It's just your brain playing tricks on you, trying to get you to believe things that aren't real. You're okay, you're strong, and you are so beautiful. Pietro loves you, I love you, Steve and Tony love you, the entire team loves you, you are not alone okay?" 

"Okay," I muttered into her chest. "I love you guys too." My crying had slowed down and I was now just tired. One of my hands was holding onto Nat's shirt while the other one was resting on her shoulder. I was really scared to see how Pietro felt about me asking for help and opening up about my dreams but I was really tired and could barely keep my eyes open. 

Nat seemed to know that I was exhausted because she didn't make me move and just continued to rub my back and card her fingers through my hair, making me relax. "You're okay. I've got you. Shh, shh," Nat whispered over and over again until I drifted off to sleep. 

NATASHA POV:

I asked Steve to go get Wanda for dinner while I finished making the grilled cheese. He was gone for a while and I was about to go make sure that everything was okay when he re-entered the kitchen. He walked straight over to me with a serious look on his face. 

"What happened?" I asked, getting ready to run up to go check on Wanda. 

"Nothing, she's okay. She started crying when I came in but she didn't want me to get you so I made sure she was okay before I left. She should be down momentarily."

"What? Wait, why was she crying? Did she say anything?" I asked, trying to figure out why she was upset. We had just fought but she was angry when she left, not sad. 

"She didn't say anything, she just cried." I was about to ask more questions when I saw Wanda walk into the room and sit down at the table quietly, starting to eat her food. Soon the entire team was sitting down and I couldn't help but notice that she didn't say one thing during the entire dinner. She was very quiet but did eat all of her food so I wasn't going to complain. 

She finished before we were done so she got up and left. I got up to follow her. 

"Just give her some time," Tony said from his spot at the table. "She's a teenager and they get moody sometimes." I wanted to explain that this wasn't what Wanda was like but I decided that maybe she needed some time. 

We finished dinner and I decided to go do some work for Fury before I went to go find Wanda. I was so sucked into my work that I didn't notice I had been working for three hours. 

I quickly got up and asked FRIDAY where Wanda was. She told me that she had been in the gym since dinner finished so that's where I headed. 

I entered to see her punching one of the sandbags but she didn't seem to notice me, or she was ignoring me. I walked up to her and touched her shoulder. I was surprised when she whipped around and used her powers to throw me back. My back slammed into the wall and I fell to the floor, groaning. Wanda immediately started apologizing and ran up to me, helping me stand. 

I knew I would have a huge bruise tomorrow but she didn't need to know that so I told her that I was fine. She didn't believe me but she eventually gave up as we went to our room. She got changed in the bathroom like she always did and then she crawled into bed. I followed suit and turned to look at her, she looked upset so I asked, "Are you okay honey?" She nodded but didn't say anything. I could tell that she wanted to say something so I continued, "You can tell me anything, I won't get mad or judge you."

I saw a tear fall down her cheek and I knew that something was wrong. Why wouldn't she talk to me? "Oh baby, what's wrong?" She shook her head and buried further into my arms. 

"I can't tell you!" she cried out and she sounded absolutely distraught. 

"I promise I won't get mad honey. Just tell me what's going on, I can't help you if you don't talk to me. Is eating getting too much?" I desperately wanted her to tell me what was wrong, I couldn't stand to see her upset. 

"Pietro hates me!" I paused and looked at her, trying to figure out what she meant. "He hates me Nat and he's going to kill me!" I just rubbed her back as I thought of what to say. Pietro was dead. Was she seeing him? Hearing him? What was going on?

"Pietro doesn't hate you baby. Why do you think he hates you?" I asked her, trying to figure out why Wanda thought that her dead brother hated her. 

"Because he told me!" she sobbed. Now I was starting to get a little worried. What was she seeing that I wasn't?

"How did he tell you?"

"In my dream, he called me ugly and weak and he almost killed me last night with a knife." Okay, so she was having nightmares with him, poor baby. She couldn't escape the pain even in her sleep. 

She was just getting more upset so I told her, "Pietro loves you so much and he would never hurt you. It's just your brain playing tricks on you, trying to get you to believe things that aren't real. You're okay, you're strong, and you are so beautiful. Pietro loves you, I love you, Steve and Tony love you, the entire team loves you, you are not alone okay?" She started to calm down after I told her that and I was relieved. 

"Okay. I love you guys too," she said quietly, still hiding in my chest. I muttered to her to try to keep her calm as I felt her drift off to sleep. I didn't dare move her, scared that she would wake back up and start to panic so I slept with my sweet girl on my chest. 

After a few minutes of sitting there, rubbing her back, making sure that she stayed asleep, I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! I tried to show a relationship with Wanda and some of the other Avengers so hopefully you liked how I included that! If not, let me know how I can make it better!! I will also develop all of their relationships throughout the story, I am just kinda playing around with it right now!
> 
> Hope you all have a great rest of your week!!


	3. The Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda has another nightmare and then a tiny accident during her run the next day, proving to Natasha again how strong she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hope you are all doing well!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Self harm, panic/anxiety. Be safe! :)
> 
> I know I said in the first story in this series that I would try to post at least twice a week but now my life is starting to get a bit busier with school and all that so updates will probably only be once a week for now. I'll try to get extra updates out if I have some free time but for now, just expect one a week! :)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

WANDA POV:

_Pietro looked at me from the corner of the room. "You got rid of your tube, good," he muttered to me._

_"I did it Pietro! I'm strong now, right?"_

_"Hmm, earlier I would have said that you were strong, getting rid of the tube and all, but now, I'm not so sure."_

_My stomach dropped. I tried so hard! "Why Pietro? What can I do to be stronger? I don't want to be weak!" I begged from my corner of the room._

_"You asked for help, a very weak thing to do. A strong person would continue to work through it on their own, not ask their pathetic excuse of a mom for help." I felt a pang of pain from how he described Natasha._

_"I didn't ask for help Pietro, I just told Nat what was happening," I tried to reason with him._

_"No, you asked for help which is unacceptable. Natasha is not your mother! Don't you know that! Mother is extremely mad at you for replacing her, she wants you to know that she hates you. Natasha doesn't want you, she hates being your friend. She wanted you to die when you sliced your wrists-"_

_"No," I cut him off, putting my hands over my ears. "You're lying! Nat loves me! She saved me when I cut my wrists, she wouldn't have done that if she didn't love me!" I cried._

_Pietro smirked at me as he came towards me. "Poor sister," he placed his hand on my cheek. "You really are delusional. Natasha. Doesn't. Love. You," he told me, pausing between every word, trying to let it sink in._

_"No, she does!" I sobbed. Then Pietro picked his hand up and slapped me across the face. I looked up at him, shocked._

_"She doesn't! She never has and she never will! You're just a burden to her, she hates you. It makes sense, I don't know how anyone could love you, even someone as messed up as Natasha." I was crying too hard to respond. "Don't worry, I won't kill you. Technically, you did what I asked you to do, you got rid of the tube."_

_I looked up at him and something in his face changed, he seemed to soften a bit as he knelt down next to me. "Wanda, I am just trying to protect you." I didn't see how threatening to kill me and telling me that Nat didn't love me was protecting me but it was nice that he was showing me comfort, not anger._

_"Can you tell mother I'm sorry? I love her and I'm not trying to replace her!" I cried to him. He shook his head._

_"Tell her yourself," he gestured to the back of the room. My mom was sitting in a chair._

_The dream then morphed and everyone was sitting at our old dinner table, Pietro, papa, mother, and me. We were all eating dinner and they were all laughing. I was confused but I started eating silently, not laughing but watching._

_All of a sudden, a loud noise went off and a bomb flew through our window, going off and creating a gaping hole in the middle of our apartment floor. Mother and papa fell down, screaming for me as Pietro dragged me under the bed._

_I looked over to see if Pietro was okay and was shocked to see several blood stains on his shirt, right where the bullet holes had been. "Pietro!" I called out as blood started pouring out of his mouth and onto the floor._

_"Good luck," he choked out as he smiled and then he became limp on the floor._

_"Wanda! Wanda!" I heard someone yelling and I looked out from under the bed to see Nat standing in the apartment._

_"Nat!" I yelled as I scrambled out from under the bed and into her arms. She pushed me away from her and looked at me._

_"How dare you do this to your family?" she shouted as she held my wrists tightly._

_"What? Nat, you're hurting me."_

_"I don't care, you are a terrible person who should die with your family!"_

_"Nat, no! Please!" She pushed me back until I was on the edge of the gaping hole. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do anything!" She gave a gentle push and I fell down the hole._

_I surprisingly didn't die and instead lay awake at the bottom of the hole. I could see Nat peering down from the top. "Please Nat! Help me!"_

_All of a sudden, an arm up from beside me and grabbed onto my shirt. Soon, several arms were popping out of the ground and were grabbing a hold of me, pulling me down under the rubble of the building._

_"You are a disgrace," I heard my mother mumble in my ear. I turned my head and saw my entire family standing there, covered in blood and dust. "This is what you get for replacing us with Natasha," mother spit out._

_"Help me!" I cried to them, trying to crawl my way to them._

_They all smirked and waved at me as I got dragged under the rubble screaming._

I shot up in bed with a scream. I was briefly aware of the light turning on next to me and some movement in the bed next to me. I started crying and tried to get out of the blankets, gasping for air. 

"Wanda, calm down!" I heard from next to me but I was too busy trying to get air in my lungs. All I could think of was getting buried under the rubble by all of the corpses' hands. 

I felt a hand on my arm and I whipped around to see what it was, scared to see a dusty, bloody hand. I was pleasantly surprised to see a flesh hand on my arm which was connected to none other than Natasha. 

Instead of throwing myself into her arms to cry, I started clawing at my chest, trying to bring in air. She must've realized what was going on because she quickly climbed out of bed and opened the window, letting the cold air in.

I didn't move from the bed so she came over and picked me up. I clung to her as she brought me to the open window. She sat on the chair in front of the window and leaned out a little bit, allowing my head to be out in the fresh air. She was still holding me, my head resting on her shoulder, as I breathed in the fresh air. Her hand was rubbing soothing circles on my back while I cried. 

I was relieved to see that Nat was offering me comfort and didn't hate me, like Pietro had told me in the dream. She didn't say anything while I tried to regain my composure and for that, I was glad. 

She hummed softly but other than that, no words were spoken between us. I didn't particularly feel like reliving the dream and telling her about it but I knew I should. She always made me feel better but right now, I couldn't bring myself to share my dream with her, instead, focusing solely on my breathing and how nice it felt to be breathing fresh air. 

It took me almost an hour to calm down and even once I had stopped crying, I was still shaking and terrified of sleeping. I was still hugging Nat in front of the open window but it was getting a little chilly. 

"Can we close the window?" I asked timidly from my spot on her shoulder. 

"Of course," she said gently as she turned slightly to reach the window. She closed it and then leaned against it with me, continuing to rub my back. "Are you okay?" she asked me calmly. 

I shrugged. I wasn't crying anymore but I definitely wasn't okay, I couldn't get the dream out of my head. 

"Do you want to move back to the bed?" I nodded so Nat stood up with me in her arms and moved over to the bed. Once we got there, she tried to set me down but I held onto her tightly. "Honey, if you want to get back in bed, I'm going to need you to let go for a second," she informed me quietly. 

I was embarrassed by my need to stay with her but I was honestly terrified that if I let go of her, she would never let me hug her again. It was only the dream talking but it was a real fear. 

She must've realized that I wasn't going to let go because she sighed softly as she sat down on the bed, shifting me to sit in her lap. I had yet to look at her, the side of my head resting on her shoulder, facing away from her. She scooted herself until her back was against the headboard of the bed. 

"Can you talk to me sweetheart?" she asked me gently.

"I don't think I can," I mumbled to her. I wasn't ready to talk through my dream with her. 

"We don't have to talk about your dream, we can talk about whatever you want. Do you need anything?"

"Do you love me?" I asked as I finally turned my head to face her.

She looked surprised but responded smoothly with, "Of course baby, I love you so much." I gripped onto her tighter after hearing that, trying to force Pietro's words out of my head. I knew that his words were just the cause of my brain making things up in the dream but they still hurt. 

"Am I a burden?" I asked after remembering something else that Pietro told me. 

"No baby, you are most definitely _not_ a burden. I love having you around so much! Life without you would be terrible." I felt my chest loosen a bit at these words but I still wasn't ready to sleep. 

Then came the million dollar question, "Are you ready to talk about your nightmare?"

I started to panic again but I tried to keep my breathing under control to the best of my abilities. I was still laying on Nat's chest but I had to pull away so that I could breathe better. 

"You don't have to just yet honey," she told me quickly, trying to ease my panic. She continued to rub my back even though I was no longer being held by her. 

"I've gotta go," I said as I stumbled out of the bed. 

"Wanda, it's 3 o'clock honey, come back to bed. You're okay."

I didn't listen and instead mumbled, "I've gotta go to the gym," as I walked out the door, Natasha following. I got all the way to the gym and walked to the corner with the supply closet. I ran into the room and shut the door, locking it so that Nat couldn't come in. 

"Wanda," I heard from outside the door. "Can you please open the door? I just want to talk to you."

"No," I mumbled as I sat with my back against the wall. It was dark in the closet and I couldn't find the light switch so I made a small ball of red energy come out from my hands to use as a light source. 

"Okay, well can I sit here and talk to you?" she asked. I didn't respond but she started talking anyways. "Steve and I were thinking of upping your training a little bit. Maybe do some more power control? It's up to you but if you want, maybe we can work on it a little bit later?"

I knew what she was doing, she was trying to distract me. To be honest, it was working. "Okay," I said quietly. "That sounds good."

"Great! We will still start off a little easier but we can work our way up until you are ready for the field, okay?" 

"Okay." For the next two hours or so, Nat told me stories of missions, when she first met Cooper, hanging out with the Avengers, and anything else she could think of. 

It was nearing 4:45 when she asked me to open the door again. "Wanda, do you want to go on a run with Steve and me?"

I was kind of surprised that she was willing to let me tag along. "Sure," I said. "Don't you leave at 6?" I asked her.

"Usually we do, yes."

"Well it's way too early to go then," I said before I opened the door. I still thought that it was still close to 3 in the morning. 

"Well we're going to leave at 5 this morning because we want to try a new trail, it's already 4:45." I was shocked. I had woken up from the nightmare at around 1:30, over three hours ago! 

I stood up and opened the door, seeing Nat sitting right next to it. She stood up as I walked out and she pulled me into a quick hug which I melted into. 

"Alright, why don't we quickly go get dressed and then we can go?" she suggested as we went back up to my room. 

I grabbed a light long-sleeve shirt and leggings and went into the bathroom to get changed. It was still pretty chilly outside since it was so early in the morning so hopefully Nat wouldn't be suspicious of the long sleeves. 

I snapped the band on my wrist a few times, trying to stay quiet, before I exited the bathroom. "You ready?" Nat asked me as she glanced at my outfit. 

"Yup," I said and I followed her downstairs where we met Steve. 

"Good morning ladies," Steve said as we left the compound and got in the car. 

"I thought we were going for a run?" I asked as I climbed in the backseat.

"We are, we are going to an area that's a little far though so we are taking a car to get there," Nat told me as Steve and her got in the front seat. I nodded as we took off, heading to the place where we were going to run. 

NATASHA POV:

I woke up when I felt Wanda start moving. She started whimpering and I saw that she had tears streaming down her face. I gently moved her so that she was lying next to me on the bed instead of having her head on my chest. I grunted as I turned over, my back tensing and spasming. I quickly remembered about being thrown into a wall. I cracked my back and rubbed it a bit while I tried to wake Wanda up. 

She started to thrash around a little more but there were still no powers coming out of her hands. I shook her gently but nothing was working. 

Her thrashing became increasingly more intense and her breathing started to get ragged. She was whimpering and mumbling things. "Pietro, mother, papa," I heard their names over and over again as she wrapped herself up in the comforter. 

"Wanda," I said as I shook her harder. Then she screamed. It was a high pitched scream laced with terror as she shot up in the bed, still stuck in the comforter. I quickly moved to turn on the lamp and then moved back towards her, trying to get her to calm down. 

I heard her sobs start while turning on the light so I placed a hand on her arm and she whipped around with a terrified look on her face. She seemed to calm down slightly and I expected her to jump into my arms so I was surprised when she just looked at me as she started clawing at her chest. She couldn't breathe!

I quickly got out of bed and ran to the window, letting the fresh air in. I wanted her to follow me but I turned around and saw her panicking in the bed. I went to her and picked her up, bringing her to the open window. I felt her chest start moving up and down quickly, greedily breathing in the cold night's air. I sat down and let her rest, her head laying on my shoulder. 

I hummed a Russian lullaby to calm her down because I didn't think talking was going to help at this moment. I rubbed her back but didn't say anything, just waiting for her to calm down. 

It took her awhile but soon, Wanda's breathing had gone back to normal and she was starting to stop crying. "Can we close the window?" she asked me quietly and I immediately turned to close it. 

"Are you okay?" I asked her as she still hadn't tried to move from my hold. All she did was shrug. "Do you want to go back to the bed?" I asked her and she nodded so I walked back to the bed.

I tried to set her down but I soon realized that she wasn't going to let me go so after I tried to convince her to let me go, I gave up and moved onto the bed, leaning against the headboard. 

We had a quick conversation with me trying to convince her to open up to me so I was surprised when I heard her next question. "Do you love me?"

"Of course baby, I love you so much," I told her, trying to hide my surprise from the question. I felt her grip onto me tighter so I pulled her closer and rubbed her back. 

"Am I a burden?" Where were these questions coming from? I pretty much knew that something from her nightmare brought these questions on but did she really think these things?

"No baby, you are most definitely _not_ a burden. I love having you around so much! Life without you would be terrible," I had to bite my tongue to prevent me from asking What? or Why? knowing that it would only upset her. I just had to do my best to reassure her that she wasn't a burden and that she was loved very much. I tried again to get her to tell me about her nightmare but this time, she just pushed me away and tried to leave the room. 

She mumbled something about the gym as she left the room, I followed her but didn't try to stop her. 

She walked all the way to the gym and when we entered, she walked towards the back corner. Before I could realize what she was doing, she had run into the supply closet and shut the door. I heard the lock and I knew that she didn't want me to follow her. I could've easily opened the door but I knew that I needed to give her this, I couldn't just force myself to be near her, no matter how much I wanted to. 

After she told me that she wasn't going to open the door, I started talking to her about training. Steve and I had talked a little bit about increasing her training. She was getting stronger and I couldn't keep her moving bean bags for too much longer. I mentioned her going into the field but I still wasn't going to allow her to fight with us. 

I told her about some missions I had been on, special moments with the avengers, meeting Clint's kids, and anything else I could think of to try to coax her out of the room.

She eventually opened the door after I mentioned going on a run with Steve and we went back to our room to get changed. Steve and I had been going on runs since I got back, and we had found a place that was further than our normal run, but had beautiful views. 

I texted him while Wanda was getting changed, letting him know that Wanda was coming with and that we would be taking a car. If it was just Steve and I, we would have hiked up to the running spot but I didn't want Wanda to get too tired, so we would take the car. Our excuse would be that the spot was just too far from the compound to walk. 

Wanda and I met Steve downstairs as we climbed into the car. I was going to sit with Wanda but I wanted her to feel normal, not like she needed someone to watch her and be with her every waking moment so I got in the front seat with Steve instead. Wanda questioned us as to why we were using a car but we quickly gave her the planned excuse and took off. 

We quickly arrived at the running trail and we climbed out of the car. We stretched a bit before we started jogging. Steve and I were going to take it easy since we had Wanda with us. 

Wanda seemed to keep up with us well so we ran a little quicker. She continued to keep our pace but we didn't want to go any faster so we went with a light run. No one talked during the run, instead we all just enjoyed the scenery. We were running through a park type place with lots of trees and other plants. There was a lake next to us so we ran near that, watching the ducks floating around. 

We had just finished the trail when Wanda stumbled next to me. I turned to look at her and saw that she was still running but she had a look of pain on her face. 

"You okay?" I asked. 

"Yeah," she panted out as we continued running. I slowed down a bit but that just made Wanda run faster so I continued to run at my earlier pace. 

We finished the trail and ended up back to the car. Wanda was limping slightly as we started walking to the car. 

"What happened?" I asked her. 

"Nothing," she snapped as she climbed in the car. I looked to Steve but he just shrugged as we got in the car. 

"How about we go out for breakfast?" Steve offered as he started driving back to the compound. 

"Sounds good to me, what do you think Wanda?" I asked, turning to look at her. She nodded so we ended up at a pancake house near the compound. 

Wanda continued to limp as we got in the restaurant and seemed relieved when we finally sat down. The limp was barely noticeable but I noticed it.

We quickly ate and then headed back to the house. I watched Wanda as we went back into the house and was upset to see that the limp was still there and it was getting worse. 

When we got to our bedroom, I spun Wanda around, making her fall on the bed. 

"What are you doing?" she questioned angrily as I started to pull off her shoe. 

I rolled up her leggings slightly to see that her ankle was about twice the size as it normally was. "Oh my gosh! What happened?" I asked as I turned her ankle around gently, looking it over. 

"I tripped," she mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"Did you trip during the last lap? Don't be sorry honey," I told her. She nodded to me and I was slightly upset that she had run an entire lap even after she hurt herself. "Why didn't you tell us to stop?" I asked her.

"I didn't want to worry you or ruin your run," she told me quietly. 

"You wouldn't have ruined our run. Well let's go get some ice on this and then maybe we can have Tony look at it."

"It's just a sprain," she told me. 

"Hmm, maybe. Let's see if the ice makes some of the swelling go down," I said as I helped her up. She insisted on walking herself so I watched as she walked all the way to the kitchen. I really wanted to carry her so that she wasn't putting any weight on it but I needed to give her independence. 

I tossed her an ice pack once we got to the kitchen, watching as she wrapped it around her ankle. 

I asked FRIDAY to ask Tony to come look at Wanda's ankle. Wanda told me that it was just a sprain so I told her that Tony was just going to confirm that for me. 

"What's up with the little witch?" Tony asked as he walked in, ruffling Wanda's hair. She quietly smoothed it back down and then went back to icing her ankle. 

"She tripped on the last leg of our run but instead of telling anyone, she continued running. Now it's huge," I told him, glancing over at Wanda, expecting to see her rolling her eyes. I was surprised when she just stayed with her eyes down, watching her ankle. 

"Alright," Tony huffed. "Let me have a look." He gently lifted Wanda's leg to examine her ankle. "Can you scan Wanda's ankle for me baby girl?" Tony asked FRIDAY. 

"Of course sir," she replied. "It appears that she has a fractured ankle. Recommended treatment is ice and to prevent weight bearing for the next few weeks."

"You heard her, we'll get you fitted for a boot because apparently it's not bad enough for a cast. Until then, you are to stay off of it," Tony told her in a mock-stern tone. Wanda was silent, just nodding. I expected her to throw a fit over being placed in the boot. Apparently last night had more emotional damage than I thought. 

"Wanda, how did you run an entire lap with a fractured ankle?" I asked her. She just shrugged. Wow, this girl was stronger than I thought. She continued to prove this time and time again and it amazed me more and more each time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!!
> 
> I tried to show some more Nat and Wanda bonding in this chapter. I know a few of you are asking about the whole rubber-band thing and I promise, Nat will become aware of that soon!! I just have to find somewhere to add it in without adding too many other things. I don't want the story to seem rushed!
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! If you want to see anything included, let me know!! I love reading all of your comments so thank you to everyone who has left one on any of my chapters!!! Also thank you to anyone who is reading, liking or interacting with my story in any way! I appreciate it!
> 
> The next chapter should be out by this weekend!! Hope you all have a great week!!


	4. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda deals with the aftermath of her fractured ankle and the Avengers go on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hope you are all doing well!!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder, anxiety/panic, injuries. Be safe! :)
> 
> I know I said this chapter would be out this weekend but I got busy and had like no time. Sorry!!!! I made this chapter a bit longer to make up for it! :) This chapter has scenes that were requested from Dark17_Angel. Thank you!!!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

WANDA POV:

I was enjoying running with Steve and Nat when all of a sudden, I tripped. I felt my ankle pop and then crack but I quickly pushed off of my bad foot to keep running. Nat looked at me and asked if I was okay. It hurt like a son of a bitch but I didn't want to ruin Nat and Steve's running trip so I sucked it up and told her it was fine as I kept up with them. 

Nat slowed down next to me but I pushed harder to show her that I was fine. I did not need her babying me because I tripped. 

Luckily we were almost done with the run when I hurt my ankle because my ankle was throbbing by the time we got to the car. Nat asked me if something happened but I told her nothing happened as I got in the car. I didn't need her worrying about me. 

Steve suggested going out to breakfast and Nat agreed so pretty soon, we pulled up to a pancake house. My ankle hurt even worse when I got out of the car but I tried to walk as normally as possible to hide it from Nat. 

I ate without even thinking about the food because I was so focused on the pain in my ankle. It felt tight and hot and it was just getting worse. Maybe running on it for another 5 minutes wasn't such a good idea. 

I was glad when we finally got home so that I could get off of my ankle for a few minutes. Maybe even ice it and take a tylenol to ease the pain. 

I went to my room but Nat followed me and grabbed my arm, making me lose my balance and fall on the bed. "What are you doing?" I asked as soon as she started to pull off my shoe. I was 16 which meant that I was very capable of removing my shoes. She quickly got my shoe off and rolled up my leggings, revealing my extremely swollen ankle. 

"Oh my gosh! What happened?" she asked, surprised as she turned my ankle slightly. 

"I tripped. I'm sorry," I mumbled. 

"Did you trip during the last lap? Don't be sorry honey." I just nodded. "Why didn't you tell us to stop?" she asked me.

"I didn't want to worry you or ruin your run," I told her, not meeting her eyes. I didn't want her to get mad at me for ruining her run, that's why I didn't tell her. 

"You wouldn't have ruined our run. Well let's go get some ice on this and then maybe we can have Tony look at it."

"It's just a sprain," I insisted. I knew it was probably a break from the crack that I heard when I tripped but I didn't want them to worry about me. 

Nat apparently didn't believe me because she said, "Hmm, maybe. Let's see if the ice makes some of the swelling go down." She tried to help me walk out of the room but I shrugged her off as I walked to the kitchen. Nat followed me closely the entire time but I wasn't going to let her help me, no matter how bad it hurt. 

She tossed me an ice pack once we got to the kitchen and I wrapped it around my painful ankle as I sat down. 

"FRIDAY, can you ask Tony to come here really quick?" I heard Nat ask and I rolled my eyes.

"It's just a sprain," I moaned. 

"Well then you should have no problem having Tony confirm that for us," she told me with a raised eyebrow and I just huffed, knowing I wasn't going to win this argument. 

Tony waltzed in and ruined my hair. "What's up with the little witch?" I chose to stay silent as I fixed my hair and then continued icing my ankle. I listened as Nat explained what had happened to me during the run and Tony started to look at my ankle. Then he asked FRIDAY to x-ray it and I knew they were going to figure it out. 

"It appears that she has a fractured ankle. Recommended treatment is ice and to prevent weight bearing for the next few weeks." Few weeks?! I couldn't last a few _weeks_ without walking on my ankle! I had training! 

"You heard her," Tony started, "we'll get her fitted for a boot because apparently it's not bad enough for a cast. Until then, you are to stay off of it." Tony told me and I just nodded, not willing to start an argument over this. I was exhausted from last night and didn't feel up to fighting. 

Tony left the room, mumbling something about getting a boot for my ankle. As soon as he left, Nat turned to look at me. "Wanda, how did you run an entire lap with a fractured ankle?" I shrugged. It honestly wasn't that bad, it was really painful but it wasn't the worst thing I had ever felt. Several years of experimentation by Hydra really ups your pain tolerance. 

"Alright, well since you can't walk or put weight on your foot, do you want to watch a movie?" Nat suggested. I had a feeling that she wanted to try to get me to sleep since I had fallen asleep almost every time that we watched a movie after a draining night but I didn't know how I felt about that. I wanted to sleep so that I wasn't so tired but I also didn't want to suffer from a nightmare again. 

Last night had been terrible, I don't know if I'm ready to relive it. I must've waited too long to respond because I heard Nat clear her throat. "Did you hear me?" she asked gently. 

"Oh, um, yeah, sorry. Yeah, I guess, a movie sounds good," I told her.

I followed Nat to the living room and sat down on the couch while she grabbed a blanket. She came and sat next to me so that I could lean against her. We started watching a movie but I could barely pay attention due to how tired I was. Running really took a lot of energy out of you, especially if you barely slept the night before. 

I fell asleep with Natasha's fingers carding through my hair. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I woke up to see that the TV had been turned off. I was laying on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, my head resting on a pillow. I pushed myself up to see that Nat was not in the living room. 

I walked to our room, despite being told to stay off of my ankle. No Nat. The kitchen, no Nat. The lab, no Nat. The gym, no Nat. Where was she? "FRIDAY? Where's Nat?" I asked. 

"Ms. Romanoff is currently not in the building," she informed me. Did she go outside?

"Do you know where she went?"

"She got called on a mission with the rest of the Avengers." Why didn't they wake me up? I was supposed to help them with missions.

I started to panic a little bit when I thought of being left in the compound by myself. What mission did they get called to do and why didn't they ask me to come? I felt anger and a little bit of sadness when I thought of them leaving without me. I was capable of fighting, I thought I showed them that in Sokovia. 

As I was walking back to the living room, I ran into Pepper. 

"Where were you?" she asked me. 

"I was looking for Nat, I didn't know you were here," I pushed past her to get to the couch. 

"You aren't supposed to be walking on your leg," Pepper told me sternly. 

"Yeah? Well who's here to stop me?" I questioned angrily as I threw myself onto the couch. 

Pepper decided not to comment on my sarcastic question but instead said, "They should be back soon. Nat didn't want to leave you but she needed to leave quickly to help them."

"Why didn't they bring me?" 

"You fractured your ankle, I don't think you would be much help." I rolled my eyes as I turned away from Pepper. I was fine, it was just a fracture! It wasn't even a full break! 

"I'm going to go grab you some ice. Don't move," Pepper told me sternly as she left. I just pulled my ankle up next to me to gently rub it. Walking around had aggravated it a little bit. 

I quickly dropped my ankle back to the floor when Pepper walked in, I didn't want to show her that it was hurting. She handed me an ice pack. I set it next to me on the couch while I stared out the window. 

"Put the ice on your ankle please," Pepper told me. I ignored her, I was mad that I wasn't allowed to go on the mission. "Wanda," she warned. 

"What?" I hissed, my voice laced with venom. 

"I need you to put the ice on your ankle since you were walking around."

"It's not like I ran a marathon," I snapped. 

"I know, but ice will help with the swelling and make it feel better," Pepper was gentle with me but still had a stern edge to her tone. I huffed but picked up the ice and wrapped it around my ankle. I didn't need Pepper tattling to Nat about my disrespectfulness. "Thank you," she said as she sat on the couch next to me. "Do you want to do something?" she asked me. 

"Yes, I want to go on the mission with them."

"Wanda, you hurt your ankle. Maybe next time," she told me sympathetically. 

"My ankle is fine," I grit out. "I could've at least gone with them to help in case they need it," I tried to reason. 

"They'll be fine. They should be home soon, it was just a quick mission."

"What did they have to do?"

"I don't know the details, all I know is that it's supposed to be fast. Nat called me to watch you, telling me that she should be back later this afternoon."

"I don't need a babysitter," I huffed.

"You do. You would've just kept walking on that ankle if I wasn't here to stop you," Pepper told me smugly and I glared at her. 

"My ankle is fine-"

"Stop," Pepper held a hand up to stop me. "Your ankle is not fine, FRIDAY already confirmed that. The sooner you accept that and let your ankle heal, the sooner you can get up and walk around, but until then, you need to stay off of it." 

"What if I have to go to the bathroom?" I challenged. 

"You can use crutches, but you better not put that ankle on the ground." 

"I don't have crutches," I scoffed. 

"Well I can go grab you a pair from the med-bay. If I find out you moved from this couch, I will tie you down," she said as she left the living room. 

Even though Pepper told me that in a teasing tone, it did nothing to ease the oncoming panic. Tie me down? Nat said she would never use restraints on me again but she probably didn't tell Pepper that! If I tried to tell her, she probably wouldn't believe me. I couldn't be restrained again! 

I felt my thoughts spiral as my breathing picked up. The room started to feel smaller and my chest felt tighter. I wanted Nat to tell me that she wouldn't restrain me. 

I was so busy panicking that I didn't hear Pepper re-enter the room. 

"Wanda?" I heard faintly before I felt arms wrap around me. Lavender, not vanilla or flowers like Nat. "What's wrong sweetie?" I heard the familiar voice ask. It was Pepper. 

"Restraints," I managed to choke out before I started crying. 

"What?" I didn't answer as I cried into her shoulder. Pepper gently rocked me as I cried. I wasn't crying hard but I was panicking. "Honey, calm down. Deep breaths. It's okay," I heard Pepper tell me. 

I was glad that Pepper was there but I really wanted Nat. Pepper still managed to calm me down and I pulled away embarrassed. "Sorry," I mumbled as I wiped away the remaining tears on my cheeks. 

"It's okay honey. Are you okay? What happened?" she asked me. 

"I'm fine. Nothing, really, it's stupid." 

"It's not stupid if it made you upset," she told me but I still didn't want to tell her. 

"You don't have to tell me, but you can if you want, okay?" I nodded. "Alright, are you hungry? It's lunch time." I wasn't really hungry so I shook my head. "How about you try to eat something small?" I shrugged but Pepper got up to go to the kitchen so I grabbed the crutches and followed her. 

I ate a piece of bread with some applesauce. I couldn't stomach anything else but Pepper seemed satisfied so she let me go to my room after I finished that. 

I read for a few hours and then I folded some laundry from when we went to the farm. By the time I finished everything, it was already 5 o'clock. I thought everyone was supposed to be back by this afternoon? It was edging into the evening now. 

I grabbed my crutches and set out to find Pepper. I found her in the kitchen, making dinner. She kept checking her phone that was next to her on the counter. I tried to stay unnoticed but the sound of my crutches gave me away. 

"Hey!" she said with what sounded like fake cheer as she paused in cutting potatoes to look at me. 

"Hi, where is everyone? I thought the mission was only supposed to take a few hours?" 

"They should be here any minute," she said that as she glanced at her phone again. 

"What's going on?" I asked her. "Where are they?" 

Pepper seemed to have an internal battle with herself before she sighed as she gave me an answer, "They were supposed to notify me if the mission was going to take longer than expected but I still haven't heard anything. This could just mean that they are headed back right now but I'm not sure. Sometimes their missions go over the expected time so don't worry."

"What time were they _supposed_ to be back?"

"2." It was already after 5. Three hours had gone by without any notifications from them. I know that a mission can go well over 3 hours longer than expected but they are supposed to let us know. 

"What are we going to do?" I asked. 

"Wait. We don't know where they are. They are fine, they'll be here soon," she told me. 

"We can't just wait Pep! We have to go find them, what if they're hurt?'

"I bet they're fine. If we don't hear anything by tomorrow morning, then we will contact SHIELD and find them."

"Tomorrow morning? That's way too long! Someone could be dying!" 

"Okay, we'll eat dinner and then if we don't hear anything by 9 p.m. we will contact SHIELD. Better?"

"I guess," I huffed. I felt a little better knowing that we would contact someone in a few hours if we don't hear anything but I still wanted something to be done immediately. 

Dinner felt like it took _forever_. Pepper made chicken with fried potatoes and a large salad. I didn't have an appetite with worry over what was going on with Nat and the rest of the team. 

Pepper tried to get me to calm down a little bit by putting on a movie but I was still anxious. 

We got about halfway through the movie when I heard the jet landing outside. I jumped up, grabbed my crutches, and rushed outside with Pepper following me. 

Tony left the jet first, closely followed by a gurney. My stomach dropped and I felt bile rise in my throat. Who was it? 

Steve and Rhodey were pushing the gurney so that ruled them out. They were running as they pushed it. As they passed me, I saw the unmistakable bright red hair on the gurney. 

I leaned over and threw up on the lawn, my entire dinner coming up. I immediately took off, following the gurney. What happened to her? Where were they taking her? Was she still alive? That thought brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't lose another person who I loved. 

I got into the compound with tears streaming down my face. "FRIDAY? Where did they take Nat?" I asked, trying to hold back the sobs. 

"They took Ms. Romanoff to the med-bay," she told me almost apologetically and I immediately crutched my way to the med-bay. 

I went down the hall, looking in the rooms, trying to find which room she was in. All of the rooms were empty. I let out a strangled scream as I tried not to fall to the floor. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Steve standing there. "Where's Tasha?" I choked out. He looked at me sympathetically. "Please Steve, where is she?" I was crying at this point. 

"She's okay." Those words caused a wave of relief to rush over me but I was still incredibly worried. 

"Where is she?" I screamed. My legs buckled and the crutches slipped out from under me as I started to fall. Steve was quick in grabbing my and lifting me up into his arms. "Steve, where's Nat?" I cried. 

"Shh, shh," he said as he bounced me slightly. It made me feel like a baby but I honestly didn't care, I wanted Nat. 

He carried me into the 'waiting room' part of the med-bay. Pepper was there along with Vision and Rhodey. Tony was not in the room which meant that he was probably with Nat. I didn't know where Bruce, Thor, or Sam were but none of them have lived with us recently so there was a chance that they didn't go on the mission. 

Steve sat down in a chair with me. Normally, I would be embarrassed that I was sitting in Steve's lap but at this point, I couldn't care less, I just wanted Nat. 

"What happened?" I asked, absolutely distraught. 

"There was a slight surprise during the mission," Steve started. "We were told that it was supposed to be a quick, easy, in-and-out mission so we only took the five of us. It started easy but by the time we broke into the warehouse, there were way more people than expected and we were quickly outnumbered. We held them off for a few hours but more and more of them started filing into the room. We were all able to communicate through the comms but it took us a few minutes to realize that we hadn't heard from Nat in awhile. Once we realized, we immediately started trying to connect to her. We were there to stop a shipment of weapons but that became second priority once Nat was missing. Tony found her in one of the back rooms of the warehouse, bloody and unconscious. We aren't exactly sure what happened but she needs surgery. So far, we know that she has a few broken ribs, some internal bleeding, a lot of cuts and bruises, and a possible concussion. All of this is manageable and she should make a full recovery. We are flying Helen Cho in, she's the best of the best. We tried to find Bruce but he is still MIA. I'm sorry Wanda." I had silent tears streaming down my face throughout his entire summary but I immediately burst into sobs as soon as he finished. 

If I had gone, I might have been able to save her. Steve just pulled me into a hug while he rubbed large circles on my back. "I want Tasha!" I cried into his shoulder. "Please Steve! I want Nat!" He whispered reassurances to me. I was normally better at controlling my emotions but all I could see was Nat's fiery hair laying on the gurney, her broken body being led into the compound. I was also still tired so my emotions were all over the place. 

Steve passed me to Pepper after a few hours had passed. I had finished sobbing but I was still crying as I was placed on Pepper's chest. I just laid my head down as tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes. I wanted Nat so bad. 

It got late quick and soon, it was midnight and we still hadn't heard anything about Nat. The last thing we heard was that Helen had arrived. Pepper tried to get me to sleep but I told her I couldn't without Nat. 

"Try to sleep baby," Pepper told me as she rubbed my back. "We'll wake you up the second we hear something about Nat, okay? I promise."

"I can't sleep," I told her numbly. 

"Nat would want you to sleep, not sit here and worry about her. You need your rest hon, just close your eyes and try to rest." I tried to pull away but Pepper placed a gentle hand on the back of my head and gently guided it back to her shoulder. "Sleep baby. If you can't sleep here you can go back to your room," Pepper offered.

We were still in the waiting room but there was no way that I was going to go back to my room to sleep. "No!" I cried as I held closer to Pepper. I didn't want to go to my room, it was way too far from the med-bay. 

"Okay, you don't have to baby. It was just a suggestion," Pepper rocked me slightly in her arms, trying to make me fall asleep. I'm embarrassed to say that it was working as I felt my eyelids growing heavier. 

I tried to fight the sleep but I could no longer hold my eyes open as I fell into a dark world. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I jerked awake after having a dream that Nat died. Tears immediately sprung to my eyes as I heard Tony's voice tell me that Nat died. Pepper was still holding me and the rest of the team was in the waiting room. 

Pepper immediately started hushing me and rocking me after I woke up, probably assuming that I had had a nightmare. 

"How's Nat?" I asked through my tears, almost scared to ask. 

Steve answered, "We're not sure yet. We haven't heard anything."

"Nothing?" My voice cracked as I asked this. 

"Not yet sweetie," Pepper responded. "We would ask but we don't want to distract them if they are helping Nat." I just gripped onto Pepper's shirt as I continued to cry. I was so done with this day. 

I laid there for a few more minutes before I heard a female voice clear their throat behind me. I lifted myself off of Pepper and whipped around, turning to see who I assumed was Helen Cho standing in the doorway. 

Steve and Rhodey stood up as they walked closer to Helen. I scrambled to grab my crutches and get off of Pepper. I almost fell over when I stood up but Pepper and the crutches helped steady me. 

"How is she?" I blurted out as soon as I was standing. 

"She'll make a full recovery," Helen said and I almost cried in relief but I was out of tears. "The surgery was successful, we stopped the internal bleeding and reset some of her bones. One of her broken ribs punctured a lung but it was small so we were able to patch that up quickly. She has a concussion but we don't believe that there will be any lasting effects or brain damage. She'll need to rest the next couple of weeks but she will be okay. She is breathing on her own but is still unconscious from the surgery. She should be up within the next few hours."

I smiled my first real smile in several weeks. I was still exhausted but I was beyond happy that Nat would be okay. All of the things that Nat suffered from sounded scary but I was ready to be with her for her recovery. 

"Can I see her?" I asked. 

"Of course," Helen responded as she started to lead me to one of the back rooms. I saw Nat laying in one of the beds, unconscious but alive. It took all of my strength not to jump into her arms. "I'll let you guys be," Helen said as she left the room. I crutched up to her bed and collapsed into one of the chairs next to her, carefully grabbing one of her hands. 

Steve, Pepper, Vision and Rhodey filed into the room where they sat on the couch behind me. Tony walked in a few minutes later and pulled up a chair to sit on the other side of Nat. 

Vision and Rhodey left quickly after seeing Nat, leaving Pepper, Steve, Tony and me in the room. "Are you okay little witch?" Tony asked me from his spot in the room. 

I lifted my head off of the bed and looked at him. "Why didn't you bring me?" I asked, not mad, just curious.

"We thought it would be fast and with your ankle, we didn't want you to hurt yourself more going on a mission." He seemed to be leaving something out but I didn't particularly care at this point, now that I had Nat. 

"Get some sleep Wanda," Steve said from behind me. 

"I wanna make sure Nat's okay," I whined. 

"She's fine, look, she's right there," Steve said. "We'll wake you if she wakes up before you okay?" I nodded but still didn't try to sleep. 

I heard movement behind me and felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Pepper. "Will you sleep if you're with Nat?" she asked and I looked at her confused. "I bet she'll wake up faster if you're next to her," she hinted. 

I very carefully lifted myself out of the chair and crawled into bed next to Nat, laying my head on her shoulder, careful not to pull on any of the tubes or wires monitoring her. 

I immediately felt safer as I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, gripping Nat's gown in my hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> I know that the request was to just have Nat get a little hurt but I got carried away. She'll be fine though!!! As always, feedback is appreciated. If you would like to see something included in the story, let me know! (scenes, relationships, etc.) I love you all and thank you so much for all of the love you are giving this story!
> 
> Also, this entire chapter was in Wanda's POV but I'll make sure to include Nat's in the next one! :)
> 
> Hope you all have a great week!


	5. Separation Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha wakes up but Wanda is suffering from being away from her. She doesn't know it yet but she is quickly developing separation anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! Hope you are all doing well!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety/depression, panic, eating disorder. Be safe! :)
> 
> I got this chapter out a little faster this time! Yay!! This chapter is pretty long (over 4,000 words) but lately, a lot of my chapters are that long. Let me know if you guys are okay with this length or if you would prefer shorter chapters. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

NATASHA POV:

Wanda had fallen asleep while we were watching the movie so I just sat there as I let her rest. I sat with her for about half an hour before Steve ran into the living room. 

"Natasha!" he shouted and I quickly motioned for him to be quiet when Wanda moved slightly. "Sorry," he dropped his volume. "There's a mission, a shipment of weapons is getting ready to be sent out. We've got to go stop it, let's go." 

I nodded and quickly but carefully shifted Wanda onto the couch instead of my shoulder. I wrapped her in a blanket and ran to my room to suit up. While I got changed, I called Pepper. 

"Hello?" she answered on the second ring. 

"Pepper, can you get to the compound in the next five minutes?"

"Um, yeah. Why?" I heard heavy breathing on the other end which meant that Pepper was running. She usually stayed at the compound with Tony but she had been working on stuff for SI so she wasn't currently there. Luckily, she was close by though. 

"We got called on a mission but I need someone to watch Wanda."

"Why aren't you taking her with you?"

"She's too young, besides, she's sleeping right now and she fractured her ankle. She needs to stay off of it." I got a text with the mission details as I finished getting dressed. "It's a quick mission. I should be home in a few hours, 2 o'clock this afternoon at the latest. I'll let you know if it will go over that time. Make sure Wanda stays off her ankle and have her ice it if it is still swollen please."

"Okay, I'll be there in three minutes."

"Good, thank you Pep," I told her as I kissed Wanda on the head before running to the jet. 

"No problem, be safe, bye." I said goodbye and hung up as I climbed into the jet. Steve was flying the jet while Vision, Tony and Rhodey were sitting in the back. I finished reading all of the details and deemed it a quick and easy mission. I didn't want to leave Wanda but it should be fast and we needed to get there as soon as possible to stop the shipment. 

We came to what looked like an empty warehouse. 

"Okay, Tony and Rhodey, you guys secure the perimeter and make sure that no one leaves the warehouse," Steve started handing out assignments as we started landing. "Vision, you find the control room and try to shut down their power so that they will not be able to leave throughout the electrical doors. Nat, you're with me, we take out as many men as we can, there should only be 3 dozen based on the report, and then we get to the shipment and lock it into one of the rooms until SHIELD can get here for confirmation. Everyone got it?" We all nodded as we tested our comms. "Any problems, let me know. Alright team, let's get to work." 

The jet landed and we all climbed out, making our way to the entrances of the warehouse. It looked abandoned but I knew that there would be a few men inside. It wasn't that many though so Steve and I should easily be able to take all of them out quickly. 

Steve and I snuck into the back of the warehouse, we wanted to go unnoticed for as long as possible. I rounded the corner of the wall and was immediately met with about 7 men standing there with weapons. I took them all out and continued my journey into the building. 

We quickly got to the main part of the building. It was a large room with high ceilings. There were platforms with railings that surrounded the walls of the building. It was empty until we got to one of the many separate rooms on the side. The room was filled with about a dozen men, all studying some kind of report. Steve and I were able to take them out and then an alarm sounded. 

We ran back into the main room and saw dozens of men filing in through the platforms, running down the staircases which led them down to the bottom where Steve and I were standing. 

Our comms lit up with responses from Rhodey and Tony, saying that there were hundreds of men who just arrived in tanks and were now entering the building. 

"I thought you said there were supposed to be 3 dozen!" I yelled into the comms as I fought off three men at once. 

"That's what we thought! Three dozen max!" I heard Steve yell. We had separated in order to fight off more of the men but they kept filing in. "Vision, get to the main room now!" Steve started barking orders to everyone while we quickly got overrun by all the men. There were hundreds of them filling the large room. 

"Tony, can you blow up the tanks?" I heard Steve question as I continued fighting. 

"Working on it!" I heard Tony respond. 

"If you and Rhodey can't stop them from coming on the outside, get in here and help us, it's getting pretty crazy in here!" Steve told Tony and Rhodey as Vision arrived and started blasting the men. 

I was holding my own pretty good but there were a lot of men that were surrounding me from all sides and it was getting a little tiring. Tony and Rhodey soon joined us in the main room but the men just kept coming. I had no idea where they were all coming from but it seemed that some of them weren't just men. A lot of them had metal limbs and faces that looked robotic. 

It looked almost like Ultron but with a more human feel. We knew that there was going to be some alien tech in the weapons but it was supposed to just be all humans who were dealing with it. Now we had no idea what was going on. 

I was distracted for a split second by Tony yelling into the comms. I turned to look at him and quickly tried to get back to fighting once I saw that he was okay but that split second was too long. I felt a pain blossom through the back of my head along with a pinch in my neck and then my vision went black. I tried to say something into the comms but I lost consciousness before I managed to get anything out. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I woke up to a dark, empty room. I was confused until I remembered everything that had happened. How long had I been unconscious? I looked around and saw the door. I got up and started to run out, getting ready to jump back into the fight. Unfortunately, there were men right behind the door who caught me off guard and pulled me back into the room. 

I felt clumsy and didn't know why until I spotted the IV in my hand. I quickly ripped it out but not before I started getting beat up by the five men in the room. They had metal poles that they slammed into my stomach and back over and over again. 

I remembered the comms and tried to speak into it when I realized that it had been taken out of my ear at some point. The men didn't talk as they continued to hit me with the pole. I tried to fight back but whatever they put in my system made me weak and disoriented. 

I managed to kick one of them so they stepped on my leg, causing it to snap and me to scream. They moved the poles up to my head and started hitting as hard as they could. I heard a ringing and then soon it went silent as they continued beating my head and the rest of my body. 

The pain started to disappear and I was faintly aware of all of the men leaving the room as I fell to the floor, slipping back into unconsciousness. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

The next time I woke up, I felt a heavy weight on my shoulder and a warmth on my side. I blearily opened my eyes and turned my head slightly to see a mess of reddish-brown hair next to me, resting on my shoulder. Wanda. Where was I? 

The last thing I remembered, I had been in the warehouse. Was the mission a success? I shifted a bit and saw Pepper and Clint on the couch. Why was Clint here? He was supposed to be with his family. 

"Hey," I said quietly and both of their heads shot up. I also heard a noise on the other side of me and turned to see Tony sitting there, now looking at me. 

Clint was the first one to me. "How are you feeling Nat?" he asked. 

I hurt but I wasn't about to admit it, "Fine. What happened?"

"Well, we don't really know," Tony started. "I found you in the warehouse that we were in, unconscious, during the mission. We have no idea what happened in there but we took you to the compound and flew Helen here." I knew exactly what had happened in that warehouse. Tony continued, "You had to go into surgery. You had internal bleeding, several broken bones, a punctured lung, and a concussion."

"How's Wanda?" I asked, completely unfazed by all of my injuries.

"She's right next to you Tasha," Clint told me gently. 

"I know that," I scoffed. "I meant, how did she take the news?"

"Oh, she's okay. She took it hard but she was glad when she got to see you," Pepper told me. I nodded. 

"How long have I been out?" I asked as my hand came up to gently pat Wanda's head. 

"Just a few hours. It's currently 6:30 in the morning," Tony told me. 

"When did you find me?" 

"We got back to the compound at around 7 which meant that we found you around 6ish?" Tony guessed. I nodded. 

"How long was I in surgery?"

"It took them awhile to fix everything..." I motioned for Tony to continue. "Almost 7 hours," he told me and I sucked in a small breath. So I was a little more damaged than I thought. 

I turned to Clint, "And why are you here and not with your family?"

He looked at me in disbelief, "Um, you needed me so I'm here." 

"I didn't say I needed you," I teased. 

"Tasha, you could've died. We didn't know what had happened to you. I also needed to be here not just for you but for Wanda. If something worse had happened to you, she would've been absolutely broken. We didn't know if you were going to wake up with brain damage or another problem that was going to cause complications and I needed to be here for you and Wanda if that happened." I nodded in understanding. I would never have forgiven myself if I died. I couldn't do that to Wanda. 

I already felt bad enough that I caused Wanda worry for getting beat up. I should've been stronger and fought harder. The atmosphere of the room had gotten heavier since Clint told me that so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Does this mean you guys have to wait on me hand and foot?" No one else laughed but I tried. "Wanda needs to go to her room and get some proper sleep," I told them.

"I tried," Pepper told me. "She refused."

"Who's the adult here?" I joked.

"Nat, she cried on Steve and me for hours when she saw you come off of the jet." I just looked at Pepper. 

"Thank you for taking care of her when I was gone. I really thought it was supposed to be quick, I didn't plan for this to happen," I said, gesturing to the hospital room. The pain was starting to pick up a bit and Wanda laying on my side was causing some pain. I tried to shift out from under her but she started whining so I quickly laid still to keep her asleep. I would gladly be in pain if it meant that Wanda could rest easily. 

"Are you okay?" Tony asked me. "I can get Helen in here for some more meds if you're in pain," he looked at me worriedly as he told me this. 

"I'm fine, just needed to shift a little bit. How'd the mission go? Was it successful?" I tried to switch the subject away from my pain, I didn't want to admit to the stabbing pain in my abdomen. 

"Well more and more men came but we were able to get most of them down. Some of them escaped with some of the weapons so they will probably go try to set up camp somewhere else but for now, they aren't our concern. We were able to get a hold of most of the weapons and stop them from shipping out so it was mostly a success, other than you almost dying." I rolled my eyes but was glad to hear that the mission was mostly successful. 

Wanda shifted which sent a shooting pain through my ribs and I sucked in a breath, signaling to everyone in the room that I was in pain. "What's wrong?" Clint asked concerned. 

"Nothing," I snapped. "I'm fine. Did anyone else get hurt during the mission?" I asked, turning back to face Tony. 

"Nothing serious, some of us got a little bruised but other than that, we're fine."

"Good. Now, when can I get out of here?" 

"Nat, you just had major surgery. Give it at least a few days," Pepper told me. 

"I don't have a few days, Wanda can't be cooped up in here for even longer. I need to look into getting her into a school and out of the compound a little bit, once her ankle heals of course. That reminds me, Pepper, did she stay off of her ankle?"

"She mostly used her crutches," Pepper started, "and don't worry about Wanda. She'll be fine, you both need to heal before anything more happens. I can help you look into schools, is there a specific one that she wants to go to?" 

"No, in fact, she doesn't know that I'm planning on sending her to school. She thinks that she is going to train and become an Avenger but that isn't going to happen, she's way too young. I have to get her tested first to see where she is education wise, she hasn't been to school since she was little."

"I want to be around when you tell the little witch that she's going to school and isn't going to become an Avenger," Tony said excitedly. If Wanda wasn't sleeping on me, I would have slapped him.

Instead, I settled on, "Shut up Tony. She'll take it just fine."

"Oh yeah, of course, my apologies," Tony said sarcastically and I just rolled my eyes. 

"Did she get any sleep when I was gone?" I asked Pepper.

"A little bit, we managed to get her to sleep for a few hours while you were in surgery but she fought against it. Then she fell asleep pretty soon after we saw you so she's been sleeping for another few hours."

I looked at Wanda and felt immense love for her. She was so sweet and I loved that she was finally able to be able to get some sleep, even if it was causing me extra pain. 

There was a knock on the door and I looked up to see Helen walking in. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked me.

"Pretty good given the circumstances," I smiled. She smiled as she started checking my vitals. 

"Can I check the incision site?" Helen asked me and I nodded, I kind of wanted to see what they did to me. Helen pulled my gown up slightly to reveal my abdomen, wrapped in gauze. She carefully peeled the gauze back and I saw several long incisions scattering around my abdomen. They would probably all scar but that was fine. "Sorry, we tried to just use one incision but there was too much damage in too many areas so we had to make a few," Helen told me apologetically. 

"No problem," I told her. Wanda started to stir from being moved around. She quickly sat up when she saw that I was awake. She got off of the bed and looked at me. 

"Nat! You're awake!" 

"Yup," I said, smiling warmly at her. She was smiling right back which filled me with happiness. 

"Are you feeling okay? What happened? Are you in pain? When did you wake up? Wh-"

"Slow down Wands," I told her, laughing slightly. "I'm fine, I got a little hurt during the mission, I'm not in pain," I lied, "and I woke up a few minutes ago." 

"Why didn't you wake me up for the mission?"

"I thought it would be quick and I wanted you to get your sleep, I also didn't want you to hurt your ankle." I left out the part about her not getting to be an Avenger at 16. 

"What happened?"

"There were more men than we expected and I got caught off guard for a split second which allowed them to knock me out. Then they brought me to a room and beat me to make sure that I stayed down." I turned to Helen who was putting my vitals into the computer and asked, "Did you check my blood? They drugged me I think because everything was fuzzy."

"No, we were so worried trying to get blood into you that we didn't worry about testing it. I can take a sample this morning but it might not give me the correct results since we had to give you a blood transfusion. You could've been drugged or it could've just been a concussion."

"There was an IV in my hand and it didn't feel like a concussion. My response time was slow," I explained. 

"So then it was probably a drug of some kind. It may still be in your system so I'll try to test your blood but I'm not sure." Helen pulled out a needle and drew some blood while Wanda kept trying to figure out more details about the mission. 

Her eyes were still red, presumably from crying earlier, and she looked tired, even though she had just slept. 

Helen left as Steve walked in. 

"Hey," I said. 

"How are you feeling?"

"Oh my gosh! Does everyone have to ask me that? I'm fine," I joked.

"Good, do you remember what happened during the mission? We're going to need a statement from you for the mission report."

"Yeah, can we do it later?" I asked. I didn't want to say anything with Wanda in the room and give her brain more things to create nightmares on. He nodded. 

"Are you hungry?" Clint asked. 

"I could eat," I shrugged. "Wanda, you need to eat something." She nodded at me from her place right next to the bed. 

"I'll eat if someone brings me something but I'm not leaving," she told me and I raised an eyebrow. I didn't really mind but she said it so boldly that I was surprised. 

I decided not to comment on Wanda's statement and instead asked, "So, who's getting us food?"

Tony ordered shawarma as we all talked. The shawarma got there and Rhodey and Vision joined us in the room. Everyone was scattered around the hospital room and Wanda was sitting right next to the bed. Her arm rested right next to mine on the bed, touching it. 

WANDA POV:

I woke up and heard Nat's voice. I turned my head and jumped up when I saw that she was awake. "Nat! You're awake!" I smiled widely at her. 

"Yup," she responded with another huge smile. 

I started to ask her a million questions about everything that had gone through my head when I found out that she was hurt. Helen continued to check her over while we talked and then Clint asked about food. Tony ordered the same stuff that I had attempted to eat when I was in the hospital and I informed Nat that I would not leave the hospital room to eat. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow but luckily, she didn't comment. 

The entire team ate the food as we sat in the room. I felt like a baby but I needed to make sure that I was touching Nat, even if it was just our arms. I was so scared I was going to lose her and my brain couldn't get the image of her body on the gurney being brought in so I needed to touch her warm skin to assure myself that she was fine. 

The day went by with most of us just sitting in the room and talking or watching TV. I stayed by Nat's side the entire time and I could feel her growing tense as the time went on. I finally whispered to her, "Are you okay?"

She looked at me and responded with, "I'm just in a little bit of pain, I'm fine." She smiled at me but it seemed forced. 

"We can get you some medication," I pushed. 

"I don't need any, I'm fine, it's just a little uncomfortable." The rest of the team was busy setting up a game that they didn't hear us. 

"Okay, let me know if you need meds," I told her.

"Okay honey, I will," she smiled as we turned our attention back to the team. 

We played a few board games and then Steve spoke up. "Alright, I need to talk to her about the mission so everyone out." He was using his captain voice but I wasn't about to leave Nat. 

I stayed by her side as the rest of the team filed out of the room. "Wanda," Steve warned. "Natasha and I need to talk privately for a few minutes. You can come back as soon as the mission report is done."

"I'm not leaving Nat," I boldly responded, grabbing onto Nat's arm.

"Sweetie, I'll be okay. I just have to give a statement about what happened and then you can come back," Nat told me gently. I didn't understand why everything had to stay so secret. 

"I'll be quiet," I told her.

"I need to talk to her alone. You weren't on the mission so we can't have you listening to details until the mission becomes public knowledge," Steve informed me. I never remembered hearing that rule before. 

"Please," I looked at Nat, tears forming. 

"Just for a few minutes baby." She must've been able to tell that I wasn't going to leave because she signaled Steve to come grab me. "I love you so much honey, I'll see you in a few minutes." Steve grabbed my arm gently and tried to lead me out of the room but I grabbed onto Nat to try to stay. I threw my arms around her shoulders and started crying. I couldn't leave her.

Steve seemed to think that I was fine because he grabbed me around the waist and hoisted me up into his arms, walking me out of the room and to the med-bay lounge where the rest of the team was waiting. I was crying and squirming, trying to get out of Steve's arms and get back to Nat. 

I felt myself getting set down and I tried to run back to Nat's room but someone grabbed me from behind. 

"Nat!" I cried, starting to panic as Steve walked back down the hallway, on his way to Nat's room. The hands turned me and I was met with Clint. "Clint, why won't they let me be with Nat?" I cried and he pulled me into a hug. 

I was starting to panic, thinking of all of the things that could happen to Nat without me. Clint led me over to the couch and sat down, still holding me in a hug as I cried and tried not to have a full-blown panic attack. 

"Shh, Wanda, it's okay. They should be done in a few minutes," Clint told me as he rocked me gently. I felt a desperate need to be by Nat but no one was letting me go be by her right now. 

I cried into Clint for a few minutes until FRIDAY let us know that we could go back to the room. Clint kept a hold of my arm as we walked into the room so that I didn't hurt Nat. 

Once we got to the room, I crawled into the bed and sobbed into Nat's shoulder, gripping onto her gown. "Don't make me leave Nat!" I cried. 

"It's okay baby, I'm sorry we made you leave. You're okay, I've got you." I had no idea that the rest of the team was making worried glances as me but even if I did, I wouldn't have cared as I cried into Nat. 

I didn't know why I panicked so much when I had to leave her but I did and I felt a massive relief now that I was with Nat. I calmed down and slowly pulled away from her, not letting go of her gown but also not sobbing into her. 

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"It's okay baby," she told me as she wiped away some of the tears on my face. I blushed when I realized that the rest of the team had witnessed my meltdown but they didn't say anything as they turned on the TV and got out some uno cards. 

I laid next to Nat as everyone else played uno and then it was time for dinner. We had some leftover shawarma and then popcorn while we watched a movie. 

"Are you gonna make me go to my room to sleep?" I asked Nat after worrying about it for several hours. I don't think I'll be able to sleep if they make me leave. 

"No, you can go if you want or you can sleep in here. Whatever makes you most comfortable," Nat told me and I immediately told her that I wanted to stay. 

I fell asleep next to her with the entire team surrounding us, watching some romantic comedy. I had a family and for now, that was all I could ask for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!!
> 
> Thank you for the requests on the last chapter, I will incorporate those as soon as I can!!! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. If you would like to see anything added or changed in the story, let me know! I'm open to suggestions, whether you want to see a specific scene, you want a relationship to be added, or anything else!! 
> 
> Hope you all have a great weekend! I'll try to get the next chapter out by mid-late next week!


	6. Everything Will Get Better...Eventually

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha continues to heal but Wanda is definitely having some after effects of almost losing her mother figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Brief mention of self harm/suicide, eating disorder, panic, anxiety/depression. Be safe! :)
> 
> After reading all of the comments on the last chapter, it seems that you guys are perfectly fine with the long chapters and would even like if they were a bit longer. I will try my best to make each chapter longer than I normally do but I don't want to let it get in the way of how often I am updating so I will shoot for 5,000 words in each chapter (I will most likely go over that frequently but I'll try to make sure I get at least 5k words before posting) Hopefully that sounds good to everyone!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

NATASHA POV:

Everything was going well with the team until Steve asked to talk to me. I had told him earlier that I didn't want Wanda to hear the briefing because I didn't want her to get nightmares. The mission was also confidential so that wouldn't be a problem. 

"Alright," Steve announced after we finished a round of Scrabble. "I need to talk to her about the mission so everyone out." Everyone but Wanda obediently left the room. Wanda stayed by my side not seeming to even think about moving. "Wanda," Steve warned her gently. "Natasha and I need to talk privately for a few minutes. You can come back as soon as the mission report is done."

"I'm not leaving Nat," she responded confidently as she grabbed my arm. 

"Sweetie, I'll be okay," I told her. "I just have to give a statement about what happened and then you can come back."

"I'll be quiet," she tried to convince us. 

Before I could say anything, Steve was already talking, "I need to talk to her alone. You weren't on the mission so we can't have you listening to details until the mission becomes public knowledge." This was partially true but I know that Steve was also trying to carry out my wishes about the nightmare thing. 

"Please," Wanda breathed out with tears in her eyes.

It broke my heart to make her leave but I said, "Just a few minutes baby." She didn't move at all and instead moved a tiny bit closer to me so I looked at Steve, signaling that he could step in. Steve started to approach her and I said, "I love you so much honey, I'll see you in a few minutes," as Steve grabbed her arm to lead her to the door. 

She fought and pulled out of his grasp, throwing herself into my arms. I gasped as she grabbed me, her body slamming into my abdomen, causing pain to shoot through my stomach and ribs. She was crying into my shoulder as she held onto me. I felt absolutely terrible as Steve picked her up and carried her out while she struggled and cried. My heart broke as she cried for me as she was carried out of the room and down the hallway. 

I knew that the rest of the family would take care of her until she could come back to me but that didn't stop me from feeling like the worst mom ever. _Mom?_ It felt so natural that I barely noticed the word slip into my thoughts. I still thought about it though because although I felt that way, it definitely didn't mean that Wanda felt the same. 

Steve re-entered the room without Wanda. "Where's Wanda?" I asked, wanting to make sure that she was safe. 

"She's with Clint, she'll be fine." Hearing that she was with Clint calmed me down a little bit but I still felt bad. 

"Well let's get this over with," I huffed. Steve asked me questions about what happened, what I could remember, and if there were any specific details that could prove helpful to them. I told him everything I remembered from being knocked out and drugged, to being beat, to losing consciousness again, to waking up in the compound. 

He jotted down important notes from my statement and then had FRIDAY insert the recording of my statement into the mission report. I thought we were done and I was looking forward to getting back to Wanda when Steve turned to me and asked, "How are you? Like really, you don't have to sugar-coat it."

I sighed but answered him truthfully, "I feel like shit. I'll be fine but that doesn't mean that I'm not in pain. I'm sorry I wasn't more helpful during the mission."

"Nat, it wasn't your fault. There were too many of them, we should've brought more assistance but we thought it would be easy. We are still trying to figure out more details about how everything turned out how it did but it was never your fault. I'm sorry I didn't pay more attention and realize you were missing earlier."

"If it's not my fault then it's not your fault," I told him. "Now can we get everyone back in here?" I laughed to lighten the mood. 

"FRIDAY," Steve told the ceiling, "Can you notify everyone that we are done and that they can come in?"

"Of course Mr. Rogers," FRIDAY responded and within a minute, everyone was walking back into the room. 

Clint was holding onto Wanda's arm lightly but let her go once she walked into the room. Wanda still had tears streaming down her face and she looked miserable as she walked to the bed. She very carefully crawled in next to me and buried her head into my shoulder, sobbing. 

"Don't make me leave Nat!" she cried as I stroked her hair, trying to calm her down. 

"It's okay baby, I'm sorry we made you leave. You're okay, I've got you," I told her. Everyone in the room was looking at me with worried expressions and looking at Wanda with pitying or sad expressions. 

"Separation anxiety," Clint mouthed to me and I nodded, holding onto Wanda a little bit tighter.

She calmed down and pulled away while mumbling, "Sorry." 

"It's okay baby," I told her, gently wiping away some of the remaining tears. She turned red as she looked to everyone else in the room but no one said anything so she slowly and carefully laid down next to me. 

Everyone was playing uno but Wanda, she chose to instead watch us play while she laid her head on my shoulder. 

We all watched a movie and ate some food but Wanda still didn't move from my shoulder, only barely shifting to eat. It was getting late when Wanda turned to me. "Are you gonna make me go to my room to sleep?" She looked terrified of my answer so I chose my words carefully. 

"No, you can go if you want or you can sleep in here. Whatever makes you most comfortable." I was going to make her go to her room to sleep earlier because her bed was much more comfortable than the hospital room but after watching her meltdown from earlier, I wasn't sure that going to her room was going to help her to sleep any better. 

"I wanna stay with you," she told me quietly and I told her that was fine as I kissed her temple, pulling her closer to me as the team turned on a movie. 

By the time the movie was over, Wanda was already asleep on my shoulder. "Do you want me to move her?" Clint asked quietly as the team started cleaning up the room before bed. 

"Sure, just to the couch though," I whispered. I knew that if Wanda stayed next to me, I would wake up in a lot more pain. I would gladly do that for her but I knew that I needed to feel fine in order to take care of her and the couch wasn't far. 

Clint carefully lifted her up. She whined as she tried to hold onto me in her sleep but she quickly quieted down when Clint rocked her gently. He walked her across the room and gently set her down on the couch, moving the pillows and blankets to make her comfortable. 

The team all said their good nights as they filed out of the room, all heading up to their own rooms. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Clint asked once we were the only two adults in the room. 

"I'm sure, we'll be fine. If anything, I'll ask FRIDAY to get you," I told him. 

"You better, I'll be out in the lounge on this floor."

"Clint, go to your own room and sleep. A bed is going to be much more comfortable then the couches out there," I tried to convince him. 

"Nope, it's either I stay out there or I stay in this room. Which one do you want?"

"Out there," I grumbled as I shifted. My side was killing me. At least out there he wouldn't wake up when Wanda inevitably has a nightmare. 

"That's what I thought. Alright, goodnight Nat. Sleep well and call me if you need absolutely anything, okay?"

"Okay. Goodnight," I told him and he left the room. I had no idea how I would take care of Wanda when she woke up with a nightmare. I couldn't exactly lift her without causing damage. Hopefully she would be able to sleep well but the chances of that were extremely slim. I guess I'll deal with it if and when I have to. 

I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I woke up to whimpering coming from inside of the room. The room was pitch black and it immediately reminded me of the time that I found Wanda, wrists slit, laying in the hospital bed, bleeding out. 

I quickly shook the vision out of my head as the whimpering grew louder. "FRIDAY, turn the lights on to 20% please," I asked FRIDAY, trying to see what was going on. Wanda was still on the couch, wrapped up in the duvet, with tears streaming down her face. The pain in my abdomen was the worse it had been, maybe I should've taken medication earlier.

I carefully but quickly got out of bed and disconnected my IV, pressing buttons on the pump to make it stop beeping. I rushed over to Wanda, ignoring the pain in my ribs and my broken leg. 

"Wanda baby, wake up," I shook her gently. She continued to whimper and her fists started flying. I was surprised that she wasn't using her powers and I was a little confused as to how she got her arms out from under the blanket so quickly but what mattered was that her hands were fighting some invisible thing that only she could see. I grabbed her arms and pinned them down, continuing to try to wake her up. 

This only made her scream as she fought even harder, her powers finally floating out of her hands. The red tendrils wrapped around my abdomen and threw me back. I slammed into the bed and I had to bite my tongue to hold back a scream as I felt my ribs shift inside of me. 

The noise was enough to signal Clint who came running into the door, looking for the source of the sound. "What are you doing out of bed?" he questioned angrily as he walked over to me. He must've seen the look of pain on my face because he asked, "Are you okay?" his tone becoming slightly more gentle. 

"Wanda," I grit out, trying to breathe through the pain in my chest and abdomen. He turned and quickly went over to Wanda, shaking her and trying to get her to wake up. 

I wanted so bad to be near her to help her but I physically couldn't get up so I was stuck on the floor, watching as Clint tried to wake her. 

He finally succeeded and she shot up, sobbing and gasping for air. "Tasha!" she cried and Clint glanced back at me before pulling her into a hug. "Where's Tasha? Nat!" she sobbed.

I used the bed to pull myself up as I walked over to her, replacing Clint and pulling her into a hug. She cried into my shoulder as she gripped onto my gown and hair. She wasn't gripping hard, more of just enough to keep me attached to her. 

My ribs felt like they were stabbing me but I ignored it as I pulled Wanda into my lap so that I could gently rock her. It always seemed to calm her down. I looked up to see Clint looking at us worriedly. 

"She's fine," I mouthed. 

"And how about you?" he mouthed back and I realized that I had projected my pain on my face more than I had wanted to. 

I was about to tell him that I was fine when I realized that I wasn't. I needed meds in order to take care of the crying Wanda. "Ribs hurt like crazy. Can you get me some meds?" He nodded and then left the room, leaving me alone to deal with Wanda. 

I switched to comforting her with words instead of actions, "I'm here baby, I've got you. Shh, shh. It was just a dream, you're okay. I love you so much, shh," I repeated as I rubbed her back. 

Clint came back with a syringe and I offered him my arm so that he could give me the medication through my IV. I was still holding Wanda and she whined when I moved my arm. "I'm not going anywhere baby, just shifting a bit. Hold on," I told her while I got my meds, then I moved my hand back to her head to play with her hair. 

She calmed down but didn't move from my shoulder, instead moving her hands to hold around my shoulders, resting on my back. "Do you want to talk about your dream?" I asked, gently pushing some hair out of her face. She shook her head. "You sure?" I asked. A nod this time. I wasn't going to get anything out of her right now so I just leaned back and let her lay on my chest. 

Clint was still in the room, sitting in one of the chairs. My ribs still hurt but it was more of an ache now instead of a sharp, shooting pain and I could deal with an ache. 

Wanda actually fell asleep remarkably quickly once she had calmed down. I expected her to fight with me about sleeping and stay awake all night so I was surprised when she fell asleep so quickly. 

"She asleep?" Clint asked after a while of sitting in silence. I nodded. "How are your ribs?" 

"Better. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." 

"It's really not a problem, that's why I was on this floor. In case something like this happened."

"You thought that Wanda was going to throw me into a bed?" I questioned sarcastically. 

"I thought that Wanda was going to have a nightmare and I knew that you were not in the right condition to handle it," he stated. 

"I can take care of my kid!" I snapped. 

"Your kid huh?" he smiled. We fell into silence after that, me rocking Wanda and Clint just sitting there. "Are you ready for bed?" he asked me after awhile. 

"I'm fine, Wanda's asleep and that's all that matters," I said. 

"You need sleep too. If you aren't healthy, then Wanda can't be healthy."

"Wanda needs to be with someone to sleep. She obviously didn't handle being alone on the couch well." I always slept next to her in the bed so I was able to get to her quicker than when I was halfway across the room in a hospital bed. 

"Then I will take her and you get some sleep," Clint tried to convince me. 

"What happens if she wakes up from another nightmare?"

"Then you can wake up and come take care of her but she probably won't wake up again."

"She can just lay with me in the bed," I suggested. "That way you can go get some sleep in the lounge."

"Then she'll hurt your ribs," Clint pointed out. 

"I'll be fine Barton, I'm not made of glass," I snapped. 

"I know Nat," he said gently. "Let me take her and you can get some sleep." He was already starting to gently grab her off of me. 

"Tasha," she whined in her sleep as Clint lifted her off of me. She started to whine once she was removed from my arms but Clint held her to his chest and she quickly calmed down. 

"See, she's fine," Clint said as he sat down on the couch next to me. "Go get some sleep. We won't leave this room," Clint assured me as I slowly got up and got back into the bed. 

Wanda was calmly sleeping in Clint's arms so hopefully we would be fine. I didn't want Wanda to get used to being held in order to sleep but for now, if that was what she needed, then that's what we'd give her. 

WANDA POV: 

_Pepper and I were sitting in the kitchen, waiting for everyone to get home from the mission. We heard the jet landing outside and I ran out to see Tony walking out of the jet._

_Steve, Vision, and Rhodey all followed Tony out of the jet. "Where's Nat?" I asked from my spot on the lawn._

_"She's gone," Tony told me. I rushed into the jet to see Natasha's dead body laying on the floor._

_"No!" I shouted. "Tasha, come back!" I fell to my knees and started crying, burying my head in my hands._

_I felt a cold hand grab my wrist and I looked up to see Natasha's hand gripping onto me. I followed her arm to her body and then her body up to her face. There was blood pouring out of her mouth and her face looked like it was melting in a way. All of the skin was tearing, revealing the broken bones beneath._

_"You killed me," she rasped out._

_"What? No I didn't Nat! You're hurting me!" I looked down to see her peeling the skin off of my arm. "Natasha!" I shouted, trying to snap her out of it._

_She pulled my skin off to try to put on her face to cover all of the gaping holes that were caused from the melting of her skin._

_Her skin continued to melt until her skeleton was the only thing left. I quickly rushed back out of the jet to see the rest of the Avengers standing on the lawn, looking at me._

_"You killed her," Steve told me._

_I was crying and I looked down to see red coating my hands, blood. I tried to wipe it off of my hands but it seemed to be glued on, it wasn't moving. Tony, Pepper, Steve, Clint, Rhodey and Vision all walked towards me until they had me circled._

_Steve grabbed me and pulled me into the compound, shoving me into a closet. I cried and fumbled to try to find a light switch._

_Once I turned on the dim light I turned around to try to find a way out and was met with the dead and rotting bodies of Pietro, mother, papa, and Nat. They all grabbed onto me and tried to push me into a hole that had somehow formed in the ground of the closet._

_"No!" I yelled as I tried to fight against them. Their hands kept pushing me into the hole, now pinning my arms to the side. I couldn't move, it felt like my body was being bound by some kind of invisible rope._

_I remembered my powers as I was in the hole and used them to throw back everyone who was pushing me into the hole. I crawled back up the hole and got to the top where I saw Pietro and Nat, no one else._

_Pietro had bullet holes in his chest and was lying on the ground, no longer rotting and Nat was laying on a gurney, her red hair sprawled across the white sheets. A large red stain started forming on the front of the white blanket and I pulled it back to reveal a huge wound on Nat's stomach, causing her to bleed out._

_I put pressure on it and tried to stop the bleeding. It was working until someone's hands grabbed me from behind. I turned and saw Steve pulling me out of the closet, taking me further and further away from Nat. "I need to help Nat!" I yelled._

_I heard Tony say that Nat was dead and I shot up._

"Tasha!" I cried, looking for her in the dim room. I felt myself getting pulled into a hug but I glanced up at the face and saw that it was Clint. Where was Nat? Was she really dead? "Where's Tasha? Nat!" I cried, desperate for her presence to reassure me that she was alive. 

I felt another set of arms on me and turned my head to see Nat. I launched myself into her arms instead, relieved that she was alive. I grabbed onto her gown and her hair. I played with her hair with my fingers to try to calm myself down and to reassure myself that she was really there.

Nat pulled me into her lap and rocked me back and forth while rubbing my back. I inhaled her scent of vanilla as I took deep breaths to try to calm down. I laid my head on her shoulder as I tried to fight my eyelids. For some reason, I was extremely tired and I felt safe in Nat's arms so I wasn't exactly scared to fall asleep as long as she was holding me. 

Nat gave me comforting words which helped me to calm down even faster, still holding onto Nat but shifting into a more comfortable position. I felt her arm move away from me and I panicked slightly. 

"I'm not going anywhere baby, just shifting a bit. Hold on," she told me and I calmed down. We sat there for a few more minutes before Nat asked the question I had been dreading, "Do you want to talk about your dream?" I shook my head and tried to pull myself closer to her. Her gentle hand moved a strand of hair out of my face before going back to rest on my head. "Are you sure?" she asked. I was positive. I did not want to relive my dream so I nodded. 

She leaned back a bit and I rested my head between her neck and shoulder as I let my eyes close, feeling completely safe in her arms. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I felt myself being lifted up, away from Tasha and I panicked, waking up suddenly but not really being aware of my surroundings. I wanted Tasha. Was I dreaming again? I felt myself being pulled closer to a chest. It didn't smell like Tasha but I quickly recognized Clint's soothing voice. I still wanted Tasha and was trying to wake up but I felt sleep pulling me back in so I gave in, trusting Clint. 

NATASHA POV:

I didn't get much more sleep that night, instead opting to watch Wanda sleeping on Clint. I was beyond relieved that Clint was there to help take care of Wanda. I didn't know what I would have done without him. I bet Pepper, Steve and Tony would step in to help, along with the rest of the team, but I don't think Wanda was as close to them as she was Clint. 

Clint was the first one to really bond with her or even have a full conversation with the twins when they had switched to our side. Wanda trusted Clint and allowed him to take care of him after Pietro died. I slowly worked my way into her trust but I'm not sure if the others have fully made it there yet. 

Luckily, Wanda did not have another nightmare that night but when she woke up, she immediately moved out of Clint's arms and back into my bed, laying her head on my shoulder. 

"Are you ready for breakfast baby?" I asked her. She was lying sleepily next to me but I wanted her to eat before she did anything else. I don't think she has eaten a lot the past few hours and I didn't want her falling back into her dangerous eating habits. 

"No," she mumbled and I looked to Clint before looking back at her. 

"Can you try to eat a little something for me? I want to make sure that you aren't hungry," I pressed gently. 

"I'm not hungry. I don't want to eat." She was one level above a whisper. 

"Okay, we'll eat in a little bit." The team slowly started to enter the room as the time grew later, all of them carrying mugs of coffee or light breakfast, sitting around the room. Helen came in to check how my injuries were healing. 

"Can I get out of here soon?" I asked Helen as she finished wrapping up my incisions. 

"Soon. I would like to keep you here a few more days for observation but then you are free to go."

"I don't see why I can't go to my room," I argued. "It's right downstairs and I'm not going to run any marathons."

"Nat," Steve warned. 

"No, I don't need to be here. I'm really fine," I pushed myself up to prove my point, being careful of Wanda. 

Helen spoke up, "If you do well for the rest of today, then I can see about moving you back to your room, as long as you promise to take it easy."

I opened my mouth to respond but Clint beat me to it, "Oh she will. She won't be moving out of her bed until she is 100% healed." I scoffed and rolled my eyes as I lowered myself back on the bed. Clint knew that he would never win that argument and that I would be up and moving within the next few days if not the next few hours. 

Helen finished her job and left the room. "Okay, Wanda, you ready to eat now?" I asked her gently. It had been almost two hours since she had woken up and it was time for breakfast. She shook her head as she pressed herself further into my side. 

"Wanda, you need to eat," I told her, slightly firmer than earlier. Another shake of her head. "Wanda," I dropped my voice and whispered into her ear, "If you don't eat breakfast, the tube may be in your near future." I was mainly bluffing, I knew that there was going to be struggles with her eating, especially after a major event, like my injury. I wasn't just going to place a tube after every single struggle but I wanted her to be aware that the tube was still a serious risk if she fell back into her terrible eating habits. 

"No Nat," she whined. 

"If you eat, then there will be no tube. If you don't eat, well, you know the consequences." She pouted and I kissed her on the temple as I pulled her in closer to me. "I just want you to be safe."

"I'm not really hungry," she explained. 

"That's okay. You don't have to eat a lot, I just want you to try. How about some toast?" She nodded so I asked Clint to go make her a slice of buttered toast. 

Wanda ended up eating her toast just fine and was back to eating without complaints by the time lunch rolled around. She still refused to leave my bed though, making sure that she was always touching me. Breaking her from the separation anxiety was not going to be fun. 

The rest of the day was uneventful, mainly just more games and TV, waiting to be discharged. Helen allowed me to get ready to go back to my room later that evening and I was thrilled that I would no longer have to stay in the hospital bed. 

"I can walk," I argued with Clint and Steve as they tried to get me to ride in the wheelchair. 

"Nat, get in the wheelchair," Clint said sternly. I didn't understand why he was being so parental towards me, I was completely fine and he knew that I could kick his butt if I wanted too, even as injured as I was. I had to be careful with my broken leg but it was in a huge brace so that the swelling could go down so I was fine, I just couldn't put too much weight on it. I also had one crutch on the side that Wanda was not so that I could have assisted walking. 

"No," I got off of the bed and started walking down the hallway. I wasn't going to waste my time arguing with him. Wanda was gripping onto my sleeve as we walked through the hallways. It reminded me of a small child and their mother and I smiled at the thought, wrapping one arm around Wanda's waist to pull her closer to me. Tony had come in earlier that afternoon to fit Wanda for her boot so now she could walk around without crutches. 

Clint and Steve followed me down the hallway with the wheelchair, trying to convince me to sit down but I assured them I was fine as I made my way to my room. 

I made it to my room and announced that I would be taking a shower. Wanda still wasn't letting go of my sleeve so I looked at her after motioning for Clint to stay in the room in case we had another meltdown. 

"I'm going to take a shower real quick sweetie. You can stay in here or you can go to your room. I'll be there as soon as I'm done." Her eyes filled with tears but she let me go as she sat on the bed, taking deep breaths. It looked like she was trying not to have a panic attack. I knelt down in front of her to reassure her before I went into my bathroom. 

"Hey, I'll be super quick and then we can go watch TV or something, okay?" She nodded. "If you need anything, just call for me, okay? I'll be right in there." She managed to keep all of her tears at bay as I walked into the bathroom. Clint had sat down next to her to watch her while I was in the shower. 

Getting ready for the shower took a good five minutes. I had to take off all of my braces, remove the gauze and maneuver myself so that I could get into the shower without hurting my ribs or any of my broken bones. I turned the water on hot and relished in all of the grime and sweat getting washed off of my skin. I scrubbed gently around my incision sites even though they weren't supposed to get wet. I had kept them dry for most of the shower but I wanted to clean around them. 

By the time I had gotten out of the shower, re-wrapped my incisions, put back on all of the braces and got dressed, it had been about half an hour. I walked out of the bathroom to find my room empty so I made the short walk down the hallway to find Wanda crying softly, Clint rubbing her back. "Tasha will be back soon," he told her. 

Both of their heads snapped up when I walked into the room and Wanda got off of the bed, quickly coming and pulling me into a hug. I rubbed her back and looked at Clint questioningly. "I'll tell you later," he mouthed and I just nodded as I gently led Wanda over to the bed. 

"Are you okay honey?" She nodded and she had stopped crying but she was back to gripping my shirt. The separation anxiety was just going to get worse and worse but I couldn't find it in me to care as I comforted my girl. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> I know that this chapter was mostly Natasha's POV, I promise that Wanda's POV will be used more in the upcoming chapters! I just have a lot that I want to show for each character and it's taking a little longer to get all of their feelings out. 
> 
> As always, feedback is appreciated along with requests for where you want to see the story go, certain details/scenes you would like me to include, or anything else. Your request could be as simple as just a quick hug you want to see between the characters that would take me a few sentences to write or an entire plot detail that will take me a few chapters to explain, maybe even a whole story. I'm totally open to ideas!!! 
> 
> I hope you all have a great rest of your week!


	7. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint's side of Nat's accident and the progression of Wanda's separation anxiety. Wanda's separation anxiety continues to get worse and worse and people are starting to pick up on the problem, knowing that they will have to break it soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Panic attacks, anxiety, eating disorder, mention of self-harm. Be safe! :)
> 
> So this chapter is basically the third one that is talking about the same subject. I needed a few chapters to spread out the thoughts and feelings of the characters so this is still about Nat's accident. There are more details each time I publish I chapter but it is still about the same basic event. Hopefully that makes sense! XD I am starting to move on from Natasha's accident a little bit so you guys will get some more progression with the story line soon!! 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

CLINT POV:

Ever since Wanda and Nat came to the farm, I knew they were close. I didn't realize how close they had gotten though until I had to come to the compound. I got a call from Pepper telling me that Natasha had been in an accident during a mission and that they weren't sure if she was going to make it. That phone call had been one of the hardest things in my entire life and my worry only increased when Pepper told me how upset Wanda was. I mean, it made sense, Wanda had gotten close to her and I couldn't imagine the thought of losing yet another family member.

I had immediately headed off for the compound after quickly saying my goodbye's to Laura and the kids. I had told Laura and she was worried and wanted to go for both Nat and Wanda but I told her that the kids needed her and that I would call her with updates. I knew I needed to be there, not just for Nat but for Wanda. If Nat died, Wanda was going to be a mess and it was going to take a lot to get her back on her feet. She was already still not completely back to normal from her brother's death, another hit to her could be fatal. 

I had to mentally prepare myself that there was a possibility of having to protect Wanda from herself once I got there. I had heard about everything that she did after Pietro's death and I didn't know how I would be able to manage without Nat. I was trying to sort out details, thinking about how I would get Wanda back to the farm and then how I would monitor her without being overbearing. I was praying that Nat would be fine and that Wanda wouldn't need all this extra care but I wanted to be prepared. 

I had to drive since I didn't have a quinjet so it was going to take me a while. Once I got there, I was brought to the med-bay where Wanda was sleeping next to Nat. She had made it through the surgery and Helen Cho was saying that she would fully recovery, thank gosh. 

I quietly talked with Pepper and Tony, trying to find out any information about the mission but they knew very little. 

Nat was the first one to wake up. I immediately asked her how she felt but she just brushed me off, telling me I was fine as she tried to get information about the mission. She then quickly went to Wanda, of course she did. She would do anything for Wanda and apparently right now, she was trying to figure out how Wanda was before even finding out about her own injuries. 

After she found out about her injuries, she turned to me. "And why are you here and not with your family?"

"Um, you needed me so I'm here," I told her like it was obvious. There was no way I wasn't going to come if she was this hurt. 

"I didn't say I needed you," she said in a playful manner. 

"Tasha, you could've died. We didn't know what had happened to you. I also needed to be here not just for you but for Wanda. If something worse had happened to you, she would've been absolutely broken. We didn't know if you were going to wake up with brain damage or another problem that was going to cause complications and I needed to be here for you and Wanda if that happened," I tried to get her to understand the severity of the situation.

Nat shifted gears and turned her attention back to Wanda. "Wanda needs to go to her room and get some proper sleep."

"I tried," Pepper interjected. "She refused."

"Who's the adult here?" Nat laughed. 

"Nat, she cried on Steve and me for hours when she saw you come off of the jet." I had heard some of the details from when everyone got back from the mission. Wanda had watched as Nat was brought into the compound and then apparently she had a breakdown. Pepper told me that she sobbed for hours and that she was begging for Nat. Everyone on the team was heartbroken as they watched her but there was nothing they could do since Nat was in surgery. 

I wish I had been there to help Wanda. She was so young, she shouldn't have to deal with all of this. 

I could tell that Nat was in pain but anytime someone brought it up, she quickly changed the subject and assured us that she was fine, even though she clearly was not. I heard a little bit more information about the mission though thanks to Nat's diversion tactics. 

Of course, Nat's three most important things were how was Wanda, how did the mission go, and then when am I getting out of here? She never did like the med-bay or any hospital for that matter. I was honestly surprised that she had waited this long before she brought up leaving. Pepper tried to convince her to stay in the med-bay for at least a few more days but I knew that it wouldn't last that long and that she would be out by tomorrow at the absolute latest. 

We talked a little bit more about Wanda, talking about what school she would go to. I had a feeling that conversation wasn't going to go over well but I kept my mouth shut as Helen walked in the room, starting to check Nat's injuries. 

Wanda woke up and immediately jumped off of Nat, asking her a million questions that Nat did her best to answer. 

Then Nat mentioned something about being drugged and it peaked my interest. Drugs could cause issues later on, especially if they were serious and not treated. Some drugs leave people's systems while others sit and manifest until they become big problems. Hopefully it wouldn't be the latter but you never knew until it was too late. 

Wanda looked absolutely exhausted but she seemed happy that Nat was awake, that was good. Steve came in to talk to Nat a little bit while we all ate. I noticed that Wanda hadn't left Nat's bedside, instead sitting right next to it with her arm pressed against Natasha's. 

We played a ton of games to try to pass the time and then it was time for Steve to talk to Nat. He ordered us all to leave the room so I followed Pepper and everyone else out, heading to the lounge area. 

Once we got there, I noticed someone missing, Wanda. I was going to go looking for her but assumed that she was probably just saying goodbye to Nat really quick. I then heard crying and screaming coming from down the hall that sounded an awful lot like Wanda. 

I stood up and saw Steve carrying a crying Wanda down the hallway. She was crying for Nat and I was slightly curious as to what happened. Steve set Wanda down in front of me and I watched as Wanda tried to bolt around Steve. I was quick to grab her waist though so that she couldn't move. 

"Nat!" she cried and I turned her around to face me as Steve left. "Clint, why won't they let me be with Nat?" she asked me and I felt my heart break. I just pulled her into a hug and let her cry it out, knowing that what she wanted just couldn't happen right now. 

I felt her breathing pick up slightly and knew that she would be having a full-blown panic attack soon if I didn't get her to calm down. I led her over to one of the couches and sat down, pulling her next to me as I gently and slowly rocked her. 

"Shh, Wanda, it's okay. They should be done in a few minutes." Nothing was calming her down completely but her breathing wasn't getting any faster so I took that as a win. Wanda was developing severe separation anxiety from the looks of it and I was worried. This was a dangerous path to be down, especially since Wanda needs to be able to be by herself for things that normal teenagers do like go to school or take a shower. 

Lila had a mild case of separation anxiety when she was four. She would scream if we tried to take her away from Laura. She was with Laura almost 24/7 and would scream and cry if we took her away from her. Luckily, she was young so she didn't really have to do much by herself which meant that she didn't have to be without Laura often. We tried to allow her to just grow out of it but it just got worse and she had to start school so we ended up having to do the separation technique. Basically, Laura would have to leave the house and we'd let Lila cry it out, reassuring her that nothing was going to happen and that she was safe. She eventually understood that nothing bad would happen when Laura wasn't there which allowed her to stop being so attached. 

Hopefully Wanda would get over it before it came to that. FRIDAY notified us that we could go back to the room after a few minutes had gone by so Wanda got up and started heading straight towards Nat's room. 

I kept a hold of her bicep so that she wouldn't run and jump on the bed once we got back to the room, hurting Nat. I let her go once I was sure she wasn't going to run and she slowly crawled into the bed, burying her face in Nat's shoulder as she cried, gripping onto her tightly. 

"Don't make me leave Nat!" I heard her say as she continued to cry. 

Natasha replied with ease as she said, "It's okay baby, I'm sorry we made you leave. You're okay, I've got you." 

She looked at me with concern and curiosity and I mouthed, "Separation anxiety," which made her nod and turn her attention back to Wanda. 

Wanda slowly calmed down and then apologized. Everyone in the room pretended not to notice anything that just happened to help ease Wanda's embarrassment. We quickly moved on as we started a game of uno. Wanda didn't play as she laid next to Nat on the bed, her head on Nat's shoulder. 

The rest of the day passed and it was time for bed. Wanda had fallen asleep on Nat after Nat told her she didn't have to leave the room to sleep. 

"Do you want me to move her?" I asked. 

"Sure, just to the couch though," she whispered as she looked at Wanda fondly. I carefully lifted Wanda and brought her over to the couch on the other side of the room, tucking her in and making sure she was comfortable. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" I asked her once the entire team had left the room. 

"I'm sure, we'll be fine. If anything, I'll ask FRIDAY to get you," she told me.

"You better," I told her. "I'll be out in the lounge on this floor."

"Clint," she started, "Go to your own room and sleep. A bed is going to be much more comfortable then the couches out there."

"Nope," I said simply. "It's either I stay out there or I stay in this room. Which one do you want?"

"Out there," she grumbled as she moved a bit. I could tell that she was in pain but yet again, there was nothing I could do about it since she was so stubborn. 

"That's what I thought," I said smugly. "Alright, goodnight Nat. Sleep well and call me if you need absolutely anything, okay?" I really didn't want to leave her alone in the room but she was a grown woman, she needed privacy. 

"Okay. Goodnight," she told me. I left the room and headed back down the hallway to the lounge. I grabbed some blankets and pillows as I made myself comfortable on the couch. Nat was right, my bed would be much more comfortable than this couch but there was no way I was going to leave this floor. If Wanda had a nightmare or if Nat was in pain, I needed to be there to help them. Heck, Tasha might even have a nightmare, I'm not exactly sure what happened during the mission. If that happened, I needed to be there to comfort both Nat and Wanda because I was sure Wanda was going to be scared watching her have a nightmare. 

I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep, trusting that FRIDAY would let me know if anything happened.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I woke up to a loud scream. I jerked awake but didn't hear anything follow and I briefly wondered if I had dreamed it. 

I didn't have to wait any longer to figure it out because there was a loud crash that came from down the hall. I jumped up and ran down the hall to Nat's room. I walked into a dimly lit room and saw that Nat's bed was empty. 

I walked in further and saw her on the floor. At first I thought she had had a nightmare and was worried but then I saw her wide awake and wondered if she had gotten out of bed. "What are you doing out of bed?" I was slightly angry because I knew that Tasha was very stubborn and there was a good chance that she left her bed just to prove that she could, even with all of her injuries. She was panting and looked like she was in pain. She had to be in bad pain to be openly showing it to me. "Are you okay?" I asked gently as I crouched down next to her. 

"Wanda," she breathed out, almost like it was hard for her, and I quickly turned towards Wanda instead. I wanted to find out what happened to Nat but I know she wouldn't tell me until Wanda was taken care of. 

I shook her gently a few times until she shot up on the couch, gasping for air and looking around frantically. She was already sobbing and cried, "Tasha!" I glanced back at Nat and saw that she was still on the floor so I gently pulled Wanda into a hug, trying to get her to calm down. "Where's Tasha? Nat!"

I heard some shuffling behind me and Nat soon popped up, placing a hand on my shoulder to pull me away from Wanda, replacing me. Wanda gladly accepted the hug and Nat sat down on the couch, bringing Wanda with her. She grimaced as she pulled Wanda into her lab, rubbing her back and rocking her. Wanda was gripping onto her as she cried. 

I met Nat's eyes and she mouthed, "She's fine."

"And how about you?" I mouthed back. 

I was expecting her to tell me she was fine so I was surprised when she mouthed, "Ribs hurt like crazy. Can you get me some meds?" I immediately nodded as I left the room to go find some meds. 

Once I got to the hallway I asked FRIDAY, "Is Helen in the building?"

"Yes, Helen Cho is in the east lab." I was slightly surprised that she was awake but I quickly headed to the lab.

"Hello, Mr. Barton," Helen said as I entered the room. 

"Hi, Natasha's in pain. Her ribs really hurt. Do you have a med you could give her?"

"Do you need me to go look at her?" she asked worriedly. 

"No, she's fine," I didn't want to freak out Wanda by bringing in the doctor. "I just need some meds for her."

"Well, okay," she said as she dug through a cabinet. She quickly pulled out a syringe and a bottle of medication. "Let me know if you need me but you just have to insert this into her IV."

"Perfect, thanks," I said as I headed back to the room. 

Nat was still on the couch holding Wanda so I walked over to her and signaled for her to give me her arm. Wanda whined but Nat quickly comforted her as I inserted the medication. Natasha started talking to Wanda, trying to get her to open up a bit and continued to comfort her so I moved back and sat down in the chair Wanda had been using earlier. 

I expected for Wanda to fight sleep like she had done in the past so I was surprised when she fell asleep in Nat's arms. "She asleep?" I asked after a few minutes. She nodded so I continued, "How are your ribs?" 

"Better. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." 

I wanted to ask her how she planned on dealing with that but instead, I settled for, "It's really not a problem, that's why I was on this floor. In case something like this happened."

"You thought Wanda was going to throw me into a bed?"

So that's what happened. "I thought Wanda was going to have a nightmare and I knew that you were not in the right condition to handle it," I answered smoothly. 

"I can take care of my kid!" she snapped at me. 

"Your kid huh?" I smiled as I pointed it out. There was no more talk between us as we sat silently, Nat rocking Wanda and me sitting there, waiting to move Wanda. "Are you ready for bed?" I asked her as she looked exhausted. 

"I'm fine, Wanda's asleep and that's all that matters."

"You need sleep too. If you aren't healthy, then Wanda can't be healthy," I pointed out, trying to convince her to sleep. 

"Wanda needs to be with someone to sleep. She obviously didn't handle being alone on the couch well." So the separation anxiety was already this bad. 

"Then I will take her and you get some sleep."

"What happens if she wakes up from another nightmare?"

"Then you can wake up and come take care of her but she probably won't wake up again." I would gladly take care of Wanda if she woke up from a nightmare but I knew that Wanda would want Nat and that Nat would want to know that I would wake her up, not let her sleep through it. 

"She can just lay with me in the bed. That way you can go get some sleep in the lounge."

"Then she'll hurt your ribs," I had seen the way that Nat was shifting when Wanda was laying with her earlier. 

"I'll be fine Barton, I'm not made of glass." She snapped at me again. When she was younger she would have gotten in trouble but I know that she was going through some stuff and that she was tired. 

I took the gentle approach, hoping to convince Nat, "I know Nat. Let me take her and you can get some sleep." I gently started to pick Wanda up off of Nat's chest, not giving Nat time to argue. 

Wanda started to whine but I rocked her slightly and sat down, making her calm down slightly. "See, she's fine," I told Nat as Wanda stilled completely, laying her head on my chest. 

Nat slowly but surely got back into the bed and for that, I was happy. I knew that she needed sleep and I was glad that she trusted me at least a little bit with her baby. 

I felt Nat's eyes on me but I chose to ignore her as I rocked Wanda and scrolled through my phone. Nat needed to know that it was okay to sleep without Wanda. Wanda wasn't the only one getting separation anxiety. 

The rest of the night passed with Nat watching me. Wanda didn't have another nightmare which was good. When she woke up, she pushed off of my chest and I let her go as she got off of the couch and crawled back into bed with Nat. 

I didn't want her to hurt Nat's ribs but I wasn't ready to deal with a meltdown this early that would come from me not allowing her to get in bed with Nat. 

The rest of the team slowly arrived, we ate breakfast, and then Nat started arguing, trying to get out of the med-bay. 

She eventually won the argument after promising that she wouldn't move around too much. I knew it was complete bullshit but I didn't want to argue with her about it.

"I can walk," she told Steve and me as we started trying to move her out of the room. 

"Nat, get in the wheelchair," I told her, not messing around. She had a broken leg for god's sake. Not to mention she just had life-saving surgery! 

"No," she told me as she got out of bed and started to walk out, being careful of her broken leg. I would have picked her up and made her sit in the chair if she wasn't also supporting Wanda. Wanda was tucked right into her side, walking carefully on her fractured ankle. 

Steve and I did not give up as we followed her closely in the hallway with the wheelchair. We made it all the way to Nat's room without her using the wheelchair so Steve left to go return the wheelchair to the med-bay. 

"I'm going to go take a shower," Nat said. I was going to leave but she looked at me and then at Wanda, signaling that we might have another meltdown to deal with. "I'm going to take a shower real quick sweetie," she told Wanda gently. "You can stay in here or you can go to your room. I'll be there as soon as I'm done." I could see Wanda's eyes filled with tears but she didn't start crying. Natasha continued, "Hey, I'll be super quick and then we can go watch TV or something, okay? If you need anything, just call for me, okay? I'll be right in there." 

I walked over to sit next to her to give her some extra support as Nat walked into the bathroom. I hoped Nat knew that she could ask FRIDAY to get me if she needed help with the shower. I can't imagine it would be easy to shower with all of those injuries. 

Wanda started crying the second the bathroom door closed and I rubbed her back. 

"Let's go to your room," I told her gently. She shook her head but didn't protest as I pulled her up and led her into her room. 

"I want Tasha," she mumbled as she cried. 

"I know kiddo," I said as I sat her on the bed. "She just needs to shower and then she'll be back soon."

"I thought I was going to lose her," Wanda said and then she broke down into sobs as she wrapped her arms around herself. 

"Oh honey," I breathed as I pulled her close to me. She stayed wrapped up into herself but melted into my embrace, crying into my shoulder. 

"I can't lose her Clint, I want Tasha!" 

"She's okay. Tasha's just in the other room," I told her, trying to reassure her. 

Wanda continued to cry for the entire half hour that Nat was gone. I was about to go check to make sure that Nat was fine, 30 minutes was a long time to be in the shower, when I saw her walk in the room. 

Wanda had pulled away a few minutes before Nat came in so that she could breathe better. I continued to rub her back and tell her that Nat would be back soon. 

When Nat walked in the room, Wanda immediately got up and hugged her, still crying. Nat looked at me worriedly and I mouthed, "I'll tell you later." She nodded and went back to comforting her girl. Luckily Wanda stopped crying but she didn't let go of Nat. I had a feeling that we were going to have to do the separation technique with Wanda sooner rather than later if this kept going. 

WANDA POV:

When I was without Nat, I felt a sense of panic and despair, like I needed her to simply live. 

After the shower incident, I didn't want to ever leave her again. I was scared that if she left, I was going to lose her and then I would never be able to be the same again. I was constantly scared that something would happen to her when I wasn't with her. 

I felt safe with Clint but it wasn't enough to ease the panic of not being with Nat. The fear that I had felt when I woke up from a nightmare without her was something I never wanted to repeat. 

Because Nat was so hurt, we didn't do much for the next several days. We hung around the compound, relaxing, watching TV, playing games, and really any other quiet or calm activities. Nat tried several times to go to the gym or train but anytime she tried, Steve or Clint would stop her. I was beginning to think that FRIDAY was notifying them each time it happened. I was kind of glad though because I didn't want her to hurt herself. 

I tried my hardest to be calm whenever I was without her but I just couldn't. Anytime we had to leave each other to go to the bathroom or take a shower, I panicked. I would snap the band on my wrist to try to keep me tethered to reality so that I could breathe but it was getting harder and harder each time she left. 

Nat still hadn't found out about the band on my wrist and I had no intentions of telling her about it. I had stopped for a little bit once she got hurt because I was around her constantly or I was being watched by someone else but now I would do it when she was in the bathroom or when I was in the shower. 

Nat still slept with me and I was glad. One, I was still having terrifying nightmares each night that only Nat could calm me down from and two, I didn't want to ever be without her for more than a few minutes. Even a few minutes was difficult. 

Clint was spending a lot of time with us and I was wondering how much longer he was going to stay. It's not like I wanted him to leave, I loved his company, but Nat seemed to be angry with his constant monitoring. 

Eating was becoming easier and easier for me which was good because I was tired of constantly freaking out about my food on top of everything else. I was also glad that I now had a boot which meant that I could walk around freely. I didn't want to have to use crutches or stay off of it entirely, especially since I was trying to stay glued to Nat wherever she went. 

A week had passed and Nat seemed to be doing much better. She could walk without wincing and she said that she could breathe much better now. She told me she healed fast and I wasn't sure how much of that was true versus her just trying to act tough. 

We finally were able to get back to training, as long as it was light. Nat made me sit while I worked on my powers which annoyed me a little bit but at least I was able to sit by Nat, easing my panic. 

It had gotten to the point where I had to be holding onto Nat in order to function. I couldn't eat, sleep, talk, or do anything else without her right next to me. If she was in the same room as me, I still couldn't really function. I needed to be touching her. I don't know if it was just the comfort that she was alive or something else but it was the only thing that kept me calm and relaxed and Nat didn't seem to mind so neither did I. 

Clint tried to be with me if Nat was going to be gone for more than a few minutes, like if she had to take a shower. Clint was okay but he wasn't Nat. I only wanted Nat in those situations so Clint wasn't much of a comfort, even though he tried. 

Nat had a doctor's appointment and told me that I had to stay and work on some test she wanted me to take. 

"Why can't I come with you?" I whined. 

"Because I need you to at least look over that test that I gave you."

"What even is it?" She had told me the other day that she wanted to test my knowledge and that she would be administering a test soon. I didn't get the point if I was going to be an Avenger but maybe it was some kind of initiation test or something like that. 

"I've already told you Wanda. It's a knowledge test to see how much education you have and where you are at with your learning."

"Why do I need it though?"

She took a deep breath and looked at me. "The school requires it," she told me simply. 

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "What school?"

"The high school that you will be attending."

"What?" I shouted. "I'm not going to high school!"

"Yes. You are," she told me in a tone that said there was no negotiating. 

"I don't need to go to school! I'm going to be an Avenger, I don't need an education."

"Actually Wanda, I'm required by state to send you to school. You're a minor which means that you need to be attending school."

"But I don't wanna go!" I yelled, frustrated that she had made this decision without me. 

"Too bad, you're going. Not immediately as I want you to be completely healthy first but you will eventually be going and we need to know what grade to start you off in based on your education level."

"Well I'm not going so I don't need to take the test," I said matter-of-factually. I couldn't imagine going to school without Nat for an entire day. 

"Well I'm not arguing with you about this. You will be going to high school because I told you that's what you're doing and I'm the adult. You can either take the test now or be punished and then take the test," she told me sternly.

I was sitting on the bed about two feet away from where Nat was sorting through the test, making sure that it was separated into the correct chunks. I just crossed my arms and rolled my eyes but didn't argue. I was scared that my punishment would be grounding or something that would make it so that I couldn't be with Nat and that terrified me. 

"You don't have to worry about getting all of the answers correct, we just need to see what you know so try your best. This is just to see what I need to teach you before you can start school and what we can work on," Nat had changed her tone back to a gentle one. "How about you start with the math portion and then you can move onto reading if you finish that one before I get back?"

"Fine," I said. I didn't want to take the test and I didn't know how I was going to focus on it without her but I didn't want to make her mad. This test also didn't make me go to school, it was just a step towards school. I still had time to talk her out of sending me to school. I was _not_ going to go to school, I was certain about that. There was no use putting up a fight about it right now though if I wasn't going to school for a few more months. She said I had to be completely healthy and I was far from that. I was still underweight and I still had really bad anxiety. She wasn't just going to send me off to school if I wasn't getting sleep at night. I could also very easily stop eating again which would make my health deteriorate, pushing back the start of school. 

"Thank you Wanda," she said as she kissed my head. I grabbed onto her sleeve as she stood up, scared for her to leave. 

"Can't I just come take the test with you?"

"No. I'm sorry honey but I have a physical therapy appointment and then they also need to check what progress the surgery made. I don't want you getting distracted."

"I won't! I promise, I'll stay in the back and be really quiet."

"Not this time Wanda, I'll be back soon though." She gently removed my grasp on her sleeve as she left the room. All of the breath immediately disappeared from my lungs and I couldn't pull any back in. 

I stood up and tried to go to the door but I felt dizzy so I slid my back down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I rolled up my sleeve slightly and started snapping the rubber band, trying to bring myself back to reality so that I could breathe. It wasn't working. 

I shoved my sleeve back down to cover my wrists as I placed my head between my legs, trying to breathe. Tears were running down my face from not being with Nat and I felt like I was dying. My body burned for her, I felt like I couldn't live without her. I _needed_ her. 

"Wanda!" I faintly heard someone call my name and I looked up to see Steve. "What's wrong?" He rushed over to me and crouched in front of me, looking me in the eye. 

"Tasha!" I choked out as I continued crying. 

"FRIDAY, get Nat," Steve said as he started rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. 

The door to my room flew open to show Nat standing there, worried look on her face. She quickly came over to me and pulled me into a hug so that I could cry into her shoulder. I felt guilty that I made her come to me instead of going to her doctor's appointment but I could finally breathe so that was good. 

"Shh, baby. What's wrong? I've got you, you're safe. You're okay," she whispered to me as she held me. I calmed down since she was back. She pulled away but I held her shirt to keep myself tied to her. Steve was no longer in the room, he must've left once Nat got here. 

Nat helped me stand up and then she moved me to the bed. We both sat down on the edge of it as I pressed myself into her side. "Sorry," I whispered as she ran her fingers through my hair. 

"It's okay baby," she told me gently. I was glad that she didn't sound angry at me. 

"Are you going to go to your doctors appointment?" I asked, scared to hear the answer.

"Nope, I'm going to stay here with you. Do you want to watch TV?"

"Yeah," I said. She scooted until we were pressed against the headboard and then she turned on the TV, letting me lay against her chest. I felt safe and due to my exhaustion from just having a panic attack, I fell asleep with Nat's soft fingers brushing through my hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> I tried to show a bit more of what other people think to try to mix it up a bit. I am constantly doing Nat's and Wanda's point of view but I decided to challenge myself and throw in Clint's. Let me know if you guys liked it! I'll probably try to occasionally add another character's POV but the story is mainly about Natasha and Wanda so that's what POV I'll use the most. I thought it might be interesting to hear from another character every once and a while though! 
> 
> Thank you to anyone who is reading, liking, or commenting on my story! It really makes me happy and encourages me to continue the story!! As always, feedback is appreciated and if you would like to see anything happen to the story, let me know! I'm open to suggestions!!
> 
> Hope you all have a great week!!


	8. Separation Technique

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Clint decide that it is time to start the separation technique and it does not go over well with Wanda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Panic attacks, eating disorder, mention of self-harm, extreme anxiety, mention of vomit. Be safe! :)
> 
> I wanted to let everyone know that I wrote a small list of AMAZING Wanda and Natasha fics (mother/daughter) as a response to a comment on chapter 6 (Everything Will Get Better...Eventually) so go check that out if you would like some great stories to read! You can find it in the comment section as a response to Galgobaad56's comment. 
> 
> This chapter is very intense with a lot of panic attacks so if that bothers you, skip this chapter! I'll write a quick summary of the chapter at the bottom so that you don't have to read the intense moments if that will upset you! :)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this chapter!

NATASHA POV:

It had been almost three weeks since I left the med-bay and I was feeling much better. My ribs weren't completely healed but I could walk around without extreme pain and I could go back to hugging Wanda without wincing. 

Even though my injuries were healing, the last few weeks had been hell. Wanda was having nightmares at least once a night, several times if I was able to get her back to sleep. She wouldn't leave my side for anything without a fight. She had recently started refusing to take a shower because that meant that she had to leave me. When I would leave to go to the bathroom or take a shower, I could hear her cries from outside. 

Clint was supposed to go back home but he ended up staying so that he could take care of Wanda whenever I wasn't there. Wanda and I couldn't even train anymore because that required her to move more than a foot away from me.

She usually stayed tucked in my side unless I was doing something like cooking, then she would hold onto the back of my shirt or sleeve, staying as close as possible. She would occasionally leave me to go to the bathroom but the second she was done, she was right back into my arms. 

I loved her and I didn't mind being with her but I knew that it was getting out of control. She needed to be able to shower without having a panic-attack beforehand. I would have to sit right outside the bathroom and talk to her so that she knew I didn't leave. 

Clint had talked to me about something called the separation technique but I told him to just let her be for a little bit. That was a week ago. 

I had to take her to my doctor's appointments because I couldn't leave her without having a panic attack. I tried to get her to stay by herself soon after I got hurt so that I could go to a physical therapy appointment but I didn't even make it all the way to the med-bay before FRIDAY was notifying me that Wanda was having a panic attack with Steve. 

She hadn't let go of me after that afternoon which meant that she also hadn't taken the test for school. The conversation regarding school had gone surprisingly well with only minimal argument. I think some of that had to do with the fact that she wanted to stay right next to me. I have a feeling that if I had brought up school before I had gotten hurt, before she had become so attached to me, she would have stormed off and then not talked to me for a week. I guess that was one plus to her being so attached, she didn't get mad at me as easily. 

Wanda was currently taking a nap after a lot of convincing since she barely slept last night. 

"How's she doing?" Clint asked quietly as he walked in the room. Normally, I would have gotten up and went into the hallway to talk to him but Wanda had my shirt bunched in her fist and I knew if I moved, she would instantly wake up. 

"She's okay. I'm glad she's finally getting some sleep. She got less than an hour last night." We had gone to bed a little late after a game night with the team and then she woke up about 50 minutes after she had fallen asleep due to a terrible nightmare. She wasn't telling me what they were about but I had a feeling they were similar to what her old nightmares were about. If she didn't start getting sleep, I may have to force her to tell me. Laura did it once when I was younger and it wasn't fun, it helped me get more sleep though.

"Nat, I know you wanted to wait but I think it's time to try the separation technique. It should cause no physical harm but she's getting too attached to you. It's getting dangerous. She can barely even go to the bathroom without you and she freaks out if you aren't by her side constantly."

"I know it's getting dangerous but I don't want to cause even more pain and hurt in her life. She's already gone through so much, I don't want her to no longer trust me."

"I know. Laura and I did it with Lila and she didn't have any lasting effects. We could always have her talk to a therapist? Sometimes that helps."

"I tried. She wouldn't go into the therapist's office without me and then she refused to go another time. She had made it very clear that she doesn't want to talk to a therapist."

"Then I think separation technique is your only other option. We can start small with just having her sit across the room from you, then work our way up to being in different rooms, and soon she should be completely broken of the habit. We can also keep waiting but I think it's just going to get worse and worse." I knew Clint was right.

"Okay, let's start this afternoon. Maybe I can have her grab something for me in the same room and we'll see how it goes."

"Sounds good." Clint and I talked about random things for a little bit until Wanda started to wake up. 

Again, she woke up with a nightmare and wouldn't talk to me about it, instead pulling herself up to cry into my arms. I felt my heart break a little more every time she cried. 

She quickly calmed down and followed me out into the kitchen for a snack. I figured it was time to start the separation technique. "Hey Wanda, can you grab an apple for me?" I asked as I chopped up some celery for our snack. 

I didn't feel her move from my side so I turned around to see an apple floating towards us, surrounded by a red mist. Crap, that wasn't going to work. 

"Thank you," I said as she gently placed it in front of me. Time for something a little more difficult. "Can you also grab me the cheese from the fridge? And the crackers?"

I watched as she used her powers to open the fridge, grab the cheese, and then open the cabinets and grab the crackers. She floated both of them on the counter. Damn it. This was going to be harder than I thought. 

"How about you go pick a movie for us to watch in the living room? I'll be right there, let me just finish cutting the apple." I said as I nudged her gently. She stayed glued to my side. Clint was sitting in the kitchen, watching this all unfold. 

"I don't mind what we watch," Wanda spoke quietly. 

"Alright, how about you head in there and get us a spot? I'll be in in a sec."

"Why don't you want me in the room?" Wanda questioned sadly. 

I put down the knife I was using to cut our snacks and I turned to her. "Honey, I love you and I don't mind you staying with me, I just thought you might want a second to breathe." I wanted to be gentle, she still seems unstable. 

"I don't need a second, thanks though," she smiled slightly and I sighed as I turned back to our snack. 

I finished preparing the food so Clint, Wanda and I all headed to the living room to watch a movie. I had a little over two hours before my next doctor's appointment. 

Clint and I texted discreetly during the movie. Our plan was that I would try to go to the doctor's appointment without Wanda and she would stay here with Clint. I knew there was going to be a meltdown but Clint said that it was expected and that we had to go through the meltdown before she would get better. Didn't mean I was looking forward to it though. 

The movie finished and it was time for me to go to the doctor's appointment. I was only going to be a small walk away as Helen was still in the compound but Wanda didn't do well with me leaving her _at all_. 

"Okay baby, you're going to hang out with Clint for an hour while I go to my doctor's appointment." I told her as I gently moved her off of me. 

"What?" she looked at me heartbroken. "I'll go with you."

"Not this one sweetie, Clint and you can hang out for a little bit and I'll be back before you know it," I tried to convince her. 

"No," she said as her eyes started to fill up with tears. She grabbed onto my arm and I knew I was going to have to fight slightly to leave. 

"I love you Wanda, I'll be back in an hour."

"No!" The first tear slid down her cheek as she tried to pull herself closer to me. I removed her grip on my arm and looked at Clint, letting him know he could step in. He moved forward and grabbed her waist, holding her in place but not holding her down. 

I got up to leave and heard her cry out behind me. "Tasha!" It took all of my power not to look at her as I headed for the hallway. 

"Wanda!" I heard Clint yell and I turned in time to see a small red ball hit Clint in the chest as Wanda broke free and ran to me. 

"Wanda!" I scolded as she jumped into my arms, hugging me tightly. "You can't use your powers on Clint!" She didn't respond as she cried. I was surprised that she used her powers on him. She had only done that on purpose once, when Tony and I tried to put the tube in. 

"You okay?" I mouthed to Clint. He nodded in response. "Say sorry to Clint, Wanda," I said as sternly as I could without upsetting her further. 

"Sorry!" she sobbed into my chest. 

"If you use your powers on someone on the team again, we will be having a little chat. Got it?" I mumbled in her ear. 

"Yes, sorry," she cried out. 

"Alright, I love you but I'm going to be late. I have to go now, stay with Clint."

"No! Don't leave me Tasha!" she cried as she held onto me tighter. Clint moved forward and grabbed her again, pulling her away from me. She fought against him but he was stronger than her and easily overpowered her, bringing her over to the couch. "Tasha!" she screamed and I gave her one last look before I slipped into the hallway. 

I had to wipe away a tear as I made my way to the med-bay, hearing Wanda scream and cry for me. 

CLINT POV:

Tasha and I made a plan with how we were going to break Wanda of her separation anxiety. If she wasn't going to talk to a therapist, we had to take other measures, none of which would be pleasant. 

After her first attempt with the snack failed, it was time to up it a bit. Luckily Nat had an appointment to go to for us to test out our method. 

"Okay baby, you're going to hang out with Clint for an hour while I go to my doctor's appointment," Nat told Wanda after the movie had finished. 

"What? I'll go with you." Wanda said in a sad tone and it broke my heart. Poor girl. 

"Not this one sweetie, Clint and you can hang out for a little bit and I'll be back before you know it." Nat was trying hard to convince her to make this easy. I had told Nat that Wanda was probably going to fight and that she couldn't back down. With Lila, we had to just keep following through and eventually she got over her attachment issues, it wasn't easy though. 

"No," Wanda started to protest. I watched as she grabbed onto Nat and I knew it was going to be a battle getting Nat out of the room. 

"I love you Wanda, I'll be back in an hour."

"No!" she yelled as she started crying. She tried to hug Nat but Nat was trying to remove Wanda's hand from her arm. 

Nat looked at me and I knew I could step in. I walked over to them and gently grabbed Wanda's waist, letting her know that someone else was there for her and that she needed to let go. 

"Tasha!" Wanda cried as Nat started to leave the room. Nat didn't even look back as she continued walking and I knew how hard it must be for her. 

I saw red come out of Wanda's hands and before I could move, a red ball was being shoved into my chest, pushing me back and causing me to let go of Wanda. "Wanda!" She jumped up and ran towards Nat. 

"Wanda!" I heard Nat yell as I got up, walking over to them. Wanda had thrown herself into Nat's arms and was sobbing. I felt bad for her, I knew it was hard for her to leave Nat. "You can't use your powers on Clint!" It didn't hurt me, I was a little shocked but that's it. "You okay?" I watched Nat mouth and I nodded. "Say sorry to Clint, Wanda," Nat said sternly. 

"Sorry!" I heard Wanda's muffled response. Nat mumbled something to Wanda but I didn't strain to hear, figuring it was private but Wanda responded with, "Yes, sorry."

"Alright, I love you but I'm going to be late. I have to go now, stay with Clint," she was much gentler now.

"No! Don't leave me Tasha!" I saw hurt written all over Nat's face as she looked at me. I grabbed Wanda and pulled her away from Nat, holding tight to the struggling girl. "Tasha!" she screamed as Nat left the room. I had brought Wanda over to the couch and sat with her back to my chest, trying to hold her still. 

"It's okay Wanda, calm down," I tried to comfort her. 

"Tasha! I love you! Please come back! I'm so sorry! Tasha, please!" Wanda begged and screamed until her voice was hoarse. She was sobbing and I had turned her around so that she could cry into my chest. 

She was crying so hard that she was gagging so we moved to the bathroom just in case. "Wanda, honey, you have to calm down," I told her while rubbing her back. "You're going to make yourself sick."

"I want Tasha! Why'd she leave? Please, I want Tasha!"

"She'll be back soon. You're safe, you're going to be okay. Tasha is at a doctor's appointment. She's safe and she'll be back soon," I tried to reassure her. 

Wanda's breathing picked up and soon she was panicking while sobbing. This was the most upset I had ever seen her. She threw up but continued to cry and panic. All I could do was sit with her and try to coach her through breathing exercises to make sure she didn't pass out. 

Tony walked into the bathroom about a half hour into the meltdown and looked at Wanda worriedly. "Is everything okay?" he asked. 

"Yeah, she wants Nat," I explained while I held the crying girl. She couldn't hear us over her loud cries. 

"Do you want help?" Tony asked as he walked into the bathroom. I don't think I've ever seen this side of Tony. He looked worried and gentle almost. 

"No, I'm okay. Maybe get her a glass of water?" I asked. 

"Of course, I'll be right back." He cast one more worried glance at her before leaving the bathroom. 

"Wanda, keep breathing sweetie," I said as I felt her breathing get a little fast again. 

"I want Tasha! Tasha!" she cried. She was curled onto my lap with her head resting against my thigh. I just rubbed her back as I let her cry. Earlier, I had to keep a tight grip on her bicep to keep her from running but she was now too weak and exhausted to move so I could release my grip. 

Tony returned shortly with a glass of water. "Can you try to drink Wanda?" I asked her gently. She was going to get dehydrated from all of the tears. She had also vomited. 

She ignored me as she continued sobbing. Tony eventually left the room after I assured him we were fine. 

The next half hour felt like several days as I sat in the bathroom with Wanda. She never stopped sobbing, her intensity never even grew lower. Instead, she continued to sob her heart out for her favorite person. 

After what felt like forever, Nat appeared in the doorway with worry written all over her face. "Wanda," she said. Within a second, Wanda had lifted herself off of me and threw herself into Nat. Nat had to hold onto the door frame to brace herself from the force of it. 

"Tasha, don't leave me again!" Wanda cried hysterically as she held onto Nat tightly. 

"Shh, shh, baby. I love you so much, you did so good," Nat comforted as she slowly started to walk back to their bedroom. If Nat wasn't injured, I had no doubt that she would have carried Wanda but she couldn't in this shape and I knew that if I tried to carry Wanda, there would be problems. 

I followed them to their room and helped Nat maneuver Wanda so that she was on Nat's lap, lying on the bed. I didn't leave but sat on the chair next to their bed, just being there in case either of them needed me. 

I didn't know if what we had just done had helped or made it worse. Lila had gotten slightly more attached to Laura before it started to work but we eventually got there so I held onto that as I watched Wanda sob into Nat's chest. 

Wanda stopped crying about fifteen minutes later but she still didn't let go of Nat, instead keeping one hand fisted around Nat's shirt while the other one wrapped around Nat's shoulders and neck, holding onto her. Wanda laid her head on Nat's shoulder, breathing slowly. It slightly reminded me of baby Nate, laying on Laura's chest. 

When we did the separation technique with Lila, we had to make sure that we were separating her from Laura at least once a day so that she didn't reform her separation. Then all of the work would have been for nothing. I was _not_ looking forward to doing the same thing to Wanda tomorrow. 

WANDA POV:

I don't know what just happened but I was not happy. Nat left me with Clint and I felt a terrible sense of panic and despair. I didn't want to ever do that again. I think that was the hardest I've ever cried, maybe even worse than when Pietro died. Pietro's death was definitely a close second though. 

It's not that I didn't like Clint. I trusted him fully and loved hanging out with him, I just felt a need to be with Nat right now. 

The worst part was, Nat didn't even come back, even after I had thrown up from the force of my cries. I felt absolutely helpless without her and that was something I _never_ wanted to experience again. I knew that eventually I would have to be without her but it didn't need to happen anytime soon, especially when she was still healing from her injuries. 

"Wanda," Nat started gently after I had been calm for several minutes. "Are you okay?" She was rubbing my back and running her fingers through my hair, it felt nice. I didn't say anything and instead nuzzled my way further into her shoulder, not ready to face the embarrassment that came from crying like a toddler. I knew Clint was still in the room and although Nat had seen me cry time and time again, I tried my hardest not to cry in front of other people. 

I wasn't embarrassed at the time of my meltdown because all I could think of was how desperately I wanted Nat but now that I had her, my embarrassment was shining through. 

"Sorry," I finally mumbled. 

"There's nothing to be sorry for baby," Nat told me. "You did so good." I scoffed at that. I basically threw a temper tantrum and sobbed like a baby for her. That would not be something that I would consider I did "so good." I didn't voice my opinion though as I laid on her chest. One thing was certain though, I wasn't going to be letting her go without a fight for a while. 

"How about we move to the living room?" Nat suggested. "We can relax a bit before dinner. We could even go train a little bit if you want?"

"No," I shook my head. "I wanna stay here."

She sighed but responded with, "Okay honey. Whatever you want. We'll have to go when dinner is ready though."

I was fine with that so we stayed together until FRIDAY announced that dinner was ready. "Alright hon, let's go," Nat said as she started sitting up. I moved off of her lap but kept a firm grasp on her arm. 

"Hey kiddo," Clint said when I looked at him. "How're you feeling?"

"Okay," I responded as I followed Nat out of the room, Clint following me. The dinner was already being served at the table with Tony, Steve, Rhodey and Vision already seated. 

They all gave me a sympathetic look as I sat down, right next to Nat of course. I held Nat's arm with one of my hands while the other one picked up my fork. 

I felt Nat pull away gently once we started eating and I watched in horror as she stood up. I quickly stood up as well to follow her into the kitchen. She didn't say anything as she got a glass of water for both me and her and then returned to the table. 

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful as Nat announced that we would be going to bed early. I didn't particularly want to as I was scared of the nightmares but if that's where Nat was going, that's where I was going. 

I tried to stay awake for as long as possible but my meltdown from earlier really took a lot out of me so I felt my eyes closing as I drifted off to sleep. 

This of course didn't last long as about two hours later, I shot up from a nightmare. It was of course about the events from earlier, Nat leaving me, only this time, she didn't come back. 

I managed not to wake Nat up so I held back my sobs as I pressed myself into Nat's side, resting my head on her shoulder. I still couldn't help but feel like a baby, having Nat sleep with me, but it definitely made me feel safer when I was woken up from a terrible nightmare. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

The rest of the night passed slowly, seeing as I got no more sleep. 

When Nat finally woke up, I was thrilled that we could get out of bed. I feigned sleep at first, trying to make it seem like I had slept throughout the night. 

I started shifting once she moved and then acted groggy. "How'd you sleep?" Nat asked me as she rubbed my back.

"Really good," I lied as I rubbed my eyes. "You?" 

She looked at me weirdly but responded with, "Pretty good. Are you sure you slept well?" I nodded. "Good. Well, time to get up." 

This was probably my least favorite part of the day. It was time to shower and get changed which meant that I was going to be without Nat. Today I especially dreaded it after yesterday's event and last night's nightmare. 

"You want to take the shower first or do you want me to?" Nat asked me as she started pulling out her clothes for the day. 

"Can't we do that later?" I whined. I did _not_ want to be without her right now. 

She sighed and looked at me. "Wanda, I love you so much but this is getting dangerous. You need to be able to be without me for at least a few minutes so that I can shower. If you want to sit with someone else, that's totally fine but I need you to know that you can't be with me every minute of the day. Eventually, you are going to be going to school and I will have other missions to go on. We'll have to be without each other for a little bit when that happens."

I decided to ignore the school comment since I wasn't going to let that happen. I had several plans in place to make sure that it didn't happen. "I don't want to be without you!" I felt tears well up in my eyes and I blinked rapidly to make them disappear. 

"Oh honey, I didn't mean to make you cry," she said as she pulled me into a hug. "It's okay that you feel scared to be without me right now, I just don't want you to miss out on things because of it. That's all." She pulled away and looked at me before saying. "I'm going to take a quick shower and then we can go do something together, okay."

"No Nat! Please!" I whined, the tears coming back. 

"Just really quick, I stink and no one wants that," she laughed. I didn't find it funny though, I wanted to be with her. I was too busy trying to stay connected to Nat that I didn't realize she picked up her phone, or the footsteps behind me. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder that was larger than Nat's. I slightly turned my head to see Steve. "No!" I shouted, knowing what was about to happen as I gripped onto Nat. 

Steve's gentle hands started pulling me away from Nat, pulling me into his chest instead. 

"I love you," I heard Nat say over my cries as she left the room. 

"No! No!" I pounded my fists on Steve's chest, trying to escape. Nat had warned me not to use my powers again so that was not an option. "Please Steve! I want Nat!" I heard him sigh as he held me tightly, restraining my arms. This panic attack wasn't nearly as intense as yesterdays as I knew that Nat was coming back quickly, but there was still a lot of crying and begging. 

It hadn't been more than five minutes when I saw Nat walk back into the room, quickly walking over to me and pulling me into a hug. "Why do you keep leaving me?" I sobbed into her. 

"Shh, shh," was all she responded with.

I luckily saved myself the embarrassment of crying for too much longer as I quickly pulled myself together. "Time for your shower," Nat told me as she pulled away. 

"Please Nat, can I take it later?" I could not stand the thought of being without her again. I knew deep down that this was not normal and that it was a problem but I didn't really care. 

"You can take it a little later but you are showering today, even if I have to do it myself." To be honest, the thought of her helping me calmed me a little bit because then at least she would be with me but my embarrassment of her helping me shower was enough to make my brain turn down the offer. 

We both went into the kitchen to eat something before training. I had been slacking on my training lately and I knew I had to get back to it if I wanted to be an Avenger.

Training actually went surprisingly smoothly, with me sitting right next to Nat, moving objects around the gym with my powers. It felt nice to let my powers free for a little bit but I was glad that Nat found a way to make sure that I didn't have to leave her to train. 

Now it was lunchtime and everything was going smoothly until Clint walked in. 

"We need more cheese and bread," he said as he dug through the fridge and cabinets. "Actually, we also need a lot of stuff. We are out of eggs, salami, lettuce, bananas, apples, and everything else." 

"I have nothing to eat!" Tony complained from his spot on the counter. I scoffed at his dramatics. "Hey Nat, can you head to the grocery store?" Tony asked. 

"Sure, I'll go after we eat," Nat responded. I hadn't been to the store in a while but I didn't have any problem with it, I kind of wanted to get out of the compound anyways. 

We had a quick lunch of leftover lasagna and then Nat and I went to go get ready for the store. Nat got her shoes on so I sat next to her to get mine on. "What're you doing?" she asked me gently. 

"Getting my shoes on to go to the store," I looked at her with a confused expression. It should have been pretty obvious. 

"Hey Wanda," she said in her gentle, I'm not about to like what comes out of her mouth, tone. My face dropped. "I was thinking that you could stay home for this, with your ankle and all, I don't want you getting hurt."

"No," I said as I continued to pull on my shoes. "I want to get out of the compound, I'm coming." Nat put her hands on her hips and looked at me.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the boss," she said with a raised eyebrow. 

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I wanna come!"

"Clint needs help with cleaning I think so I need you to stay here and help him," she was back to her gentle tone. 

"No Tasha! Can I come with you?"

"No honey, you're going to stay here with Clint and the team. I'll be back soon." 

"No!" I whined as I followed her out of our room and to the door. Of course Clint came out of nowhere and stood next to us. "Please Nat! I'll be good! You won't even know I'm there," I pleaded with her. 

"I love you," was all she told me as she kissed my head and pulled out of my grasp, opening the door and slipping out. 

I tried to follow her but it was hard with Clint holding onto me. I felt the panic rise again but this time, I was angry. "Let me go!" I shouted as I turned to Clint and tried to get out of his tight grip. 

"Wanda, calm down!" Clint said as I started struggling. I heard the car start up and leave as Clint dragged me into the living room. I could still catch up with her if I got out of Clint's grasp. 

Screw Nat's rule about no powers, I wasn't going to hurt him. I used a red energy ball to push Clint away from me, gently but enough to move him. 

"Wanda!" he screamed as I took off. Unfortunately, Steve was walking in the door right as I got there and was able to grab me. 

"Let me go!" I yelled as I squirmed. Steve was bigger than Clint and he could manage me easier. The tears were starting to build up but I still felt anger. 

I let my powers flow out of me as I tried to throw Steve off of me. As soon as I moved Steve, Clint was grabbing me from behind, restraining my arms next to my side. I used my powers to again fling him away. 

At some point, Tony ended up joining and soon, the three guys had me on the floor. "No!" I screamed as I tried to get out of their grasp. I was too tired from the endless nights of no sleep and I was too focused on missing Nat that my powers failed me. It also sunk in as to what I did. I used my powers on several members of the team. Nat was going to be pissed. 

Clint and Tony were restraining my arms and waist while Steve was holding down my legs. "Let me go! I want Tasha! Tasha, help me!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face and sobs erupting from my chest. 

I went from angry to incredibly upset in a matter of a few seconds and now I couldn't control my cries. I felt the grips on me grow loose and I felt myself being pulled into a chest. 

One quick look showed me that it was Steve and I was slightly surprised it wasn't Clint. 

"Tasha, please, Tasha!" I mumbled in between my sobs as Steve rocked me. I wanted Tasha more than anything else. Steve mumbled reassurances to me as he rubbed my back but it wasn't the same as Nat.

I couldn't pay attention to anything going on around me as I let out heart-wrenching sobs, feeling nothing but panic and pain, all caused by my need for Tasha. I was hyperventilating and I saw black dots creeping into the edges of my vision. I felt like I couldn't breathe and several times I had to take in large, shaky breaths that felt like they were ripping my lungs apart. 

I heard snippets of a conversation, "Call her," and "She's panicking." I had no idea what was going on but soon, I felt a softer pair of arms pull me into their chest. 

Tasha.

I sobbed in relief as I cried into her. I had no idea how long it had been but I was so glad that Tasha was back. I didn't understand why she kept leaving me but it felt like every time she left me, a tiny part of me was dying.

It took me much longer than last time but I calmed down and realized that I was on the floor of the entryway. Tony, Steve and Clint were surrounding us, sitting and watching. 

I felt Nat's breath on my ear before I heard her stern tone, "Wanda, this is your last chance. If you ever use your powers on someone on this team again, there will be _serious_ consequences. I came home with full intentions to punish you, you're lucky you were so upset or it would've happened." This statement sent me right back into hysterics as I held onto her.

"I'm sorry Tasha! Please don't hate me! I love you and I'm so sorry! Please!" 

It took her a second to respond but she eventually said, "I don't hate you, I love you too. You're okay, shh. Shh."

I felt a wave of relief when she no longer sounded mad. I knew something was wrong with me and that this wasn't normal but I couldn't shake the feeling of utter panic when I wasn't with Nat. 

We slowly moved to the couch where I stayed with my face buried into her chest. I looked up and saw that all of the guys were scattered around the living room. 

"I'm sorry guys," I spoke up softly. "I'm really sorry I used my powers on you, it'll never happen again. I was upset and angry which I know is not an excuse. I'm so sorry."

"No problem little witch," Tony responded. 

"It's okay kiddo," came Clint's reply. 

"Thank you for your apology," Steve smiled slightly at me. I went back to laying on Nat. She used one hand to rub my back, occasionally lifting it to flip a page in the book she was reading. 

I didn't know what was going on but I knew that I needed to fix it soon. I didn't think I could survive this many more panic attacks emotionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> Brief summary: Basically Clint is trying something that worked for Lila when she had separation anxiety, he has Nat leave the room and lets Wanda cry it out, comforting her to show her that everything will be okay, even without Nat. Wanda has intense panic attacks each time that leads her to be sick, causing a lot of worry for everyone around her. The entire team is there to help comfort her but it definitely isn't doing anything to ease her panic as the only person that she wants is Nat. She uses her powers on the team a few times, which Nat isn't happy about, and Wanda knows that something is wrong, she just doesn't know how to fix it. Wanda's separation anxiety has gotten so bad where she doesn't even want to leave Nat's side for a few seconds, causing a lot of meltdowns.
> 
> As always, any feedback is appreciated! I am LOVING all of the awesome responses I get on each of my chapters and I love you all!!! You're all amazing!!! If you would like to see something included, let me know!! I know this chapter was a bit more intense and more on the darker side but it will eventually get better!!
> 
> Hope you all have an amazing weekend!


	9. Mama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanda starts to get a tiny bit better with her separation but it's still really bad. Natasha is beginning to feel the effects of having a child cling to her 24/7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm, panic/anxiety, brief mention of corporal punishment. Be safe! :)
> 
> I really don't know how I feel about this chapter, I erased certain scenes and then added them back in and then erased them and rewrote them. It was a viscous cycle XD. I hope you guys like how I took this chapter! I also know that this chapter took me a bit longer to post but it's almost 7k words so hopefully that makes up for it!!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!!

NATASHA POV:

I felt my heart break more and more as I left Wanda. Her cries echoed inside of my head, reminding me of how terrible I was doing with taking care of her. What kind of mom lets their daughter cry for them? I knew it was needed though as her attachment was getting dangerous, doesn't make it easy though.

I agreed to go to the store to get some groceries and realized that this would be another opportunity to let Wanda spend some time without me. It never took me too long to go shopping so I could let her cry it out for a little bit but hopefully I would be back before a huge panic attack broke out. 

Wanda was already fighting before I left the house but I quickly slipped out and got in the car, hoping that Clint would take care of my baby. It hurt so much as I drove away, knowing that Wanda was most likely right inside, bawling her eyes out but I knew it was what she needed. 

I had just pulled into the parking lot of the store when my phone rang. 

"Hello?" I said as I answered the phone, seeing that it was Tony. I tried to keep my breathing under control as all of the terrible things that could have happened to Wanda flew through my head. Why else would he be calling me?

"Nat, we need you to come home. Wanda is panicking and was using her powers on Clint, Steve and me. She's fine but we had to restrain her to the floor. Now she's crying into Steve. She needs you." I felt anger as I heard about her using her powers on them. I had warned her not to do it again. My anger was being pushed away by my worry for her but I was still preparing myself to punish her once I got home. She knew that it was not okay to use her powers against the family.

"Is everyone else okay?" I asked. "Did she hurt anyone with her powers?"

"Um, Clint tweaked his shoulder as she flung him back but everyone else is fine." My anger surged back as I pulled out of the parking lot and started to head home. Using her powers was already a big no-no but if she hurt someone, that was even worse. 

"Okay, I'll be there soon," I mumbled as I hung up. I was seething with anger but I tried to keep it under control. I didn't know what I should do. I know what Laura would have done if I had hurt either her or Clint but I didn't know if I was ready to do that with Wanda. Grounding wouldn't work either because she wasn't leaving the house. I could put her in the corner but that didn't seem like a big enough punishment for what she did.

I had come to the decision that she would be getting a spanking as I pulled up to the compound. I got out of the car and stormed into the house, wanting to show her that I was not happy with her but I stopped when I saw her sobbing into Steve's chest. All of my anger immediately melted away as I saw the pitiful sight. 

She was shaking as she tried to take big breaths. In between all of this, she was letting out heart breaking sobs. I quickly walked over to her and grabbed her gently, turning her into my chest. 

The sobs changed slightly into a more relieved cry as she gripped onto me. Steve, Tony and Clint all sat down around us, waiting patiently, being there in case of anything. I wanted to tell them that they could leave but they all looked worried and I also wanted them there in case my anger came back. There was no way I could punish her in this state. 

Her breathing and sobs calmed down as she looked around the room. 

I leaned my head down until I was right next to her ear and said, "Wanda, this is your last chance. If you ever use your powers on someone on this team again, there will be _serious_ consequences. I came home with full intentions to punish you, you're lucky you were so upset or it would've happened." I wanted her to know how serious I was about this. I was still toying with the idea of punishing her but I decided to give her one more chance. This was the last one though, if it happened again, she would be sorry. 

My statement made her tears start back up. "I'm sorry Tasha! Please don't hate me! I love you and I'm so sorry! Please!" Her begging made my heart clench and I had to take a few deep breaths to hold back my own tears. I could never hate her! It pained me to hear her beg me not to hate her. 

"I don't hate you, I love you too. You're okay, shh. Shh." This calmed her down again, thank gosh. I slowly stood up, guiding her to the couch. She never once moved her face from my chest and instead held on tighter as we started moving. I would've stayed on the ground but I figured that it probably wasn't that comfortable for her. 

She apologized to the guys and they all quickly accepted it, moving forward. I smiled at all of them and thanked them silently, glad that they weren't going to hold this over my sweet girl. 

I decided to read while Wanda laid on me, trying to make sure that she was comfortable. I felt her body grow heavier and heavier as she fell asleep. Soon she was a dead weight. 

I carefully shifted her onto the couch once I was sure that she was completely asleep as I shifted into a more upright position. She was still gripping onto my shirt but the couch was more comfortable than my chest so hopefully she didn't wake up too sore. 

"How's your shoulder?" I asked Clint quietly. 

"Oh," he said as he rolled his shoulder around, "It's good. I just moved it a bit weird when I moved back."

"You mean when you were thrown back," I grit out, still slightly angry at Wanda.

"She didn't mean to Nat, she just wanted you. She isn't taking this separation technique very well."

"I know," I sighed. "She knows not to use her powers again if she doesn't want to get in trouble," I informed him. "I'm sorry you guys had to deal with that, I thought she knew better."

"It's fine Nat," Tony spoke up. "She apologized, we moved on. She wasn't exactly completely in control when she did it either, she was kind of preoccupied with trying to get to you. We were obstacles, she was trying to remove them. That's it." I was surprised at how genuine Tony was being. Usually, we couldn't get him to be serious about anything. 99% of what came out of his mouth was sarcastic. 

All of the other guys nodded along with Tony. I stroked Wanda's hair as she slept. "What am I going to do?" I thought aloud. "Wanda is getting way too attached to me and she needs to be able to do normal things by herself. Obviously this separation thing isn't working, I don't know what to do."

"It took a few days before we started to see an improvement in Lila," Clint started. "She got more attached to Laura before she got better but she eventually got there. I think we've just got to keep going. If we don't see any improvement in a week, then we'll stop and try something else."

The thought of doing this to Wanda for another week made me nauseous. I don't think I'll be able to listen to her screams and cries any longer than I already have. If it helped her in the long run though, I would do it. 

"Fine, I don't know if Wanda will be able to do it though," I said. Clint looked at me and I knew immediately that he knew that it wasn't Wanda we were worried about, it was me. I don't think I can do it for the rest of the week. The last few times had been terrible already.

We fell into a comfortable silence for the next few hours while Wanda slept. I hated to wake her up but it was 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I knew that if she didn't wake up now, she would get no sleep tonight. She was already going to have a hard time falling asleep due to this late afternoon nap but if she slept longer, it was going to be even harder to sleep tonight.

I gently shook her awake and she went right back to clinging to me. I sighed but didn't say anything as I held onto her. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

As expected, it was extremely hard to get her to sleep that night. She eventually fell asleep on me and I gently moved her off of me so that I could breathe a little bit. I loved Wanda immensely but having her clinging onto me 24/7 got a little bit exhausting. 

I got a little bit of sleep but woke up after Wanda's first nightmare. I managed to get her back to sleep after about an hour, only for her to wake up from another nightmare. This time, she refused to go back to sleep so it was time to get up. 

Luckily her second nightmare woke her up around 5:30 so it wasn't crazy early. 

We had a pretty chill morning, eating breakfast, training a little bit, and then reading. I was dreading today's round of separation technique. I was going to have to come up with yet another excuse to leave her. I think Wanda knew what was coming because she had been extra careful about holding onto me and not letting me move much. 

I felt like the time came way too fast for me to leave her yet again. Clint and I had been texting and we decided that we would try the store again since we still hadn't gotten the necessary groceries. 

Clint came into the living room and we started the process of detaching Wanda from me while she cried. 

"Tasha!" I heard Wanda scream as I quickly left the room. Her sobs were already at a high level and her breathing was getting panicky. 

I quickly got out of the compound and collapsed into the car. Instead of actually going anywhere, I sat in the driver's seat, staring at the field around us. Every muscle in my body was twitching, ready to run back into the room and scoop her up, but I couldn't because that would ruin the technique. 

I sat in the driver's seat and tried not to break down from the immense guilt I was feeling. I left my baby in there while she screamed for me. I needed to be there for her and it absolutely killed me that I couldn't. 

I sat in the car for a bit longer until I could no longer stand it. I got out of the car and quietly walked back into the house to go check on Wanda. I immediately heard her cries and screams coming from the lounge so I slowly walked there. 

I saw her crying on the couch but was slightly surprised to see that Clint was restraining her instead of comforting her. Usually, when I got back, Wanda was crying into one of their chest's but this time, Clint was holding back Wanda who was struggling in his grasp, desperately trying to get away. He was holding her from behind as she tried to push away, nothing was working though which was just making her more and more desperate. 

Wanda's eyes had been closed but they opened for a quick second. Unfortunately, that quick second was long enough for her to see me standing next to the wall. 

"Tasha!" she cried as she fought even harder to try to leave. Clint must have noticed the change in her cry and struggling because he looked up and saw me quickly ducking behind the wall. Now my poor baby was crying for me even harder. "Don't leave me Tasha! Please! I love you! Tasha please I love you so much! Mama please!" I heard that one word and it was enough to make me freeze. 

Tears sprung to my eyes and I nearly collapsed against the wall. She had gone back to calling for 'Tasha' but I had heard it. That one simple word. Wanda said it and now my guilt was a million times worse. I didn't deserve that title. I was letting my baby cry for me while I hid behind a wall like a coward. 

I don't know how much time had passed but before I knew it, Clint was pulling me away from the wall and down the hallway into a room. 

"What were you doing in there?" Clint hissed. I knew that since she saw me, I basically ruined this separation because now she knew we were lying to her. She thought I was at the store but then she saw me in the room. 

I looked at him for a second before I spoke quietly. "She called me 'mama'. Clint, she called me mama." The tears were back and I broke down. I rarely ever break down but the guilt I felt from leaving my daughter in that room was eating me alive. I could still hear her screaming my name, begging me to come back. 

Clint hugged me as he rubbed my back. "Tasha, that's not a bad thing," he whispered to me.

"I know! I never thought anyone would ever call me mama. The red room took that away from me. But to hear Wanda beg me to come back was too much. I can't do this anymore. She needs me! It's killing me! I'm her _mom_ Clint! Her mom. A mom isn't supposed to leave their child when they are upset. I am the worst mom ever! When I took her in, I did it because she needed to be taken care of. Then I started seeing her as a daughter and now she thinks of me as a mother! What if I screw her up Clint? I'm screwing her up right now! I'm basically letting her go through immense panic all because she's a tiny bit attached to me! What am I doing?" I pushed past Clint to try to go back to her but he grabbed me and pulled me back. 

I went to take him down but he stopped me in my frazzled state. "Tasha, Wanda needs this right now. I know you love her and you want to go back to her but she needs to go back to being at least slightly independent. Steve has her right now and she'll be okay. She needs her mom to be okay though and you aren't right now. You need to breathe. She'll be okay. Yes, she called you 'mama' and that's huge Nat!" he told me with a large smile. I smiled back. 

"She only said it once," I pointed out. "She probably didn't mean to and she went back to calling me Tasha right after."

"Doesn't matter, she said it once and she'll go back to it," he told me. "She trusts you enough to call you that. That's not just a random word." My tears had stopped and I felt warmth as I replayed her calling me mama over and over again. I could still hear her cries from outside but I tried to block it out as I thought of that one word. 

"She sees you as a mom Nat and that's awesome! You must be doing something right," he joked and I laughed along lightly. It was incredibly hard to do so with her sobbing in the other room but I needed this. 

Clint sat with me in the room for another 15 minutes before I couldn't do it anymore. "I've got to go get her," I told him. We had been sitting against the wall for awhile, Clint keeping a firm hand around my shoulders to hold me down. I could easily stand up if I wanted to but it was a reminder that Wanda needed this. 

I got up and ran to the living room where Wanda had switched to crying into Steve's chest. I sat down next to him and shifted her to my lap and just let her cry it out as I rocked her. "Shh, shh. Mama's here, she's got you, you're safe."

She gripped onto my shirt as she finished crying but she didn't say anything, instead just focusing on her breathing. 

After she had calmed down completely she spoke quietly, "Please don't leave me again." 

"Oh honey," I breathed out as I pulled her closer to me. She was breaking my heart! How could I ever leave her again? 

Clint and Steve left the room to give me some time alone with my girl. Once they were gone, Wanda spoke again. "I'm sorry I called you mama. It just slipped out. Please don't be mad." She didn't move her face out of my chest as she apologized. 

I was right, she didn't mean to. It hurt to hear her say that but I didn't show it as I responded with, "Don't apologize honey! It's completely okay, I'm not mad at all! In fact, I love that you were comfortable enough to call me that. You don't have to call me that if you don't want to but you can if you want." I didn't want to force her to do anything.

"You ran away after I called you that though," she pointed out. 

"Oh baby, I didn't run away because I was upset. I was just surprised is all."

"I want to call you that but Pietro and mother would be mad at me for replacing them," she said tearfully. 

"I don't think they would be mad at you, they loved you and they would want you to be happy and do what you want. You totally do not have to call me that if you don't want to, it's up to you. If you aren't ready right now, that's fine too. I love you no matter what you call me." She seemed to calm down at this and relaxed further into my embrace. 

I thought Wanda was going to fall asleep due to the several nightmares she had the night before but she didn't. After about half an hour of just sitting on the couch, she pulled away and requested that we go train. 

We went to the gym and she held onto my shirt like she always did, making sure that I didn't leave her. 

"How about we try some hand-to-hand combat today?" I suggested, wanting to do something a bit different than sitting on a bench, moving bean bags with her powers. 

"But I wanna be with you," she whined as she pulled herself closer to me. I grabbed her wrists to pull her in front of me so that I could look at her. 

"Wanda," I started. "I know that you know that this is not normal. Now I don't want you to be ashamed of wanting to be with me but we've got to try to be a little bit more independent okay? I won't leave the room, I'll be a few feet away from you. We can spar a bit and we'll still be touching most of the time. Do you think you can do that for me?" I saw the tears glaze over her eyes as she nodded. Her body also started shaking as she let go of me and backed up slightly. 

My heart continued to break as I watched her sad face. It seemed like she was trying insanely hard not to run back into my arms but this was progress. She was so strong. 

I walked over to the mat with her following closely. I stopped and she nearly ran into me because she was so close. I got into a fighting stance and then helped correct her stance. 

I started with slowly showing her some different moves and then helping her execute them. She was picking them up really quickly and soon, we were sparring lightly. Her eyes still longed for a hug but she had loosened up slightly during the fight. 

"Good job!" I praised as she got a hit in. It made her smile as she continued. 

We fought for about half an hour before I stopped her. "Great job today Wands," I smiled at her. "Let's go take a quick shower and then maybe we can go shopping." We still hadn't gotten any of the things we needed from the store. 

She had gone back to attaching herself to my side and I knew we were going to have a slight problem with the shower but she had shown huge improvement during sparring.

WANDA POV:

Apparently Nat didn't get my subtle hints that I didn't want her to leave as she announced that she was going back to the grocery store the next day. I had gotten barely any sleep the night before and I was _tired._ My body was completely exhausted from both the lack of sleep and the amount of meltdowns I was having daily. I _needed_ Nat. It was all I could think of every hour of the day which made my mind exhausted as well. I was just _so_ tired and it was making it hard to control my emotions. 

Nat had seemed to get over her anger with me really quickly but I knew that I was walking on thin ice and that I would not get another warning. 

The second time she tried to go to the store, my body felt like it was shutting down. I was so tired of fighting her on this but I couldn't help it. I wanted to be normal, I really did, I just couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was going to happen when I was without her. 

Clint tried to calm me down yet again but it wasn't working. I fought as hard as I could without hurting him but my body just wasn't working. I knew using my powers was no longer an option if I didn't want Nat pissed at me so I was at a loss of what to do. 

I was falling into a complete panic attack when I opened my eyes to try to find a way out of this. Tears were blurring my vision but not enough that I didn't see Nat standing to the side of the room. "Tasha!" I yelled, trying to convince her to come over to me. She was in the room! Why wasn't she coming to me? I watched as she moved behind the wall a bit more and Clint grabbed onto me tighter. "Don't leave me Tasha! Please! I love you! Tasha please I love you so much! Mama please!"

I froze for a second once I realized what I had just said. I didn't deserve to call her that, I couldn't replace my old mother and Nat probably didn't want the burden of having to take care of me. I quickly switched back to calling her Tasha, hoping that she wouldn't notice. What if she hated me now? I didn't mean to call her that and I watched in fear as she moved even further away from me. 

Clint asked FRIDAY to get Steve but I barely noticed being shifted into his arms as I was so lost in my thoughts. I was still screaming for Tasha, hoping against anything else that she didn't hear me call her 'mama' and that she didn't hate me. 

Clint ran off, I assume to go talk Natasha down from her anger caused by me calling her that. I can't believe I was so stupid! She doesn't think of me like that! She doesn't want to take care of me and now I just ruined my relationship with my favorite person. 

I still cried and begged for her to come back, praying that she wouldn't leave me after what I did. Steve tried his best to comfort me and it probably would have worked better if I wasn't so afraid that Nat was now gone forever. 

I was beginning to accept that Nat wasn't coming back and was going to stop calling for her when I smelt vanilla and looked up to see her sitting next to Steve on the couch. She held her arms out for me to be passed to her and I immediately clung to her, not saying anything in fear that she would yell at me or stop comforting me. 

"Shh, shh. Mama's here, she's got you, you're safe." So she heard me call her mama but she doesn't seem angry. I felt immense relief as I cried into her, soaking up all of the comfort that she was offering me. I felt so much better knowing that she hadn't left. It didn't mean that she wasn't mad at me for calling her mama but she called herself that so maybe it was okay? 

"Please don't leave me again," I said quietly after I had calmed down. 

"Oh honey," she said sympathetically as she pulled me closer to her, rocking me slowly. I heard some shuffling in the room and realized that Steve and Clint left. 

I knew I had to apologize for what I did earlier, "I'm sorry I called you mama. It just slipped out. Please don't be mad." I couldn't look at her because I was terrified I was going to see her anger. 

"Don't apologize honey!" she said and I was surprised. "It's completely okay, I'm not mad at all! In fact, I love that you were comfortable enough to call me that. You don't have to call me that if you don't want to but you can if you want." She seemed almost disappointed as she told me that I didn't have to call her that. I was so happy that she wasn't mad at me so I glazed over it. 

I was still confused about one thing, "You ran away after I called you that though."

"Oh baby, I didn't run away because I was upset. I was just surprised is all." I was still a little bit confused but as long as she wasn't mad, I didn't care why she left. 

I realized that I really did want to call her mama, I was just scared. She was my mom in every way but blood. She had taken care of me in my darkest of times, she loved me, she made sure I was healthy. Those are all qualities of a mom and I had seen her as my mom for awhile, I just never called her that. I shared my thoughts with her, "I want to call you that but Pietro and mother would be mad at me for replacing them." 

Both of them had continued to show up in my dreams throughout the last few nights, yelling at me for replacing them with Nat, saying I was worthless and weak, calling me terrible names, the list goes on. I was terrified that I would continue to upset them, even though I knew they weren't real. I felt the tears building back up as I thought of my dreams. 

"I don't think they would be mad at you, they loved you and they would want you to be happy and do what you want. You totally do not have to call me that if you don't want to, it's up to you. If you aren't ready right now, that's fine too. I love you no matter what you call me." I felt a wave of calm rush over me at this statement as I relaxed further into her arms, relishing in the comforting embrace. I was glad that calling her my mom wasn't a one time only offer and that if I felt ready later, I could go back to calling her that.

I don't know if I'm ready to face Pietro and mother in my dreams as they will not be happy with the new name Nat gained. Maybe I'll start calling her that in a little bit. I know it's foolish but I really am scared of Pietro and mother in my dreams. I know that they are just things my brain is making up but it's absolutely petrifying when your family is threatening to kill you and saying cruel things that you never could have imagined them saying to you. It's just so _realistic._

I was deep in thought as I laid on Nat that 30 minutes passed by in the blink of an eye. I didn't want to just lay on the couch forever so I asked if we could go train. My powers were building up inside of me and I needed to move. 

I figured that we could do what we had done the past several days where I sat next to Nat as I moved bean bags around the room. 

We got to the gym and she suggested doing hand-to-hand combat. 

"But I wanna be with you," I whined, knowing full well I sounded like a toddler. I tried to pull myself closer to her side but she grabbed my wrists and gently moved me in front of her. 

"Wanda, I know that you know that this is not normal. Now I don't want you to be ashamed of wanting to be with me but we've got to try to be a little bit more independent okay? I won't leave the room, I'll be a few feet away from you. We can spar a bit and we'll still be touching most of the time. Do you think you can do that for me?" She was extremely gentle with me as she talked but I felt bad. I felt like she was getting tired of me being with her every step of the way. I knew it was not normal but I couldn't help it. 

I felt the tears well up in my eyes but I nodded and slowly moved away from her. I actually felt sick as I walked away from her but I knew that I needed to do this and that it was healthy. My body was shaking but I tried to hide it as I got into my fighting stance. I desperately wanted to snap the rubber band that was on my wrist under my shirt but I couldn't do it with Nat watching me. 

I managed to lightly spar with her, trying my hardest to get hits in so that I could be closer to Nat. I was fighting with myself as I wanted to just give up and collapse back into her arms but she looked so proud. 

We sparred for about half an hour before I got tired. Normally, I could just keep going but my body was straining from all of the stress of being away from Nat. Nat praised me as we left the gym, announcing that we would go take showers. I went right back to sticking myself to her side and let my body relax a bit. 

We got to our room and Nat told me that either one of us could go first. "You can go first," I said quietly, releasing my grip on her. She looked at me surprised, probably wondering why I let go of her so easily. To be honest, I really needed to snap the band on my wrist. I was feeling panicky and upset and felt myself getting pulled away from reality, I needed to tether myself back to reality.

"Okay," she said hesitantly. "I'll be right back, you can ask FRIDAY to get me if you need anything."

"Okay," I told her. She gave me a quick hug and then went down the hall into her room to take her shower. I went over to the door to close it before sitting on the bed and pulling up my sleeve, starting to snap the band on my wrist. 

I had been doing it a little less lately since I was constantly around Nat but when she was sleeping, I snapped it a lot, leaving tons of bright red welts all over my wrist. 

I hissed at the stinging sensation as I continued to snap the band. I heard all of the insults Pietro said in my dreams floating through my head as I snapped the band harder and harder. I was upset because I felt like I was a burden to Nat. It was obvious that she was getting upset with me being with her all of the time, she didn't want me anymore. At least that's what I told myself. 

Tears started falling as I snapped the band more and more. I snapped it hard enough that the band broke when it hit my arm, flying across the room. I was shocked as I quickly picked it up and threw it out so that Nat wouldn't see it. I went into my bathroom and decided to take my shower while I waited for Nat.

We usually did it one at a time because I would panic too much without her but I needed to wash the blood off of my arm without her seeing. 

I quickly took my shower and got dressed, making sure that all of the bleeding cuts were covered so that it didn't bleed through my shirt. Normally, I wouldn't hit myself too hard, not wanting to cut my skin all the way to blood but I had really let go. 

When I exited the bathroom, Nat was sitting on my bed, reading. She smiled at me as I walked out. "You took a shower by yourself?" For a 16 year old, this should be a normal thing, unfortunately, it wasn't. 

I nodded as I moved towards her, grabbing a hold of her arm. She pulled me into a hug and then asked, "You ready to go shopping?" I didn't really want to leave the house but I nodded. I was trying to figure out how I was going to stay next to her while we drove as we pulled on our shoes. 

We said goodbye to Clint and Steve as we climbed into the car, her in the driver's spot and me in the passenger side. I held onto her bicep once she started driving and she didn't say anything so I continued to do it. I made sure not to make it so that my grasp restricted her movement as I wanted to make sure that she could drive just fine. 

I was wearing a sweatshirt over a light long sleeve shirt. The car got really hot so I went to pull off my sweatshirt but quickly pulled it back on when I saw the blood stains on my shirt. I had bled through the gauze I wrapped my arms in. 

"You can take off your sweatshirt if you're hot," Nat laughed as she glanced over at me.

"It's okay, I'm not that hot," I lied. We had the heaters on high in the car so I was sweating but I didn't want to risk her seeing the blood. 

We arrived at the store and I had to let go of Nat for a few seconds while we both got out of the car. I quickly ran around the reattach myself to her as we entered the store. 

The store was just as hot and I sighed as we walked through the isles. Nat pulled off her sweater and placed it in the cart. 

"It's a sauna in here," Nat panted as she fanned her shirt. It was freezing outside so all of the stores were putting their heaters on full blast. It would've been comfortable if I wasn't wearing my sweatshirt but I couldn't take it off so I suffered. 

I was sweating and felt extremely hot, my body was not doing well with the heat either. I felt dizzy and sick. Nat kept shooting worried glances in my direction but there was no way I was going to be showing her the blood stains. Then she'd make me see a therapist when I was really fine. 

"Maybe you should take off your sweatshirt," she suggested again. "You look hot."

"I'm not wearing a shirt underneath," I lied. 

"Really? Then why did you try to take it off in the car earlier?" 

Shit. I had just made myself even more suspicious. I decided to ignore the question and shrug instead as we started unloading our cart onto the conveyor belt. 

She looked at me suspiciously but didn't say anything as she paid. We loaded all of our items into the car and then headed back to the compound. 

I had gone back to holding her bicep while we drove, trying to sit as close to her as possible. We got home and the guys helped unload the car and put everything away. My face was still red from being so hot so Nat dragged me to our room once all of the bags were inside. "Get out of that sweatshirt and into a lighter shirt," she told me. "You are going to get heat stroke or something, you don't look too good." 

It was true, I didn't feel good. I never did well when I got too hot, probably because my body was used to the cold weather of Sokovia. I felt nauseous and my head was pounding. 

I didn't want to let go of Nat but I knew I needed to in order to get changed without her seeing the blood so I let her go and then waited for her to leave the room. She didn't.

"You can go Nat, I'll be right out," I told her. 

"I need to make sure you don't pass out from overheating. I won't watch you get dressed, I just want to be in the room in case anything happens," she told me as she turned around. 

After a few seconds of me not moving she turned around to look at me again. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," I said. I was worried that if she turned around she would see my shirt. I also needed to go clean and re wrap the cuts.

Nat walked over to the closet and pulled out a short-sleeve shirt which she tossed to me. "Put this on and then come meet us in the living room. Tell FRIDAY to get me if you feel sick at all okay?" I nodded as she left the room. I don't know why she was making such a big deal over me being hot. It really wasn't that big of a deal if I was a little hot but to Nat, she acted as if the world was ending. 

I looked at the shirt and quickly switched it out for a long sleeved shirt as I went into the bathroom. The panic was coming back from not being near Nat so I was quick to throw out the bloody gauze and re wrap my wrists, slipping the shirt over my body. 

It felt much better not to have my huge sweatshirt on any more. I made a beeline to the living room where I found Nat talking with Clint. They both stopped when I walked in but I didn't think much about it as I climbed onto the couch next to Nat. She wrapped her arm around me as we sat there. 

She pulled me closer to her so that my head was resting on her chest. I felt relaxed as I sat with her and was glad that she didn't seem mad at me or upset that I was sitting with her. She didn't have to pull me closer but she did which meant that she probably didn't care that I was next to her. I knew I needed to recover fast before she started to care though. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> So the "m" word came out. I wasn't sure if this was how I wanted to add it in because I wanted it to be a super happy moment, not a moment of panic but I viewed it as a moment of vulnerability for Wanda and she just wanted her mama. I realized that Nat seems a little upset when Wanda called her that but I promise she's not upset from the word, she is very touched that Wanda called her that, there are just a lot of things setting in for her right now so it's a bit overwhelming. 
> 
> I hope you are all okay with how I had Wanda start calling her mama and I promise it will come back, she's just working through some other stuff right now. Also, do you guys like mama or do you want something different like mom, mother, etc? I was thinking either mom or mama but I'm not sure. Let me know!
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!! I love all of the suggestions that you guys give me, it really helps to fuel my ideas for this story!! If you want to see something added, taken away, changed, let me know!! I'm open to suggestions!!
> 
> I hope you all have a great weekend!!


	10. Silent Suffering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is starting to slowly figure out the self-harm that Wanda does. Wanda is still struggling deeply with leaving Nat but she can't figure out how to explain it, she just knows that she can't leave Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing well!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm, panic/anxiety. Be safe! :)
> 
> This chapter is shorter than the other one but it is still over 6k words. I was blown away by all of the AWESOME feedback I got on the last chapter!!!! Thank you to everyone who has commented, liked, or read my story!! It really is great to see all of these awesome people who are enjoying my work!!!
> 
> Also, no spoilers but I finished WandaVision and it was AMAZING!!!! The entire show was so good, I might end up adding some of the details of the show into my story with some minor tweaks but that's a LONG way's away. XD
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

NATASHA POV:

Wanda's improvements continued throughout the day after our workout. She took a shower by herself without panicking which was huge! I decided that we would take a quick trip to the store to get all of the needed groceries so as soon as we were both showered and dressed, we left the compound. 

Wanda kept close to me in the car which I didn't mind. She held onto my arm but made sure not to restrict my movements for driving. 

She let go of me when we were about halfway there to pull off her sweatshirt. I glanced over at her and saw something that caught my eye. There was a red stain on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. I continued to move my eyes from the road to her sweatshirt to try to see what the stain was caused from but she pulled the sweatshirt back on before I could make out anything. 

I didn't know if I had imagined the stain but I didn't say anything about it as I instead chose to comment on her pulling back on her sweatshirt. "You can take off your sweatshirt if you're hot," I laughed, making sure that she didn't think I was mad at her. 

"It's okay, I'm not that hot," she told me quickly and I knew instantly she was lying. I didn't know why she would lie about not being hot though so I didn't say anything. I knew that it was hot in the car so I reached over to the air conditioning and turned it up slightly to try to cool her down. 

We got to the store and she quickly got out of the car so that she could come right back to my side. I gently moved her to my side so that I could walk as we entered the store. The store was just as hot if not hotter than the car so I pulled off my jacket and threw it in the cart as we continued walking. 

I didn't know why the store was so warm. "It's a sauna in here," I commented as I fanned my shirt a bit, trying to get cooler. I didn't know how Wanda was surviving in this heat with a sweatshirt AND a shirt on. 

As we continued through the store, I noticed that Wanda started to look sick. She didn't say anything as we walked so I just kept my eye on her to see if she got worse. She was red and sweaty and kept swaying like she was dizzy. 

I finally said something when she swayed extra hard, "Maybe you should take off your sweatshirt. You look hot."

"I'm not wearing a shirt on underneath," she told me and I immediately knew that something was going on. She had a shirt on earlier when she was in the car which meant that she was lying to me now. I had yet to figure out why yet. 

"Really?" I started. "Then why did you try to take it off in the car earlier?" I waited for her answer but all I got was a shrug as we headed to checkout. She looked almost like she was going to pass out so I was quick to get her back to the car. 

I turned on the air conditioning in the car to try to cool her off as I felt her warm body next to me. I wondered if she had a fever but she had seemed fine before we left the house.

All of the guys helped with bringing the groceries in the house which gave me time to go get Wanda cooled off. I dragged her to our room and told her to get out of her sweatshirt. I decided to stay in the room since she looked like she might pass out any second. I also wanted to see if she was lying to me about the shirt since I swore I saw her wearing one in the car. 

"You can go Nat, I'll be right out," she told me. I noticed that she had stopped completely with 'mama'. It hurt a little bit but I wanted to give her time, I just hoped that she eventually went back to calling me that. 

"I need to make sure you don't pass out from overheating," I told her. "I won't watch you get dressed, I just want to be in the room in case anything happens." I didn't want her hitting her head again and getting a concussion. I turned to face the door so that she could get dressed but after a few seconds of not hearing any movement, I turned back around. 

Wanda was just standing there, looking deep in thought. "Are you okay?" I asked and she looked at me. 

"Yeah." She still didn't move so I walked over to her closet and pulled out a short-sleeve shirt which I tossed at her. 

"Put this on and then come meet us in the living room. Tell FRIDAY to get me if you feel sick at all okay?" She nodded so I left. I thought that maybe she didn't want me in the room as she got changed so I left, trying to give her privacy. I had been used to her sticking to my side for the past several days so this privacy thing was something I was going to have to get used to again. 

She had started to look a little better once we got to the compound so I was leaning away from the idea of a fever but I wasn't sure. 

I got to the living room to see all of the guys sitting in the living room, having already put away all of the groceries. "Clint, what do you do for a fever?" I asked, wanting to get as much information as possible. When I got sick, which was rarely, I usually slept it off. I had never taken care of a sick kid before. I prayed she wasn't sick but I wanted to be prepared.

"What? Why?" he asked me.

"I think Wanda may have a fever."

"What happened?"

"Nothing, she just seemed very hot, she was red and sweaty and her body was on fire," I informed him.

"Well if she's sick, you can give her some meds to try to lower her fever and then make sure she gets lots of rest and fluids." I nodded as Wanda walked in the room, wearing a long sleeve shirt. I took note that the shirt she was wearing was not the one I had handed to her but I didn't say anything as she sat next to me on the couch. 

She laid on my chest and I realized with relief that she was _much_ cooler than earlier. So maybe she didn't have a fever. I allowed my hand to gently run against her forehead, checking for a fever but she actually felt relatively cool which was good. 

We sat there for a while, watching TV with the team until it was time for dinner. She seemed pretty much back to normal as she ate with us so my worry that she was sick quickly faded away. 

We ate dinner and then played a few games with the team before it was time for bed. Wanda fell asleep quickly to my surprise but it gave me time to do some investigation. 

I very carefully slipped out of Wanda's grasp and went on a silent search for the clothes that she was wearing earlier. I had sworn that there was a bloodstain on her sweatshirt but I wasn't sure. 

I looked through the laundry but her sweatshirt and shirt were not in there. I looked in the bathroom but they weren't in there either. The trashcan in the bathroom was empty. I didn't do it so that meant she had emptied it earlier. This made me even more suspicious that she was hiding something from me but I gave up as it was late. I could ask her about it tomorrow. I climbed back in bed with Wanda and fell asleep.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

We made it through the night with only one nightmare that she managed to calm down from relatively quickly so I would call it a success. 

Lila, Cooper and Nate had all come down with what Laura thinks is the flu so Clint was probably going to have to go back to the farm. I didn't know how I would continue doing the separation technique without him but Wanda was slowly starting to be able to be without me for a little bit so hopefully the worst was behind us. 

"Alright," Clint huffed after turning off his phone. "Laura says all the kids are throwing up and they are all running high fevers. She told me she could take care of it herself but she's overwhelmed so I think I'm going to head back." He seemed slightly upset that he was leaving us but I knew that he was thrilled that he would get to be with his family again. 

"Tell Laura and the kids we miss her," I said from my place in the kitchen. 

"I will," he said as he left the room, probably to go pack. Wanda was glued to my side as I made pancakes, clutching onto my shirt. 

"How'd you sleep after your nightmare?" I asked as I pushed her hair back.

"Good," she mumbled as she rested her arm on my shoulder. She seemed tired and somewhat upset today.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't want Clint to go, I like having him around."

"I know, we should take a trip back to the farm soon! Well, once the kids get better," I laughed. That elicited a tiny giggle from her so I smiled as I turned back to the pancakes. 

We ate a quick breakfast and then headed to the gym to train. Clint was ready to go once we finished training so we said our goodbyes and he texted me, telling me to keep him updated with Wanda's progress on her separation. So he still expected me to carry on with the technique without him, great. 

After the gym, I decided I needed to talk to Wanda. After last night, I had thought a lot about the red stain I had seen, or thought I had seen. Was she hurting herself again? Maybe the stain was old but I still wanted to know when she did it. I then thought back to once we got back from the farm and realized that I don't remember ever seeing her in anything other than a long-sleeve shirt. Even when we were inside, buried under blankets, she was still always wearing a long-sleeve shirt. Maybe she was just cold but I had a slight feeling something else was going on. 

Wanda and I sat in the living room and I turned to face her. "Wanda," I started and she looked at me. 

"Yes?"

"I want you to know that I'm not accusing you of anything, I just want to ask you a few questions okay?" She grew pale and stiff but nodded for me to continue. "Yesterday, when we went to the store, why didn't you take off your sweatshirt?"

"I was cold."

"Then why did you try to take it off in the car but then pull it back on?"

"The car was really hot but as I went to take off the sweatshirt, I remembered that I didn't have a shirt on so I quickly pulled it back on. Then I had no choice but to wear it until we got home." I could tell that she was lying to me straight through her teeth but I didn't want to upset her so I didn't clue her in to my knowing. 

"I'm only asking because I thought I saw you wearing a shirt when we were in the car, I must've imagined it though." She nodded and looked at me curiously. I decided to rip off the band-aid, "Wanda, when you tried taking off your sweatshirt, it looked like there was a red stain on the sleeve. Did something happen that you want to tell me about."

She froze and went even paler before she started talking. "Oh, that was from the farm. I got blood on it from, well, you know, and the stain never washed out." Another lie but I nodded my head and pretended it convinced me. I wasn't happy with the lying but I knew that this was a sensitive topic. Even though she was lying about this, it didn't mean she was back to harming herself. It really could have been from awhile ago, just not long enough ago to reach the farm. 

"So there's nothing going on that you want to talk to me about?" I pushed lightly. 

"Nope, thanks though." This seemed truthful to me which made me feel a little better. She even smiled a bit as she spoke. Maybe I was just overthinking everything and nothing was actually going on. 

Now I could move onto our next subject. "So I was thinking you could try to take your test for school again later today?" I really needed to get her into school but I knew that I couldn't while she was still this attached to me. It would be nice to get a general placement for her though. 

"Nat," she whined. "I don't know why I need it! It's not like I'm going to school!"

"Wanda," I said sternly, "We talked about this already. You _are_ going to school, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. You need to get your education, not to mention you're still a minor which means that I _legally_ have to send you to school."

"But I can't go all day without you," she said quietly as her eyes filled up with tears. My heart clenched as I looked at my sweet girl. 

"I'm not going to send you right now, I'll give you some time to fully recover from everything that happened but I would like it if we could get you to school when it starts up next year." 

She didn't seem happy but she nodded as she pulled herself closer to me. Clint had texted me on his way to the farm and told me that I could practice the separation technique during my last appointment today. Most of my injuries were mostly if not completely healed but I still had one more appointment to ensure that everything healed well and that I can handle everything else by myself. 

It was going to be about an hour and a half appointment, a long time for me to be without Wanda. I also didn't have Clint to comfort Wanda so I was going to have to ask Tony or Steve to watch her. I trusted both of them to handle Wanda but I knew Wanda wasn't as comfortable around either of them yet as she was with Clint. Maybe I could get Pepper to come over and help. 

My appointment wasn't for another hour or so, so I had Wanda and I take quick showers before eating lunch. Wanda took the shower without complaints so I had hope that she would be fine without me for this appointment. I texted Pepper before my shower, asking if she was available to come watch Wanda for about two hours and she immediately said that she was completely free and that she would love to.

Wanda still didn't know about my doctor's appointment but I didn't want to tell her until just before I left so that she didn't have a lot of time to freak out. I realized that I still hadn't really figured out if Wanda was willing to take her school test later but I was about to leave so it could wait until another time.

Pepper texted me that she arrived and she headed up to the living room where Wanda and I were sitting. "Hey Pepper!" Wanda smiled as she walked in the room. "What are you doing here?"

Pepper looked at me and I gave her a slight shake of my head. I didn't want Wanda to know I was leaving yet. I hoped that it would go better than it had been going when I left but if it didn't, I didn't want her to have to suffer longer. 

"I wanted to come visit!" she responded excitedly. "I have been so busy with SI, I wanted to come take a break and see my favorite girls!" She gave Wanda a huge hug and then hugged me. It was so nice having another woman in the building. Wanda and I were the only two and it was nice to have Pepper here again.

She used to live here but ever since the company got big again, she had to go live closer to headquarters so that she didn't have as long of a commute. 

It was now time for me to head to my appointment and I was dreading leaving Wanda _again._ A tiny part of me broke every time I heard her crying for me. Wanda was lying against my chest so I gently pushed her up so that she could look at me. 

"Hey Wanda, so I have my final doctor's appointment in a few minutes so I'm going to head out and you can hang with Pepper." Her face dropped. 

"That's why she's here?" she yelled, starting to panic. 

"Calm down Wanda, deep breaths," I told her, trying to prevent a major meltdown. She listened to me and calmed down slightly but was still gripping onto my arms. 

I had told Pepper earlier that Wanda was not easy to watch when she had a meltdown and that she may need to take a hands-on approach in order for me to leave. I looked at Pepper and she took the hint as she slowly moved next to me and Wanda, starting to gently coax Wanda away from me. 

"Wanda, we can watch TV or play games if you want. We can even bake or take a walk." Pepper was trying hard to get Wanda to stay calm but it wasn't working. 

"No! I don't want to do those things, I want to stay with you Tasha! I have been so good, I've been taking showers by myself and trying to stay away from you! Please!" So that's why she was getting better at being away from me. It wasn't because she wanted to but because she thought that that was what I wanted. Of course I wanted her to get back to normal and be comfortable with being by herself. She needed the independence, but I had no problem spending time with her. It was actually kind of nice. 

"I know Wanda, you have been doing very good with being by yourself. I need to go to my appointment though so here is another opportunity for you to practice. I'll be in the same building and you have Pepper here. If you want, we can see if Steve or Tony can come spend time with you."

"But I want you!" The tears had started and she was trying to pull herself back into my arms. I looked at Pepper and she placed a hand on Wanda's shoulder. 

"C'mon Wanda! We can have fun, we'll do something and you won't even realize she's gone!" It sounded like we were talking to a preschooler who was afraid to leave their mother on the first day of school so it was hard to remember that it was really a 16 year old who was absolutely terrified of leaving. She had gone through so much, I didn't blame her for wanting to be close to someone. 

Wanda didn't listen to anything else Pepper said so I had to forcefully remove her from me and gently place her into Pepper's embrace, all while she was screaming and crying, trying to claw her way into my arms. "I love you honey," I said as I gave her a quick kiss on her head and left the room. 

Again, her screams pulled on my heartstrings as I walked down the hallway. I heard her yelling, "I need you!" and I had to bite down on my tongue to prevent a sob from escaping. This was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life, leaving my baby while she obviously wanted me. I just prayed that she would get over this soon.

PEPPER POV:

I had gotten a text from Nat, asking if I could come watch Wanda. I was slightly confused but quickly responded, telling her that I would love to. I thought that Wanda was 16, slightly old for a babysitter in my opinion but maybe I was wrong. 

The last time I had seen her, she cried in my arms for hours after finding out about Nat getting hurt. The poor girl had gone through so much within her lifetime, I couldn't even imagine going through all that loss and pain. 

Natasha then sent me a more detailed text explaining everything that had been going on with Wanda and her separation anxiety. Then it made much more sense as to why she wanted me to come "watch her." She told me to expect a lot of screaming and crying. She told me that she may even attempt to use her powers on me but that she should know better not to. 

I used to live at the compound with Tony but then I had to move upstate so that I could be closer to SI headquarters as I had millions of meetings every day. I finally had a break that would last a few days but I was trying to work out my schedule so that I would only have to be upstate maybe 1-2 times a week so that I could move back into the compound. I missed everyone so much, I was ready to go home. 

I immediately got in the car and headed down there to make sure that I was there in time for Nat's appointment. Luckily, I had already been close to the compound because I had a meeting that was located further out of town, meaning that I didn't need to be right by headquarters. If I was at my house near SI, it would have taken me nearly 3 hours to get to the compound so I was glad I was already close. 

When I arrived, I texted Nat and then headed up to the living room to find Wanda lying against Nat. I kind of expected it after Nat told me all about how close she had stuck to her side the past couple of weeks. 

Nat started trying to convince her that she could hang out with me while she went to her appointment but Wanda went into instant panic-mode. Nothing we said made Wanda let go of Nat so finally, I had to step in. Nat helped me maneuver Wanda out of her grasp and into mine. 

"Tasha! Tasha please!" Wanda screamed at the top of her lungs between her sobs as Nat left the room. I had Wanda's back pressed against my chest as she squirmed, trying desperately to get to Nat. 

I tried to rock her slowly to calm her down but she only sobbed harder. With little difficulty, I was able to maneuver Wanda so that she was now crying into my chest as I pressed myself against the back of the couch to hold her. 

She had stopped trying to leave my grasp but still hadn't stopped crying for Nat. "Tasha, please come back! I love you! Tasha, I'm sorry!" Her cries broke my heart and I assured her that Nat loved her too and that she would be back soon, nothing did anything to calm her down though. 

After about an hour of her sobbing for Tasha, she switched to something that surprised me. I heard her say "mama" a few times and I wondered if she had ever called Nat that before. "Mama, I miss you! Please come back! Mama!" she cried as I continued to run my fingers through her hair while the other hand rubbed her back. 

I would have to ask Nat when she got back. She switched between "mama" and "Tasha," begging her to come back and constantly apologizing. I didn't know what she was apologizing for but it was heartbreaking. 

Wanda's sobs all of a sudden got louder and harsher and I realized she was having a panic attack. She turned her head out of my chest and instead was resting it on my shoulder to try to breathe while she coughed. She was crying so hard she was making it so that she couldn't breathe. 

"Calm down sweetie, you're okay," I told her as I tried to look at her face. "Oh honey," I mumbled as I continued to rock her, trying to calm her down. 

Wanda was starting to panic even more and I was getting worried so I was so glad when Nat re-entered the room. Wanda saw her almost immediately and picked her head up off of my shoulder as she ran into her arms. 

"I'm here baby, I'm sorry. You did so good, I love you so much," Nat murmured as she hugged Wanda. Nat moved over to the couch and let Wanda lay on her as she sobbed. 

She pulled out her phone and sent me a quick text, "What happened?"

"She cried the entire time you were gone but she only started really panicking about ten minutes ago. I don't know what changed."

"She probably worked herself up. She should calm down soon, thanks for watching her."

"No problem, I'll do it any time." Nat smiled at me as she sent another text. 

"Doctors said everything is healing nicely. I should be back to 100% in about a week or so. My ribs just need a little more time to completely heal."

"That's awesome Nat! Oh, Wanda also called you "mama" while she was crying. Has that ever happened before?" I watched Nat's reaction and saw her smile, look at Wanda, and then go back to texting me. 

"She called me that once, the other day. She immediately panicked, thinking that I would hate her for it. She went back to saying Tasha right after though. I talked to her about it and let her know that it was her decision whether or not she wanted to call me that."

"Congrats Nat, it's a girl!" She smiled and laughed once she read the text and then she put her phone back, turning all of her attention to Wanda. I watched as Nat ran her fingers through Wanda's hair and murmured to her, immediately calming her down. 

I decided to get up and go find Tony once Wanda had calmed down, wanting to give her some alone time with Nat. I smiled as I thought of how happy and calm Nat had seemed when around Wanda and vice versa. I think they both finally got what they needed. 

WANDA POV:

Nat had questioned me about the sweatshirt fiasco and I panicked slightly. She was on to me. If I wasn't careful, she was going to figure out about the rubber band. I couldn't have that happening so I lied about everything that she asked me. 

Luckily, she dropped it after awhile and didn't seem too suspicious so hopefully I got away with it. She would think I was so weak if she found out. 

We were just sitting on the couch when Pepper walked in. I had missed her a lot so I was glad she was back. The last time she had seen me, I was kind of a mess but she didn't mention it which was good. We hugged and then she hung out with us. I didn't know why she was here but it was nice to have her back. 

"Hey Wanda," Nat spoke up after a little bit and I turned to face her, "So I have my final doctor's appointment in a few minutes so I'm going to head out and you can hang with Pepper." 

I felt panic bubble inside of me. "That's why she's here?" I yelled as I turned to look at Pepper. My panic was coming out as anger, I didn't want to leave her again. I couldn't do this anymore.

"Calm down Wanda, deep breaths," she told me gently and I tried to take deep breaths. I felt myself become a little more mellow but I still had a death grip on Nat, terrified she was going to leave me. 

"Wanda," Pepper started, "We can watch TV or play games if you want. We can even bake or take a walk."

"No!" I snapped again. "I don't want to do those things, I want to stay with you Tasha! I have been so good, I've been taking showers by myself and trying to stay away from you! Please!" I tried pointing out my progress to make Nat rethink leaving me but it didn't work. 

"I know Wanda, you have been doing very good with being by yourself. I need to go to my appointment though so here is another opportunity for you to practice." I didn't want another opportunity to practice but Nat started talking again before I could get a word out, "I'll be in the same building and you have Pepper here. If you want, we can see if Steve or Tony can come spend time with you." 

I didn't want any of this, I just wanted her. "But I want you!" I cried, trying to pull my body into her arms but she was holding me up. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I tried to jerk away but the hand didn't move. 

"C'mon Wanda! We can have fun, we'll do something and you won't even realize she's gone!" No, no, no, that's not what I wanted! I wanted Nat, I couldn't go without Nat again!

Then Nat started pushing me into Pepper's arms gently. I desperately tried to hold onto her but she moved out from under my grasp, leaving me sobbing in Pepper's arms. "Tasha! Don't leave! Tasha please! I need you!" I cried as she left the room, leaving me alone with Pepper. 

"I love you honey," she said right before she left, kissing my head. I felt Pepper rock me but it did nothing to calm me down. I was tired of this, all I wanted was Nat and for some reason, she was set on leaving me alone every day. It was killing me! 

At first I had struggled in Pepper's grasp to try to reach Nat but I knew that I wasn't going to win so I settled with resting against her and sobbing out all of the pain. I had contemplated using my powers on her but I didn't want to hurt Pepper and I knew that I was on my last warning with Nat. 

At one point, Pepper turned me so that I was facing her but all I did was rest my head on her shoulder as I cried into her chest, still begging for Nat. 

It felt like way longer than she had ever left me before and I couldn't take it anymore. "Mama please!" I knew I reverted back to the baby-ish phrase but I was hoping that it would be enough to send Nat back. "Mama, I miss you! Please come back! Mama!" Nothing I said made her come back and I started to panic. I didn't just want her, I _needed_ her and she wasn't here. 

Pepper rubbed my back and spoke to me gently but it only made me more desperate for Nat. Pepper was great, I loved her, but no one could replace Nat and I wanted her so bad. I was having flashbacks of Nat being hurt in the med-bay while Pepper held me and it was doing nothing to calm me down. 

I realized I couldn't breathe so I twisted my head so that it was resting on Pepper's shoulder, facing away from her, as I tried to take in deep breaths of fresh air. "Calm down sweetie, you're okay," I heard Pepper tell me. "Oh honey," she said sympathetically as she brushed my hair out of my face. 

I stayed this way for a few minutes until I saw Nat walk in the door. I was quick to get off of Pep's lap and run into Nat's arms. I immediately felt better but I was still panicking slightly. 

"I'm here baby, I'm sorry. You did so good, I love you so much." Nat moved to the couch and I followed her and then crashed into her, sobbing and holding onto her for dear life, praying that she didn't leave again. I thought I was getting better but for some reason, I absolutely panicked when she left this time. 

Nat rubbed my back and told me that I was okay over and over again until I felt my breathing go back to normal and my crying stopped. Every time I had these separation attacks, it left me feeling exhausted and vulnerable. 

I heard Pepper leave but didn't care as I laid with my head on Nat's chest. I knew if I slept now, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight but it's not like I got much sleep at night anyways so with that thought in mind, I let my eyes close as I fell asleep in the arms of my favorite person. 

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I woke up after yet another nightmare but I managed not to cry or panic, just jolting awake and staying near Nat. Pietro had been screaming at me for calling Nat "mama." It's not like I blamed him, I felt really guilty for replacing mother but I felt that way towards Nat, it just slipped out.

I picked my head up and saw that Nat was sleeping as well. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was already 5:30, meaning that we would get no sleep tonight. It was also nearing dinner time so I gently shook Nat awake.

"Nat," I whispered while shaking her shoulder. Her eyes shot open as she did a quick scan of the room. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just figured I should wake you up or we won't get any sleep tonight. It's already 5:30."

"Oh," she said as she rubbed her eyes and sat up completely. "Well let's go get some food in you." I got off of the couch and managed to walk next to her without touching her. I wanted to try to get better at not being attached to her for every second of the day. 

Tony, Steve, Rhodey, Pepper and Vision were in the kitchen, finishing serving dinner. They all looked up as we walked in and shot us smiles as they went back to what they were doing. 

I sat down next to Nat as I rubbed my wrist. The wounds were starting to heal and scab over which meant that they itched, _a lot._ I had to be subtle about it so that no one noticed. 

Everyone slowly started to sit around the table and serve themselves food. We had chicken and salad. I was feeling slightly nauseous but I still managed to eat a decent serving, at least a good enough amount to please Nat. 

I was still feeling a little shaky from my nightmare so once everyone finished dinner, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I was leaving Nat but that was okay with me for the moment, I needed some privacy. 

I locked the door and slid down against the wall, bringing my knees up to my chin. I tried to resist but I could no longer hold back as I vomited in the toilet. My stomach couldn't handle food right now. That only made my guilt worse so I slid my sleeve up my arm and started snapping the new rubber band on my wrist. This one stung more because it was not stretched out like the last one was. 

I relished in the feeling of the sting as I made new, bright red marks up and down my wrists. I desperately wanted to tell Nat, tell her that I needed help, but I couldn't find a way to do it and I didn't want her to control me. 

I was terrified of this path that I was going back down as I was starting to feel the need to die again but I just couldn't find a way to tell Nat. I just needed to hold on a little longer until I could figure something out. I wanted reassurance that I would be okay, but it was hard to get that if you couldn't explain what you needed. I just wanted Nat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!!
> 
> I had a request to do a separate story about Nat and Laura which I would love to do!! I've been thinking about doing that but I want to make sure that people actually want to read it before I take the time to write it. 😂 It may take me a little bit to actually start and publish it but I think I will make it another story in this series, just know that Wanda would not be involved. Let me know if you guys would like to read that!
> 
> As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!! If you would like to see anything added, taken away, changed, whatever, let me know!! I'm open to suggestions!! I wanted to put a little reminder that anything you guys request will eventually be added, it just may take me a little while to incorporate it, but I haven't forgotten!! You can feel free to re-request it though if you'd like! :)
> 
> Hope you all have a great weekend!!


	11. Loss of Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha finally figures out about the self-harm and realizes that Wanda can no longer go on with as many nightmares as she is having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!! I hope you are all doing well!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm, eating disorder comments, panic/anxiety. Be safe!
> 
> This is later than I normally update and it's only 6k words so I'm sorry but I'm going to try to get another chapter out quicker than this one!! This chapter is a bit of a sad one but Wanda is going to be happy again soon!! I have a few more chapters planned with more depressing stuff similar to this but then she will be on the mend!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

NATASHA POV:

Wanda and I ate dinner with the team and everything was going well until Wanda excused herself. She quietly got up to leave so after a few seconds, I also slipped out of the room to follow her, just to make sure that she was okay. 

I heard sniffling coming from the bathroom on our floor so I quietly sat next to the door, listening for sounds of vomiting. I heard her gag and then throw up and I sighed, she had been doing so good. I was about to knock on the door when I heard another noise. It sounded like a loud snapping noise. I had no idea what the sound was though.

I stood up to let her know of my presence but before I could knock, the door opened and Wanda emerged. Her eyes grew wide as she looked at me, "How long have you been out here?" she questioned nervously. 

"For a while," I told her calmly. "I heard you get sick."

"Why didn't you tell me you were out here?" she questioned as she started to get angry.

"Calm down Wanda, I'm not mad," I told her.

"I can't believe you would invade my privacy like that! And before you say anything, I didn't force myself to get sick, my stomach just couldn't handle the food," she grumbled angrily as she brushed past me and headed to our room. 

"Hey!" I yelled. She ignored me as she continued walking. "Wanda!" I jogged and caught up with her. I grabbed her arm to turn her around to face me. "I'm not angry about you getting sick but you are starting to piss me off." Some of the anger disappeared from her face so I took a deep breath and started again. "Wanda, I'm not mad at you or even disappointed, sometimes food just doesn't agree with us, that's totally fine. I wanted to give you privacy and not just barge into the bathroom, I just needed to stay to make sure I was here if you needed me. I trust you, I wasn't there to babysit you, I was just there to make sure that I was there if you needed me, that's all."

"Sorry," she grumbled as she looked at the floor.

She still seemed angry so I said, "How about you go sit in our room for a little bit, just to calm down?" She looked at me and then pulled herself out of my grasp as she stormed down the hall and into our room. She didn't slam the door which surprised me but I did hear faint cries coming from the room. I sighed as I rubbed a hand over my face, that blew way out of proportion really quickly. 

I figured I would give her some time to cool down before I went in there, she probably didn't want to see me right now. Instead, I made my way back to the kitchen where everyone was still sitting around the table, talking. I slid back in my chair and listened to the conversation.

Tony nudged my leg under the table which made me look up at him. "She good?" he mouthed and I nodded. He seemed to want to know more but I looked away and joined in the conversation before he could ask any more questions. 

After about 15 minutes, I decided that Wanda probably had enough time to cool down so I got up and headed to her room. 

I opened the door and what I saw shocked me. Wanda was sitting on the bed, tears streaming down her face, snapping a band on her wrist that was littered with bright red marks. "Wanda! What are you doing?" 

She looked up at me shocked and shoved her sleeves down to cover her bloody wrists. I rushed over to her and tried to look at her wrists but she pulled away. "Wanda, give me your wrists!" I told her sternly. 

She shook her head and backed up so I quickly shot my hand out and grabbed a hold of her left wrist. I shoved her sleeve up her arm and observed all of the red marks. I turned her wrist around in my hands as she struggled to get away. 

"Nat please!" she was begging as I grabbed onto her other wrist. There were several red marks on her other wrist too and I had to steady my shaking hands as I continued looking at all of the wounds.

I saw the 7 scars from when she attempted suicide but then there were several other smaller wounds, all in varying levels of healing. Some of them were faint lines, some were scabbed over, some were bright red, and others were bleeding. "Oh Wanda," I whispered as I looked at her. She was sobbing as she tried to curl into herself. 

I didn't know what to say as I watched the blood seep out of her wounds. Wanda had stopped struggling and was looking at the floor, sobbing. I gently removed the rubber band that was stained red off of her wrists and threw it in the trash can. 

"Wanda," I said quietly, but loud enough that she could hear me over her cries. "Honey, calm down, I'm not mad." I released her wrists and sat next to her on the bed, pulling her into a side hug. She continued to look at the ground and tensed up when I came near her. "Baby, can you talk to me?" 

She didn't respond as she still avoided looking at me. "Wanda," I pushed gently. I carefully grabbed her chin and turned it to face me, very aware that I was dealing with a sensitive problem right now.

Her eyes met mine and I saw that they were full of sadness and fear. I had a burning question that I could no longer hold back, "Honey, how long have you been doing this?" 

She quickly looked down and I had to swallow the bile that was crawling up my throat. "Wanda, how long?" my voice had become a whisper. 

"Since before we left the farm," she mumbled quietly and I felt my heart drop. We left the farm weeks ago, how had she been doing this for this long? How did I never notice it? Oh my gosh, I'm a terrible mom! She was hurting herself the entire time and I never noticed! "I'm sorry," she choked out and I realized I was showing some of the horror on my face. 

"Shh, it's okay honey. Don't apologize," I told her as I pulled her back into a hug, never wanting to let her go. 

I knew I needed to clean her wrists so I gently helped her up as I led her into the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the tub as I started to disinfect all of the wounds. 

"Why didn't you come talk to me baby?" I asked her quietly as I started to wrap gauze around her wrists.

"I wanted to, I really did Nat! I just couldn't! I didn't know how to tell you that I was being this weak again." My heart broke when I heard her call herself weak. 

I crouched down in front of her, grabbed her hands and looked up at her, "Wanda Maximoff, you are NOT weak, you are so incredibly strong. I love you, Clint loves you, the entire team loves you, we never want to see you get hurt." This made her cry harder as she looked away. I knew she was in a fragile state right now so I finished wrapping her wrists and then I led her into the bedroom.

"Let's get some sleep," I told her as I helped her get into bed. She was still crying as she laid her head on the pillow. She pulled the comforter up to her chin and I watched helplessly as the blankets shook from her sobs. 

"Wanda, baby, do you want to talk?" I asked her as she continued to cry. I rubbed her back to try to calm her down but nothing I did seemed to help. "We don't have to go to bed quite yet if you don't want to. We could go watch a movie or play a game, whatever you want." She didn't say anything but didn't try to get up. 

I sighed as I crawled out of bed to walk around to face her. "Sweetheart," I said as I brushed the hair out of her face, "It's okay. What's wrong? I can't read minds, you've gotta talk to me," I practically begged.

She shook her head and tried to turn the other way. Before she was able to turn completely, I scooted in bed next to her and pulled her into my chest. "Shh, honey. I love you," I told her as she sobbed into my chest. 

She ended up slowly calming down until she was able to fall asleep on me. I had my phone with me so I pulled it out and sent a quick text to Tony, asking him if he could come to our room. I needed to catch him up to everything that had just happened, especially since he was the one who had helped with her in the past. If Clint was here, I would ask him but unfortunately, he was still at the farm. 

He responded quickly saying that he was on his way. 

"What's going on?" he whispered as he slipped into the room. 

"Wanda is self-harming again," I started, not beating around the bush. 

"What? When?" he asked worriedly as he walked around the bed so that I could see him.

"Apparently she has been doing it since right before we left the farm. I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner!" 

"What has she been doing?" he asked as he looked at her.

"Rubber band," I explained simply.

"Okay, so not bad," he sighed.

"Tony!" I snapped. "I don't care what she is using, she is still purposefully hurting herself, that is not okay!"

"I know! I didn't mean it like that Natasha," Tony said apologetically. 

"I don't know what to do, we can't restrain her because I promised her at the farm that I would never do that again." 

Tony huffed as he said, "Well one, she needs a therapist. I don't care who it is, she needs someone. We can look for someone who she feels comfortable with but I have a few people with SI who are more than qualified. I can contact them. And two, I don't think we need to restrain her. We should keep an eye on her but restraining her may just make her more upset. I'm sorry Nat, all of us should have been more watchful."

"Not your fault," I started with, "I don't know if Wanda is going to talk to a therapist. I've tried several times to convince her to talk to one and she has always brushed it off or said no. Forcing her to go won't help her, if she doesn't want to be there, she won't talk."

"Well that's all I can think of. We could put her on an anti-depressive medication but usually those can have some serious side-effects and I'm not sure Wanda needs that right now."

"I can try to convince her to do therapy, if you could contact those people at SI, that would be great," I sighed as I looked at Wanda. 

"Of course," he nodded as he pulled out his phone, probably making a note for later. "Do you need anything else?" he asked me. 

"No, thanks Tones," I thanked sincerely. He nodded as he left the room after casting one last look at Wanda. 

I tried to gently brush away the tear tracks on her face but all that did was make her whine and turn her head so I stopped and let her curl back into my chest.

I still hadn't had time to process everything that had just happened so I sat back as I thought through the latest events. I texted Clint, telling him everything that had happened, and it took a lot of convincing to force him to stay home and not get in the car and rush over. 

I got no sleep which was fine because around midnight, Wanda woke up from a nightmare. She jolted awake with a scream as she scrambled to get out of my arms. I didn't hold her back because I knew that it could panic her. I watched as she got off of the bed and walked to the window, opening it to get some fresh air. 

I got up and sat next to her but didn't touch her. She seemed to not even notice me as she took large breaths. I didn't want to startle her so I cleared my throat gently, enough to let her know of my presence but not enough to scare her. 

She turned her head to face me slightly but turned back to the window. There were tears in her eyes but she wasn't crying. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, looking outside. She shook her head as she sat down next to me.

"I'm so sorry for earlier," she told me quietly while she fidgeted with her rings.

I put my hand over her hands to stop her, "Wanda, it's okay. I do want to talk a little bit about it later but it does not have to be in the middle of the night. I'm not upset, I'm not disappointed, I'm not angry, I am a little worried, I'll admit but I get to do that, I'm your mom," I smiled as I nudged her shoulder. She smiled back at me and I silently cheered. 

"Are you ready to try to sleep again or do you want to sit here a little longer?" I asked. 

"Sit here if that's okay?" she asked sheepishly.

"That is completely okay," I told her. I felt her lean against my shoulder and I looked down to see her eyes open. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she leaned further into me. 

We sat there for a while until Wanda sat up, no longer leaning against me. "You ready for bed?" I asked as I watched her carefully. 

She didn't say anything but nodded slightly and I got up to follow her back to bed. She crawled in and I got in next to her. Instead of scooting next to my side like she normally does, she turned away from me and curled into a ball. 

"You okay?" I asked her quietly as I rubbed her back. She nodded but didn't turn towards me. 

I stayed awake until I heard her breathing even out, then I turned onto my back and stared up at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to do with Wanda. 

I managed to fall asleep but not for long as I woke up to whimpers around 2:30. I rolled over to see Wanda twisting and turning in her sleep, face screwed up in a look of pain and panic. 

"Wanda," I said gently as I shook her. I felt so helpless as I watched her have another nightmare in the same night. She just couldn't catch a break. 

I shook her harder until she shot up, gasping for air as the crying started. "Shh, it's okay honey," I told her while I rubbed her back. 

She got off of the bed quickly and started pacing the length of the room. I sat on the bed and calmly watched her, not speaking. She was shaking with the force of her sobs but she continued to walk. I knew that she was getting overwhelmed and tired with having nightmares every, single, night. And not even that, sometimes even more than one nightmare a night. 

"I can't do this anymore," I heard Wanda start to mutter as she brought her hands up to pull at her hair. Her fingers were intertwined with her hair by her scalp and I watched as her hands clenched and un-clenched. 

I was worried she was going to hurt herself so I spoke up gently, "Wanda, honey, you need to calm down. Talk to me, tell me what's going on."

"I can't, I can't do this anymore. I'm done, please, make it stop." She didn't seem to be hearing me as her muttering became more and more frantic. I stood up as the red mist started to flow out of her hands. 

I walked around to the wall of the room so that she could see me. "Baby, I need you to take some deep breaths. Can you calm down for a second and talk to me? You're safe, you're in the compound with me. It's okay Wanda, deep breaths. In and out, just like this," I tried to coach her through some breathing exercises from my place on the wall but she just got more and more frantic.

Her hands had moved down from her hair and were now pulling at the gauze on her wrists. I needed to stop that before she injured the still healing wounds. 

I slowly walked up to her, approaching her as though she was a frightened animal, with my hands out. She had stopped pacing and looked at me, tears streaming down her face.

"I can't do this anymore mama," she whimpered. "I can't keep seeing the disappointment. I can't watch them die over and over again." She was crying and shaking and my heart clenched as I watched her, wanting nothing more than to hug her but I know she was still in panic mode. 

"Okay Wanda, you're doing great. Just take some big deep breaths and we can relax okay?" I knew that there was no way I was going to get her back to sleep tonight. She was already sleep deprived, the nightmares were only making it much worse. I needed to get her to sleep.

There was still a light red mist around her hands as she collapsed onto her knees, sobbing even harder. 

I knelt down next to her and reached my arm out to gently hold her shoulder, a gentle warning that I was near her. She didn't panic or flinch away so I moved closer and pulled her into a hug. She gripped onto my shirt as she sobbed into my shoulder. 

One of my hands was rubbing her back while the other one was placed on the back of her head, holding it against my shoulder. 

We stayed this way for a long time. She finally stopped crying but she was still shaking and very upset. I had a feeling that she stopped crying because she was dehydrated and simply had no more water to spare, not because she was feeling better. I knew it was time to force her to talk but I also knew that it was not going to be an easy conversation.

WANDA POV:

I decided that it was finally time to leave the bathroom after I had covered my wrists with bright red marks. I opened the door only to be met with Nat standing there. How much had she heard? I felt myself start to panic a little bit but she didn't look too worried so maybe I got away with it. "How long have you been out here?" I asked her, trying to figure out what she knew or might know.

"For a while. I heard you get sick." I felt myself get mad at this. Did she really trust me that little that she came to listen in on me after I left the table?

"Why didn't you tell me you were out here?" I was also freaking out over the possibility of her hearing me self-harm which I was reflecting with anger.

"Calm down Wanda, I'm not mad," she told me but it did nothing to dissolve my anger.

"I can't believe you would invade my privacy like that!" Feeling like I had to defend myself, I added, "And before you say anything, I didn't force myself to get sick, my stomach just couldn't handle the food." My voice was laced with anger as I spoke. I shoved my way past Nat to go to our room where I would _hopefully_ get some privacy. 

"Hey!" I heard Nat yell but I didn't stop or even hesitate as I continued down the hall. "Wanda!" I felt her hand on my arm as she turned me to face her. I glared at her as she said, "I'm not angry about you getting sick but you are starting to piss me off." I felt surprised at this and felt my expression neutralize slightly. "Wanda, I'm not mad at you or even disappointed, sometimes food just doesn't agree with us, that's totally fine. I wanted to give you privacy and not just barge into the bathroom, I just needed to make sure I was here if you needed me. I trust you, I wasn't there to babysit you, I was just there to make sure I was there if you needed me, that's all," she repeated to make sure that I understood her reasoning of being outside of the bathroom.

"Sorry," I mumbled, not able to meet her eyes. I was still slightly angry but now I just felt guilty for blowing up at her. 

"How about you go sit in our room for a little bit, just to calm down?" This comment ignited the anger inside of me real quick. She was sending me to my room? I didn't want to argue anymore so I yanked my arm out of her grasp and stormed to my room.

I made sure to quietly close the door because I remembered that Nat had gotten mad at me when I slammed the door at the farm. Sure she said that that was because we weren't in our house but this technically wasn't my house either. I was mad with Nat but I didn't necessarily want to get on her bad side.

I threw myself onto my bed as I cried, thinking of how I just ruined my relationship with Nat and that she hates me now. My wrists weren't stinging as bad anymore as they were earlier so I sat up and rolled up my sleeves, taking the rubber band and snapping it against the tender skin.

I went for a good 10 minutes, and I was so focused on snapping the band all over my wrists that I never heard the footsteps outside of my room or the door open until it was too late.

"Wanda! What are you doing?" I shoved my sleeves back down my arm, frantically trying to cover the blood, but Nat had already seen it. She rushed over to me and demanded I gave her my wrists. She seemed mad which only made me more upset. "Wanda, give me your wrists!"

I backed up and shook my head, still pulling my sleeves down in order to cover my hands as well. It wouldn't help though, Nat had already seen them. 

I was too slow for Nat as her hand shot out quickly and grabbed my left wrist. She shoved my sleeve back up my arm and her eyes widened as she looked at all of the wounds. This was too much for me, I could feel myself panicking. I didn't want her to know!

"Nat please!" I cried as she grabbed my other wrist. She looked at that one too and I could see the horror peeking through her neutral expression. She looked worried, angry, and sad. 

I was crying even harder as I tried to hide my face from her. I couldn't stand to look at her expression. "Oh Wanda," I barely heard her over my sobs. There was no way I could hide my face in the position I was in so I opted to just face the floor, letting my tears fall to the ground.

I felt Nat remove the rubber band from my wrist and it took all my power to not jump up and grab it back. I needed that, it was what kept me in line. 

"Wanda," I heard her say in a gentle voice. Here is where she tells me that I am no longer allowed to stay with her, that I'm too much work, and that she's going to send me to some kind of psychiatric hospital. "Honey, calm down, I'm not mad." Just disappointed my mind filled in for me which did nothing to help my panic. "Baby, can you talk to me?" Maybe she didn't hate me. She was also a trained spy and assassin though so this could just be her act, get me to trust her, and then she'll pull it away.

"Wanda," she continued when I still didn't look at her. I felt her fingers cup under my chin as she gently pushed up to make me face her. "Honey," she started carefully, "How long have you been doing this?"

I turned my eyes back to the ground. I couldn't answer that question. It had been way too long and I knew that. I wasn't ready for her to know everything yet. It was moving too fast!

"Wanda, how long?" she was whispering at this point. 

"Since before we left the farm," I mumbled, hoping that she wouldn't hear me, but of course, she heard me.

I heard her take a sharp intake of breath so I stole a glance at her face to see the horror plastered on her face. There it was, I really messed up. "I'm sorry," I cried, hoping that this would be enough to not make her send me away.

"Shh, it's okay honey. Don't apologize." She pulled me into a hug and I was relieved that she was offering me comfort. This was what I needed. I needed my mom to tell me that everything was going to be okay and Nat was here to help me. 

After I calmed down a tiny bit, she stood me up and led me into the bathroom. She cleaned my wrists and then asked the question that I was dreading. "Why didn't you come talk to me baby?"

"I wanted to, I really did Nat!" I tried to convince her. "I just couldn't! I didn't know how to tell you that I was being this weak again," I finished brokenly.

She crouched down so that she was on the floor in front of me and she grabbed my hands. "Wanda Maximoff, you are NOT weak, you are so incredibly strong. I love you, Clint loves you, the entire team loves you, we never want to see you get hurt." This made my light crying turn back into sobs as I processed her words. It meant so much to me that I finally had a family again, a family who loved and cared about me. I was just in such an emotional state right now.

Tasha finished wrapping my wrists and then she led me to the bed after announcing that we should get some sleep. 

I got in the bed and curled up at the opposite side of the bed as Nat as I sobbed. "Wanda, baby, do you want to talk?" I heard Nat ask me gently. I really didn't but I didn't want to upset her. I didn't know what to do anymore. She had found out my huge weakness and I didn't know how I felt about it. I was glad I finally had someone to help me but now I no longer had a coping mechanism to keep myself controlled.

Nat rubbed my back as she continued to talk to me, "We don't have to go to bed quite yet if you don't want to. We could go watch a movie or play a game, whatever you want." I still didn't answer because I was trying to process the fact that she had just found out my huge secret. 

I felt her hand leave my back and I cried harder at the loss of contact. Maybe she had given up on me. 

I quickly saw her appear on the side of the bed that I was facing. She crouched next to the bed as she brushed my hair out of my face. "Sweetheart, it's okay. What's wrong? I can't read minds, you've gotta talk to me." 

I shook my head as I tried to turn the other way but Nat's hand stopped me. She got into bed next to me and pulled me into her chest. I sobbed into her chest, gripping onto her as I released all of the pain and panic that I was holding onto. "Shh, honey. I love you," she repeated as she rubbed my back.

I felt my eyelids grow heavier as I fell asleep, not bothering to move off of Nat as she was comfortable and I felt safe.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I woke up at midnight after a nightmare of Nat and Pietro yelling at me about my self-harm. They called me weak, ugly, fat, any name they could think of as they approached me. It hurt so much to hear two of the people that I loved the most, calling me terrible names.

I managed to hold back my tears as I got off of the bed and went to the window. I felt like I couldn't breathe so I needed some fresh air. The cold night helped immensely and I was soon able to sit down in front of the window, next to Nat. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked me after a few minutes. 

I shook my head but apologized for earlier. "I'm so sorry for earlier."

Nat placed her hand over my hands and started talking, "Wanda, it's okay. I do want to talk a little bit about it later but it does not have to be in the middle of the night." My stomach flipped painfully at the thought of talking about that but I managed to keep my face calm. "I'm not upset, I'm not disappointed, I'm not angry, I am a little worried, I'll admit but I get to do that, I'm your mom." She knocked her shoulder against mine as she smiled and I felt a small smile come to my face. 

"Are you ready to try to sleep again or do you want to sit here a little longer?"

"Sit here if that's okay?" I asked, nervous that she would say no.

"That is completely okay," she told me warmly and I relaxed against her.

After several more minutes of just sitting, I sat up. My back was starting to get cramped from sitting in this position. "You ready for bed?" 

I really wasn't but I didn't want to force Nat to sit here any longer so I nodded as I walked back to the bed. Again, I curled back into the corner of the bed, on the opposite side of Nat. I didn't deserve her comfort. 

"You okay?" she asked me. I just nodded as I fell asleep for the second time that night.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

 _Pietro was standing in my room at the compound. "You really are a terrible bitch Wanda. You know that right?" He was glaring at me as he spoke. "You betrayed me, mother, papa, everyone in our family. You replaced us with_ Natasha," _he hissed her name._ _"Everyone hates you Wanda, you don't deserve to live," he told me and he smiled viciously._

_I backed up to try to get away from him while begging, "Please Pietro. I'm sorry! Please, I didn't replace you! I miss you all so much! I tried to go back to you guys but I can't with Nat around. I love you so much! Please!"_

_He continued to back me into the wall and then he picked me up and started running with super speed throughout the compound. We got outside and there was a huge hole in the ground, he threw me into it and then I saw more heads appear._

_The hole was at least 10 feet deep and for some reason, my powers were not working so there was no way I could escape. I felt stinging and I looked down to see the wounds on my wrist had reopened and were bleeding._

_"That's for replacing us Wanda!" Pietro shouted from the top of the hole. I looked up to see Clint, Laura, Nat, Pepper, Steve, Tony, mother, and papa all circle around the hole, holding shovels._

_"No!" I shouted._

_Everyone started shouting at me, telling me how worthless I was as they started to shovel dirt into the hole. I choked on the taste of dirt as it started to fall on my head and travel down my body. I heard a scream and looked up to see Pietro's torso get scattered with bloody spots as he fell in the hole with me. His body was sprawled out at awkward angles as he laid on the floor._

_"Pietro!" I screamed but couldn't move to him._

_"I've always hated you Wanda," I heard Nat's voice say. I looked back up. "You're a terrible child and you are so selfish. You are fat, ugly, weak, really, the list goes on. I could keep going if you want. I've never loved you and I'm so glad I can finally do what I've wanted to do since day one...kill you!"_

With that last comment, I shot up in bed, sucking in as much air as I could get from the room, glad to no longer taste dirt. "Shh, it's okay honey," I heard from beside me and I knew that the voice belonged to Tasha. It calmed me down a little bit to hear that Nat didn't seem to hate me but I was still shaking and crying as I got out of bed and started to pace. 

I couldn't deal with the nightmares anymore. That was actually one of the easier nightmares but it was my second one tonight which was a lot for me to handle. 

I barely registered as words started pouring out of my mouth, continuing to pace the room as I tried to calm down. It sounded like Nat was talking to me but I couldn't make out what she was saying as my pacing continued. 

I remembered the cuts on my wrist from the dream and I started to panic as I grasped at my wrists. 

I saw Nat approaching me and I was able to calm down slightly when she looked calm, not angry like she had in my dream. "I can't do this anymore mama," I whimpered, wanting her to make it all stop. "I can't keep seeing the disappointment. I can't watch them die over and over again." 

"Okay Wanda, you're doing great. Just take some big deep breaths and we can relax okay?" I tried to take deep breaths but it felt like my lungs were being constricted so I could manage tiny, shallow breaths. 

I fell to the ground and continued to cry, the dream replaying over and over again in my mind. 

I felt as Nat grew closer and then as she touched my arm. I wanted her to hold me so bad but I didn't want to overstep. I felt her arms wrap around me so I took this as my chance to latch onto her. 

She held me close as I cried, finally getting the comfort that I craved. 

I felt myself running out of tears and my crying slowly stopped. I still couldn't stop thinking about the dream though and that made me shake with fear and leftover panic. 

"Are you okay?" Nat asked me gently.

I shrugged as I pulled myself closer to Nat, not wanting to let go yet. 

"Okay, so here's the deal, we can either talk about your dreams now, or we can rest a little bit longer and then talk about them later today? Your choice."

"I don't want to sleep," I whimpered.

"Okay, we don't have to honey. We can watch a movie or something if you aren't ready to talk yet." I nodded at that and we moved to the bed, I stayed tucked in her side the entire time. Tasha was talking like we were going to have a conversation about my dreams but she couldn't force me to talk and I wasn't going to. What happened in my dreams was my business, not hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> As always, feedback is appreciated. If you would like to see anything changed, added, whatever, let me know! I'm open to suggestions and love getting requests so that I can include what you guys want to read!!
> 
> Hope you all have a great weekend!


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